the strangest place i've ever visited

As I was writing my year-end synopsis yesterday, I realized I had never written about my experience in the strangest place on Earth. 

During my travels around the area this year, one place I stumbled upon was called the Sci Fi Cafe.  Okay, I didn't really stumble upon it - I had heard about it before and thought that since I was in the area with my kid, we'd stop by and take a look.  Now, I've visited their website and have seen the pictures, but it still didn't prepare me for the insanity we were about to witness. 

When you think of a place named "Sci Fi Cafe" what comes to mind?  Me, the image of some 50's style diner with neon, posters of Sci Fi movies and tv shows, some toys scattered around, lots of memorabilia, etc.  Well, that is soooo far from the setup of this place, it's laughable. The sign on the door is somewhat what I would expect...Superman.  (I take that back, it's not really Supe...it's a superhero that looks exactly like him, except he has a "B" on his chest instead of an "S") Okay, that's stretching Sci Fi, but I can let it go. 

We walked into the old downtown building and veered into the room on the right that vaguely resembled the pictures I had seen on the website, except it was dark, full of stuff, had a total of two people in it and I saw no indication of any type of food service whatsoever.  We were both a little leery, but we walked in and the middle-aged man in there asked if we were there to eat, look around or ask questions.  I thought the safest bet would be to go with the old "look around" answer.  That way we could bolt at any time.  Let me try to describe this place as best I can:

As you walk in, there is a giant robot holding a Welcome sign.  To your left is an alcove filled with old computers which are all on pages relating to alien abductions.  In front of those computers sits two banquet tables put together to form a large square table that is piled with printouts of stories about ghosts, aliens, fairies, werewolves and the like, as well as stacks of books written by the owner of the establishment with titles such as "Believe in the Magic" and "Truths Revealed" that are for sale.  To the right I find the counter that, in the pictures, is where patrons sit and eat, but today is covered in a conspiracy theorist hoarder's paradise.  Oh - and there's a small 4 cup coffee maker with a few mugs for those who want a cuppa joe while they're relaxing in this room of bliss.  Toward the back of the room, I find two kitchen-nook-sized tables with matching chairs.  You know, the kind you'd find for sale at Shopko.  On top of these tables were small menus and paper napkins.  Ah - that gave the whole cafe thing away.  Along the walls of the dining area were shelves and shelves of alien merchandise for sale as well as a "library" of books on the paranormal.  Yeah, I'd say this place was pretty paranormal alright.  Every here and there, you'd find a picture from Star Trek or Doctor Who, but for the most part, it was "evidence" found in the area of otherworldly beings and the like. 

I knew that some of this place would be pretty kooky - I mean, they have guided tours of the "Sacred Woods" that are inhabited by trolls and fairies and ghosts.  They believe there's some sort of energy vortex where "mysterious entities use wormholes as doorways to travel throughout the multi-dimensions in and out of our timeline" (I'm not making this up - it's straight off of their website)  They believe that the town they are located in was founded by an ancient race of aliens and, of course, have proof of this.  And to top it all off, they also have a haunted basement, which I was somewhat interested in seeing until I saw just how looney this place was.

Anyway...  so there we were, looking at all the crap - while constantly being watched by the man who greeted us.  Apparently he was afraid we'd want to walk off with all of the high-quality merchandise in the bins around us.   My son was dead-set on buying something...anything...but everything was so outrageously priced that almost everything he picked I ended up having to say no to.  He finally settled on a couple of $.50 parachuting alien thingies.

Once our purchase was made, the watcher told us if we wanted to look at more items, we could go into the room across the hall where they had another store.  What I really wanted to do was decline and run away, but figuring that would be a little obvious, we smiled and went in.  This room was mauve and full of fairies and angels and looked like the bad parts of a Renaissance faire threw up in a Victorian mansion. 

We looked around for about 2 1/2 minutes when someone walked in with a birthday cake.  Chocolate, with 3 candles on it.  Turns out the lady carrying the cake is the owner of the place (and the author of many of the books in the other room) and the man who had been watching us was her husband.  She and the other person who had been hiding out in the cafe the whole time started singing "Happy Birthday" to him and he blew out the candles.  Okay - that was normal enough.  Then the owner announced to us that they were celebrating her husband's 130th birthday.

I told him he looked pretty good for his age.

There was no way I was going to get into that one.  I was sure that they would go into some sort of alien past-life thing and I just didn't want to have to try to keep a straight face, nor get the questions from my son on the way home.  She also told me that the three candles on the cake represented his past, present and future lives.  (Again - not going to get into that one with them either.) Then she asked us if we wanted any cake. 

My son was the first one to decline.  Yes, a 10-year-old boy said no to a piece of chocolate cake.  At that point, I knew that he wanted out as much as I did.  I thanked them for the offer and said we really had to be going, wished him a happy birthday, and we left.  As soon as we got out the door, my kid looks at me and says, "I felt really uncomfortable there."  I told him he wasn't alone. 

If you're ever bored and want a chuckle or if you just want to get very confused, check out their website. Or if you're really up for an adventure and can keep a straight face while people talk to you about mounds built by aliens and trolls that eat M&Ms, give them a visit.  But if you do, I want to hear about it - and let me know if you actually eat anything there.  We just couldn't stomach it.

2010: the year that was....eh

I've been reading friends' posts about their lives in 2010.  The exciting news, moves, promotions, babies, etc.  My year was not so exciting.  In all honesty, I have had to go back through my blog posts and photos to remember exactly what went on this year, and now I understand why I don't remember it.  It was basically a whole lotta nuthin'.  So, now I'll try to make it sound exciting....

January:  A fantastic month of...um...winter.  It was January, it was cold, and I had another birthday.

February:  Our annual trip to a waterpark resort.  We were warm, it was snowing outside.  After having to buy a tent of a swimsuit for the trip, I decided it was time to get serious about losing weight.  Once we returned from the trip, that's exactly what I did.

March: The snow started to thaw and I started to walk a few times a week.  Another St. Patty's day came and went with no celebration.

April/May:  Spring months filled with spring stuff.  Hiking, walking, getting outside, etc.  It was muddy and getting warmer.

June:  Ooh - this was an eventful month!  Went with my son to the zoo where I witnessed feline fornication, then a couple of days later, my dad had a heart attack.  Kind of what one would consider a roller coaster kind of month.

July:  It got hot out...very hot, and we went to the Renaissance Faire in the midst of the heat.  Somewhere during the month, we had the 4th of July and a few other assorted free festivals.  Huzzah.

August:  Still hot outside.  Went to the drive-in theater.  My son got a year older.  Started doing a little bit of running with my walks.

September:  School started, fall was in the air.  I like fall.  Travelled around the county taking pictures for no reason.  Went to some place full of crazies called the Sci-Fi Cafe.  Too scary to ever go back.

October:  October's always been my favorite month of the year.  Lots of fall colors, great temps, no mosquitoes.  The hubby got a year older and we celebrated another wedding anniversary by eating at a chain restaurant.  Woo hoo!  Halloween scary-movie-watching Happiness, and I started on my quest to run.

November:  Tornadoes followed by bitter wind chills and a tasty turkey dinner.

December:  Snow, shopping, Christmas, another New Years Eve at home while the hubby's at work...

And so that's how the year went.  It wasn't bad, it wasn't terrific.  We stayed close to home for the most part.  I lost 25-30 lbs since February (depending on when I weigh myself), and for the most part, we've been pretty happy.  Happy is good...a little excitement would be better.  Bring on 2011!

ronery, i'm so ronery......

It's been a while since I've been able to hang out with my friends; those near and those far.  I am really starting to miss being around people who "get" me.  Here's an example... At my workplace, we have a group due to arrive this week that is Turkish.  When people start to talk about this group, their sentences usually begin with, "The Turks are coming," or, "When the Turks get here." At one point, I responded, "Sheesh!  You make it sound like the Ottoman Empire is invading!" 

Silence and blank stares on their faces.  They didn't get it.  I've tried this reference on a couple of different people around here and none of them have gotten it.  I'm not sure if they have even heard of the Ottoman Empire before let alone find Turkey on a map.  All they know is they're Muslim and, well, let's not get into that.

Okay, so they don't know history...how about a movie reference to go with?  The opening sequence in Bram Stoker's Dracula when the Ottoman Empire is invading Transylvania and Prince Vlad is fighting them in his wolf armor. You know, this one: 



"Hmmm...I don't think I've ever seen that movie.  Is it any good?" 

Please.  Shoot me now.

At one point, I started singing They Might Be Giants "Istanbul (Not Constantinople)"  Again, they'd never heard of it.  I give up!  It's not like I'm talking about obscure 12th century poets.  These are some (I would think) pretty well known things.

My friends - my wonderful, funny, intelligent, curious, open-minded friends who know of life outside of reality TV, People Magazine and Business Weekly - would get my references right away.  Until I see them again, I guess I'll just stay alone in my own little world of "me"-ness.

how to lose six pounds in six hours

It's not fun and I do not recommend it to my friends, but it's what happened to me on Saturday night.  I don't know if it was something that I ate or some sort of stomach virus, but it hit me hard.  From the hours of 6pm to 11pm, I made my residence on our bathroom floor, writhing in agony.  I haven't thrown up in years, and I have to say, I haven't missed it.  Yup - it was a both-ender dear friends.  It was not pretty. 

Not to go into any horrific details (or maybe it's too late)  I'll just say that after I was finally able to stand up long enough to weigh myself just out of curiosity, figuring I might have lost 3lbs or so, I was shocked to find that I had in fact gone down 6 lbs from what I weighed that morning.  And this was at night - so I probably weighed even more than that when it all started.  So, I finally hit that 30 pound mark from when I started losing weight back in February.  Not quite the way I wanted to, but...

As I'm writing this on Monday afternoon, I still haven't eaten much of anything.  Occasional toast, a banana here and there.  I could probably try for something a little more substantial, but I don't want to chance it yet.  I'm tired, dizzy, spacey and have a blue-tinged tongue due to the Gatorade I've been sipping on all day.  If this was a virus I'm probably still contagious, but these people still need their reports.  Priorities you know.  As long as my son doesn't get hit with it, all will be better soon.

By the way...I really have no idea how people with bulimia can do this...on purpose. 

nuthin' says "i love you" like a load of bacon

I had to repost this link that one of my friends posted on facebook.  It has the perfect gift for any level of bacon-lover.  The casual bacon eater might enjoy some Bacon Potato Chips while your connoisseur might want to join the Bacon Society.  Me - I think I'll be asking Santa for some Maple Bacon Coffee to go along with the Bacon Chocolate Chip Pancakes that I would live to try.  Enjoy it before the cardiac arrest sets in!

a new wisconsin holiday standard

Sung by my son to the tune of Silent Night

Silent Night
Holy Night
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah
Blah blah blah blah
Something blah
Something something I like pants
Not as much as I like cheeeeeese
Ode to cheese and pants

gettin' in the mood

The mood for Christmas, people.  Sheesh!  I'm having a hard time realizing that Christmas is only 12 days away and that I should be singing Christmas songs and chugging egg nog.  I'm just not feelin' it yet.  I thought maybe if I post some of my favorite holiday songs on here, I can start humming along.

"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" - the version Judy Garland sings in Meet Me In St. Louis.  The lyrics are just a little bit different because the family is just about to move from their long-time home, but they're better.  "Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow," makes me cry every time.



"When the River Meets the Sea" is a classic from the Muppets in two different forms.  First, it was on the classic album A Christmas Together - John Denver & The Muppets and then showed up again in Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas.  Both versions are beautiful and need to be played over and over.



"Ave Maria" - Harry Connick Jr's version.  I don't know why I like this version so much better than the other 3 million out there, but I just love it!  (I do have to apologize that this is the only video of the song I've been able to find.  Just close your eyes and listen)



"Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" by David Bowie and Bing Crosby.  This has got to be one of the oddest pairings in music history, but somehow it worked. 



"White Christmas" I have to hear two different versions of this song every year - The original Bing Crosby version and this one by the Drifters.



"Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"  Yes, it's never going to be that easy, and John could be quite idealistic, but it's a great song.  I think listening to Yoko warble in the background with the kids is my favorite part.



"Do They Know It's Christmas" by that one time conglomerate group...Band Aid.  It was a noble idea, but it's also a ridiculous song.  "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."  Really?  I think I have to listen to it every year just to chuckle.  And then I have to watch the parade of bad hair in the video.



Okay, that's a start anyway.  I'll have to think on this a little more and maybe add a Part 2 a little later.

my christmas list

With everyone strapped for cash this year, I won't be getting any presents.  It's about the giving, not the receiving...I know, I know...and it's true.  I suppose everything I want would be above and beyond what any normal person would be able to afford though anyway.  If I could make a Christmas list for my imaginary millionaire boyfriend, it would go something like this:

1. Clothes.  Please someone buy me clothes that actually fit me.  I'm so tired of looking like I have no ass because my pants are halfway hanging off of me.  I'm sick of pulling my bra straps back up.  I would like to have clothes with no holes, no ripped seams, that I don't swim in and that actually make me look and feel good. (This does include shoes as well.  Mine are starting to go kaput)
2. Vacations.  I want to travel.  I'm feeling trapped right now - I wanna spread my wings and flyyyy.  I want vacations with the family, vacations with the hubby only and vacations by myself.  Where?  Oh, I'm not picky.  At this point, I'll go anywhere.
3. Better Health Insurance.  I'd love it if someone paid for our health insurance so we could get some decent coverage.  The insurance we have right now is crap and barely covers anything, but it's what we can afford to have taken out of my paycheck.  I'd love to actually go to the doctor when I probably should and not put things off until they get really bad.
4. Gift Cards to Restaurants.  When going to Taco Bell for lunch is a big treat, you know you gotta get out more.
5. Quality Cookware.  I'm tired of having to buy new pans every other year.  I didn't know this stuff was supposed to be disposable.
6. A Personal Trainer.  I need someone to whip me into shape.  (Oh, there are so many places I could go with that...)  I need to be told what I need to do and what to eat to get me where I want to be physically.  I'm getting there, but need assistance sil vous plait.
7. A New Car with No Payments.  See.  That's the catch.  We could get another new car, but we just couldn't afford that second payment.  We have one new one, but the other one is getting to be pretty unstable.  Two perfectly working automobiles would be very helpful.
8. A Monthly Allowance.  So I can quit my job of course. 

See - I'm not a materialistic person.  I just need things replaced or things to help maintain sanity.  Wait, maybe if I get the millionaire boyfriend for Christmas, everything else would be taken care of.  Christmas list revised:

1. Millionaire Boyfriend.  Preferably around my age, somewhat attractive, doesn't mind me spending most of my time with my husband and son...

Yup - that's much easier.

you lift me up

On those rare off days when I'm feeling low, some things still make me smile:
My son's laugh,
my hubby's arms around me,
a nice walk outside,
a random note from a friend,
new pictures of Johnny Depp...

say something profound

Sometimes I wish I could say something that was so wise that my friends would thank me.  I find myself thanking them much more often.  I just can't express myself the way I used to.  I was a poet, an artist, a singer, and without keeping up with it all, I've lost it.

With this blog, I've tried bringing some of it back.  Tried expressing myself in a different way, but I tend to fall short of what I've really wanted to do with it.  I've tried digging out my sketch pad every now and then, but I have no ideas of what to do with it and those few times I do get ideas, the result is nowhere near what I envisioned.  Disappointed in myself, the book and pencils go back into the closet.  My writing skills come and go.  I do write things every now and again that I look at and smile at, and the rest of the time I write 4 or 5 lines and never finish it.  Singing?  I'm a great car singer.  That's about the extent of it these days.

I'm trying to figure out what to do to get that part of myself back...the artsy, creative me.  If I really work at it maybe I'll get there, but is creativity something you're really able to work at?  Isn't it just either there or not?  And if I had it once...where did it go?  Did I give it all to my son when he was born?  I'm thankful he has it, but I'd like to have a little bit of it back.

I know I'm not the only one who has felt this way.  I just am kind of stuck and don't know what else I can try.  Any suggestions?

i don't understand

Why is my family addicted to this stupid video?

...and i feel fine (addendum)

You might remember a while ago when I wrote this post and mentioned that "if the Holy See started giving all of its money away to third world nations to promote the use of condoms, I might just take that as a sure sign" of the world ending.  Well campers, start hoarding canned goods, ammo and drinking water - The Pope has announced that in "some cases" condom use is justified as a means of stopping the spread of HIV.

Wha?  Of course, "'The intention is very important here because it is to safeguard one from viruses such as the pandemic,' and not to sanction birth control."  So, he gave the example of male prostitutes engaging in homosexual sex since there's no chance of pregnancy anyway.  Oookay...so, if you're gonna "sin" by being a homosexual at least don't kill other people while doing it?  Well, that's thoughtful.  Today it was released that he also sanctions use by infected women as well (whoa!) because it is the "lesser evil" to stop a pregnancy by a thin little layer of latex than to knowingly infect a sexual partner.  Allrighty!  I can't wait to hear the church debate what is acceptable usage and what's not, but at least it's a step in the right direction.

Anyone know of any stores running sales on cases of Dinty Moore?  Could they throw in a free shopping cart - I think I'm gonna need it.

lightweight

I had two alcoholic beverages last night...only TWO...and I woke up in the middle of the night with cottonmouth, sweating like a fat man at a Vegas buffet.  I used to be able to have three of those things much later on in the day and not feel a thing later on.  WTF, man?  Is it the fact that I'm not eating as many carbs to soak it all up, is it the weight loss?  I know - it's because I'm getting old, isn't it?  I guess it's not such a bad thing though - it helps to conserve money.

Don't get me wrong, we're not sitting around drinking every night, but I do have one beverage an evening as part of my after-work routine.  It helps me unwind and get over the day.  I guess I just can't have any more than the one drink anymore unless I feel like paying for it that night.

To this I say, "Boo!"

forever young

That's the song I remember being played over and over at his funeral.  That and "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel.  As I was there, with so many other members of our high school sophomore class, I found myself flashing back to the past - what little past we had - and smiling, yet at the same time feeling terribly guilty.  I guess that's pretty common for a funeral, isn't it?

Rewind to 5th grade.  He was the first guy I ever knew of who ever had a crush on me. I don't know how he saw me the first time, we went to different schools, but he told a mutual friend he liked me and apparently sent her off to do some investigating.  She showed me his picture, told me he liked me and wondered what I thought. Well, I was in 5th grade and was madly "in love" with some other guy (who had no interest in me whatsoever), so I didn't really care about him.  Our paths would cross  - OM practice, I walk into the art room, he's practicing with his team and shoving oranges down his shirt.  So very fitting for him. :)  I rolled my eyes, he was embarrassed, and that was that.  The annual district-wide Pioneer Day arrived.  We all congregated in one school gym and had to dance the Virginia Reel.  The boys had to choose their partners and he asked me.  I was of course hoping for the boy of my dreams to come rushing to my side, but he didn't.  I got this tall, lanky guy with a funny hat.  Little did I know he was also very uncoordinated and also the class clown, so he was literally tripping and falling over his own feet.  I was thoroughly embarrassed at the time, but now I look back and laugh.

More after the jump...

bad dreams

Last night (or this morning), I had an odd dream again, but this wasn't the kind that made me laugh when I woke up.  Though, some of it should have.  I don't remember much of it at this point, but I do know that it put me in a very melancholy mood that I just can't seem to shake today.

The dream was set at my supposed class reunion held at some odd bar that doesn't exist.  The people who I really wanted to see didn't show up.  Most of the people who did end up attending were the ones who were vain, self-centered and made fun of people.  Apparently they hadn't grown up because they acted exactly the same way all these years later.  Now, I'm sure in real life they've matured like the rest of us and have seen the error of their ways (or I hope so anyway), but in this dream it was like they picked up right where they left off.  I guess it caught me off guard or something, because it really affected me.  I was able to give quick comebacks and a few striking one-liners, but inside it still hurt.

Now, these days rumors don't bother me - they amuse me.  If people speak ill of me, it just makes me feel bad about them because it's the only way they can feel better about themselves.  I'm in a good place - great family, stable job (even though I don't like it), getting healthier and healthier, etc.  I don't have the low self esteem like I used to.  That's why I was so surprised after waking up to find that this stupid dream made me so depressed.  I'm trying to shake it off, but it just isn't working.  I need a good laugh with some friends or something.  Sitting here at my desk certainly isn't doing anything for me.

Ah well, I know I'll come out of it unscathed by tomorrow morning.  Maybe I'll have a dream tonight that sets everything right again.

15 movies that stick with you

This is one of those facebook things where one person writes a list of favorites in their notes, tags a bunch of people, and then those people are supposed to do the same thing in turn.  Well. my parents were the ones who tagged me.  This poses two problems as 1) I have my notes hidden from family members and 2) I really don't think they need to know my list of memorable movies because some of them are memorable for reasons my parents don't need to know.  I like thinking about these movies though, so I've decided to post these in my blog where I can feel a little more open about what I say.  I've never been one to follow the rules when it comes to some things. 

Here goes:
 THE RULES: Don't take too long to think about it. Fifteen films you've seen that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes. Tag fifteen friends, including me, because I'm interested in seeing what films my friends choose. (To do this, go to your Notes tab on your profile page, paste rules in a new note, cast your fifteen picks and tag people in the note)

1. Amadeus - Best movie ever.  There isn't a single thing I don't like about it.
2. Pee Wee's Big Adventure - I can recite this movie line for line.  Blame it on a sleep-over in 5th grade when we watched it over and over. 
3. Bram Stoker's Dracula - We saw this after going to visit a prospective college.  I was still a little hopped-up on codeine from my tonsillectomy, so the visuals looked 10 times better and the acting probably didn't seem quite as bad at the time.  I will say one thing though - the whole vampire thing put us in the right mood to have a very memorable evening once we got home.
4. Basic Instinct - Me and the hubby's first date.  Way to start things off with a bang, huh?  In high school, I wanted to be just like the lead character - strong, smart, sly, and kinky.
5. Kiss Kiss, Bang Bang - It's just so freaking funny and in such a dry, quick-witted manner.  I love getting people turned on to this one since it was never very well-known.
6. Labyrinth - Come on - a fairy tale by Jim Henson with awesome characters, the Bog of Eternal Stench, Ludo, and of course David Bowie in leather and tights.  "Love me, fear me, do as I say and I will be your slave."  Yup.
7. White Nights - One word...Baryshnikov
8. Pollyanna - I'm not saying this is one of my favorites, but it certainly is memorable.  I used to watch it every time it was on TV just to torture my poor father.
9. The Doors - My friends and I saw this in the theater 4 times.  This was quite a fete being that it was rated R and we were still underage.  Seeing it on the big screen was like a drug trip in itself...or so it would seem.  I have nothing to compare it to.
10. Ghostbusters - I saw this with my parents in the theater when it first came out and I remember the audience singing along with the theme song.  So great, it still holds up after all these years.  My friends and I still use the gatekeeper/keymaster analogy.
11. Poltergeist 2 - I had a hard time deciding between the first and second Poltergeist movies, but I have to go with the second because of Reverend Kane and "God is in his holy temple," the tequila worm monster and Taylor and the car.  Classic.
12. Anchorman - The first time I watched this movie, I thought it was the most stupid thing on the face of the earth, but once I watched again, I found myself laughing heartily.  It's now one of my favorites.
13. Star Wars/Empire Strikes Back/Return of the Jedi - I know, they're three separate movies, but they're a trilogy and therefore one continued storyline.  Come on, these shaped a whole generation of us.  What girl didn't want to be Princess Leia and what guy didn't think Han Solo was cool or geek out when Leia was in her slave costume?  Iconic is the best word I can think of for them.
14. Dangerous Liasons - A wonderful interweaving of damaged characters.  Brilliantly played, beautiful scenery and costumes, tons of mind games.  Perfect.
15. Ed Wood - Wonderful movie about a director who, at the time, I didn't think many people knew about.  Martin Landau does a spot-on Bela Lugosi, Bill Murray as a character named "Bunny," Sarah Jessica Parker in a role I could actually tolerate, and Johnny Depp doing a strip-tease in angora.  Need I say more?

things that should not go together

Painkillers and alcohol, cotton fabric and a dryer on high heat, toothpaste and orange juice, foil and fillings...

The words "Don Draper" and "in the butt" should never...never...be used together.  This is just disturbing.

And funny.

for a few who are close to me

I'm sorry I don't understand,
I can't identify,
Nor do I want to.
It's not that I don't care
Or love you,
Or wish I could help,
But I know I can't help you
And I don't know what can.
The happy go lucky people you were
Are disappearing before my eyes
And in place of those vibrant souls
Are small, quivering beings
Who I don't recognize.
I don't know how to deal with it.
Avoidance is my shield -
Be it right or wrong -
My way of hiding from the fear
Of the futures that lie ahead.
Yours and mine.
I can only fix myself
Not you
And I'm working on it.
I have to push the fear aside
And let you in again.
But until then, I apologize
For not being the support you need
You still have my love
And you'll be seeing more of me soon.

-R

the morning after

Election day has finally come and gone.  (I was so sick of political ads even though I would fast forward through most of them.)  I can't say I'm pleased with the results, but what happened happened, so now we have to move forward with what we have.  So, here's a little song for everyone to sing along to - left and right, red and blue, and everyone in between:

farewell, little man

So, I got a tearful message on my phone today from my mother letting me know that they had to put down the last of their cats.  It was a good thing - the right thing to do.  He was 15, had major painful digestive issues, was beginning to lose weight and it was just time.  He was also the cat that I was closest to.

I'm the one who found him as a kitten, got him used to people and was able to bring him in where he was safe.  There were always cats running around our neighborhood, but never a teeny kitten like this one.  This was a tiny little black kitten who was hunting grasshoppers for food.  Tiny, muscular, stealthy.  Somehow I got him close enough to me at one point where I saw he had green eyes.  For years I wanted a black cat with green eyes, and here he was!  Unfortunately, we had just adopted a cat a few months before and we weren't about to get another one.  One little catch though - it was mid-October and he was a black cat.  I was afraid he'd end up being the victim of some wanna-be-devil-worshipping-freakshow.  We decided we'd try to catch him and get him to the shelter where he'd be safer.

It took a little while for me to coax him over to me and get him to trust me, but boy did he love the attention once he did.  I was finally able to pick him up and we put him in a pet crate on our front porch.  We'd leave him there overnight and then take him to the shelter the next day (even though I secretly wanted to keep him).  Before my dad was ready to take him, he took him out of the crate and the little kitten climbed up onto his shoulder and started purring in his ear.  My dad's heart melted, he cried "He's not playing fair!" and the decision was made to keep him.  He was named Squeakers (Squeaks for short) because that was about the size of his meow.

The rest is history.  I got married and moved out a year later.  He gained plenty of weight, became a fierce protector and had many cute little routines that my parents will miss greatly.  Though he lived with them and he was their cat, part of me will always think of him as my little man.  I'm sure his next life will be a great one.

i'm a terrible swede

One-quarter of me is Swedish.  Our Christmas Eve gatherings were very Swedish in nature - meatballs, ham, rice pudding, potato sausage, etc.  My family is very Scandinavian in demeanor and taste and though most of me is Dutch, I've always considered myself Swedish.  Go figure.

Unfortunately, I've never been one for Swedish pop culture that permeates the US.  ABBA - never a huge fan.  I can dance to "Dancing Queen" with the best of 'em, but other than that I just don't care much for them.  Roxette and Ace of Base?  Blech.  I've never stepped foot inside an Ikea, and frankly don't think I ever will unless one pops up within 30 miles of me and I just don't see that happening.  I tried watching Let The Right One In the other night and ended up falling asleep about half an hour into it - and as anyone who reads this blog knows, I'm a huge vampire person.

The thing that really firmed it up for me though was I started reading The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo last week.  You know, the book that everyone is reading by the Swedish author who turned in the books then died and everyone just loves?  The one that Hollywood couldn't wait to get it's hands on?  (I know, I don't usually go for the trendy books, but it was a free book in our cafeteria and some of my friends even recommended it to me, so I thought I'd go against what I usually do...)  Yeah, I got about 100 pages into it and I just didn't care - couldn't get into it.  I put it back in the cafeteria today for someone else to try.

Oh dear, my own people put me to sleep!  Throw the pop culture snubs on top of the fact that I can't stand lefse or herring and this doesn't bode well.  Maybe I should stop thinking of myself as a Swede and go more on the Dutch side.  What kind of pop culture things have the Dutch given us?  Tulips?  Windmills?  The desire of every college-age male to go there for hookers and pot?  Hmmm...maybe not.

There is one Swedish export I do enjoy though.  Alexander Skarsgard.  Thank you for that one, Sweden.

the men i ♥

Ah, men.  I love men.  True love, family, friends, people who make me laugh, think, make my heart go aflutter.

Here's to the men I heart in many different ways...the ones I know, and the ones I admire from afar...

My loving husband: Man o' my dreams, my knight in shining armor.  Hubby for 14 years.  Always ready to make me smile or laugh.  Encourages me to explore and grow and loves me for who I am.  Great father, thankfully great at math (since I'm not), takes care of me, the kid, the household.  He's a protector and a man of many talents.  Gotta love him.

My awesome son:  Well, of course

My dad:  A completely unique individual.  Quiet thinker, musician, poet, writer, photographer.  Taught me to be a free-thinker and for that I'll always be grateful.

My best friend:  I don't see or talk to this guy nearly enough, but when I do see him it's like we only saw each other yesterday.  Friends since 7th grade, he's one of the few people I can completely be myself around - he's seen me at my best and my worst and that's okay by me.

My pop-in-law and bro-in-law:  The men-folk in my husband's family.  Accepted me quickly into the family and for that I'll always be thankful.

My sangha friends: Smart, entertaining, thoughtful, compassionate and strong. It's great having these guys around.
My work "spouse":  I think that's what he's considered these days anyway.  The one person at my lousy job who I can laugh and roll my eyes with, talk to about silly 80's toys and shows and steal food from.  He keeps me somewhat sane there.

The mattress guy:  The poor guy who stands on the corner of the street by the strip mall, dressed in a mattress, constantly waving at the people driving past.  How many people suddenly think to themselves, "Hey, I think I'll buy a new mattress today!" upon seeing him.  I'm guessing maybe 1 every three months.  Yet, he still stands out there every weekend.

Johnny Depp:  I still don't know why.  He's so not my type, but YUM!  I used to hate him until I realized how many movies I loved that he starred in.  Maybe I still thought of him back in his 21 Jump Street days - baby faced, trying to be a rebel just to rebel.  I'm liking the good yet bad-boy, dirty pirate, great with kids combo.

Bill Murray:  Come on - this guy's been making us laugh since the beginning of time, he can do a great serious role and get right back to making us laugh again.  He's so out of the Hollywood game and yet he's worshipped.  Gotta heart him for that.

Jon Hamm:  This is a recent addition to the heart list.  Yes, he's suave yet naughty on Mad Men, but he's also freaking funny!  Seen him on SNL or 30 Rock?  He's great!  In interviews, he's honest and just like any regular guy.  I could hang out with him for a day and be totally happy.

That's a whole lotta love, and I haven't even skimmed the surface.  Men are awesome.  Need I say more?

random

Why would any man in his right mind want to visit a place named Cockburn Town?  Can you imagine telling people that's where you're going on your honeymoon?

the politics of it all

I'm not a political person at all, but I sure do get tired of those who consider themselves political by quoting the same old tired phrases that they hear other people saying.  I wonder if they even think about it or if they are blindly following. 

So many times lately I've heard, "Nobody should be given an handout.  If you work hard enough, you can accomplish anything."  While I would agree that there are unfortunately those out there who take advantage of the system, commit fraud, etc, there are many more out there who are legitimately in need of assistance.  What if the person has a legitimate disability that prevents them from holding a job?  Should they be working hard to find a cure for their ailment so they can get to work and make money?  How are single parents supposed to work three jobs while also taking care of their children? Yes, a person can always try to find an additional job to make money, but there are only so many hours in the day and if you have to take care of children as well as opposed to working to put your kids in day care - there's a limit.   Should they be working hard to find a spouse to help bear the financial load?  (And please don't assume all single parents started out as pregnant teens, there are plenty of people out there who started out with the "ideal family" image and things changed for one reason or another)

I'm sick of people being called "Loony Lefties," "Radical Right-Wingers," and the like.  Come on people - I think the words loony and radical would easily apply to many people on both ends of the political spectrum out there.  People who start calling people names and applying labels as soon as they disagree with their opinions obviously have no true argument and just want to sound tough.  It's like the schoolyard bully who can't think of a good comeback, so they just call you a name and walk off.

I'm so tired of it all.  Damn instant media and 24-hour news networks for trying to fill their time and space with sensationalistic nonsense that people actually listen to.  (And damn people for being sheep)  I'm hoping the political climate changes sometime soon because right now it's just embarrassing. 

There.  I feel a little better now.  'Nuff said.

it's just not the halloween season without 'em

Halloween is my favorite holiday.  I love everything about it - the scary movies, the zillions of shows about ghosts, the candy, the costumes, the ability to dress the way you really want to without being looked at strangely.  Oh, is that just me?

There are certain movies and shows that I have to watch every year.  You know, like the way some people have to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" every Christmas.  *shiver*   






Disney's "Legend of Sleepy Hollow."  A Halloween staple for me since grade school.  We got to watch movies for fun twice each year; once for Halloween when we got to watch this, and once in the spring when we watched The Lorax.  They'd pull down the screen, pop popcorn, shut off the lights and we just sat there, hypnotized by the clicking, whirring sound of the film going through the projector.  As for the movie itself, it was just the right mixture of humor and elementary horror.  It seemed so much longer back then though.  I'd still take this one over the Tim Burton movie any time.  (Apologies to Mr. Depp)



The Exorcist.  This movie still creeps the begeezus out of me.  The first time I tried watching it at a friends' house, we hid under the covers once things got going.  Never saw the full thing until about 5 years later.  It was that dang face that kept flashing on the screen.  Now when I watch it, I watch the director's cut with that dang crab walk that's just not humanly possible and...well...uber-creepy.



A Nightmare on Elm Street.  The original.  The best.  The first modern horror movie I had ever seen and I loved it.  Today it's campy and a bit dated, but it's still a necessity.  Oh - and I suppose this would give Johnny Depp a little Halloween list redemption.



Vincent Price movies.  House on Haunted Hill, The Pit and the Pendulum, House of Wax...  Campy, creepy, full of screams and classic.



"Scariest Places on Earth" marathons.  There's one on some channel every year.  What is it about the show that I love?  The macho families deciding to investigate haunted locations, losing their cool and screaming like children?  The melodramatic host?  Linda Blair in leather?  Zelda Rubenstein's awesome narration?  Yes.  All of the above.  And speaking of Zelda...



Poltergeist.  Or as my son used to call it - Poultrygeist.  The face peeling, the clown doll, the living steak and Zelda's "This house is clean."  Classic!  Of course, I have to watch it in conjunction with Poltergeist II.  "God is in his holy tem...ple."

The list goes on.  There's the original Halloween, Blair Witch, Nightmare Before Christmas and I might add Paranormal Activity to the list as well.  Then throw in every show about hauntings and staged haunted houses and I think we have it.  If you're wondering if I've forgotten Charlie Brown...no, I haven't.  I am probably one of the few people who can live without it.  I don't really care about the Great Pumpkin.

Happy Hauntings everyone!

october's educational post (here's someone you don't hear about very often...)

Ever heard of H. H. Holmes?

Eh...didn't think so.  Do the names Dahmer, Bundy, or Gacy ring a bell?  Well, add him to the list either by his given name, Herman Webster Mudgett, or by his alias.  This was one of America's first serial killers - convicted of 27 counts of murder in the first degree (though it is suspected he might have killed up to 230 people) between the years of 1888 and 1894 and the abundance of his murders were committed not far from me - Chicago.  The backdrop of his spree - The World's Columbian Exposition (better known as the 1893 World's Fair).

This guy wasn't just any old murderer - he built his own "Murder Castle."  He "inherited" a drugstore from a couple - the man died, the woman mysteriously disappeared - and Holmes decided to build a grand building across the street.  The first floor being his drugstore and various other shops, and he opened the rest as a hotel for those attending the nearby fair.  This was no ordinary hotel. Sealed rooms, gas chambers, secret passageways, doors leading to nowhere, chutes that went from bathrooms to the basement where a giant furnace, vats of acid and even a stretching rack were located.  He didn't just kill - he had fun with it.  Halfway through construction, he fired the crew and hired a new one so that nobody would learn too much about the building, get suspicious and go to the police. 

Before he started murdering people, he was a bigamist.  Apparently he had a way with the ladies.  Once he started his new life in Chicago, one of his lovers disappeared and he found another...actually many.  Funny thing is, many of them disappeared too.  His hotel employees were obligated to take out life insurance policies that Holmes would pay for, but also be the beneficiary of.  Guess what - employees disappeared too.  Most of his victims were his lovers, female hotel employees, and hotel guests.  A few men and children's bodies were found as well.   Many of the people were looking for a new life, had little family or were from places far away where it was difficult for family to come search for them.

His victims would suffer from the strangest forms of death.  Some were asphyxiated in their own well-sealed guest rooms by gas he would pump in through hoses. Some were sealed in a soundproof bank vault near his office where they would suffocate.  Others died of Holmes' badly-done abortion procedures.  After they were dead, some would be dissected and stripped of all muscle, becoming skeleton models then sold to medical schools.  Others were cremated or thrown into lime pits or even huge vats of acid.  He knew how to get rid of his evidence.

With the closing of the fair and bill collectors on his heels, Holmes decided to high-tail it out of Chicago and ended up in Texas, where he was going to build another...um...hotel, but he wasn't a fan of law enforcement down there.  He moved about for a while, probably killing a lot of other people as well, and then ended up in Philadelphia where he came up with another fine scheme...convince his associate to fake his own death and collect the life insurance money.  Except, of course, the person would end up dying anyway.  Holmes ended up convincing the dead man's wife (who had been convinced that her husband was in South America) to let three of their kids live with him.  There's a great role model for your kids! 

Holmes would lie to her about where they were staying when she would go looking for them.  She ended up hiring private investigators to find them, but unfortunately what they came up with was two decomposed bodies of children.  They finally tracked him down in Indianapolis in a nice little cottage he was renting.  In the chimney in that cottage, they found the ashes and teeth of the third child that had been travelling with him.  He ran again and was finally captured in Boston with his completely unsuspecting third wife.  I'm telling ya - ladies' man.

In 1894, a custodian at the castle ended up telling Chicago police that he was never allowed above the first floor of the building and that's when they decided to go investigating.  Over the next month, they searched the castle, found the secret rooms and means of disposal, but many of the bodies that were actually left were so decomposed or dismembered that they couldn't tell how many were actually there.  The castle ended up burning down due to a fire of "mysterious origin" in 1895.

What happened to Mr. Holmes?  Well, while he was in prison, he ended up making a deal with Hearst Newspapers for his confession.  He wrote his own story, and had it published.  His story did change over time though, first saying he was innocent, then toward the end of his time on this plane of existence saying he was possessed by the devil.  He was finally hanged on May 7, 1896...it was a slow death.  After that, he was buried in a concrete vault per his request so that nobody could dig up his body and dissect it the way he had done with so many others.

I had never heard of this man or the mass murders that took place in Chicago until I read a book about haunted Chicago of all things.  It made me investigate further and I ended up reading a book called "Devil in the White City" by Erik Larson.  His book weaved together the story of Holmes along with the World's Fair and those who made it happen.  It was really fascinating - sick - but fascinating.  The Columbian Exposition is another topic that interests me, so I might be writing something about that a little later on.  Such a huge to-do and barely anything remains...

Anyhoo...I hope you've been educated a little bit today.  I know it's not the happiest of subject matter, but it's just so dang odd that you never hear about this guy.

the ultimate road trip

Spring Break 2011.  Last year around tax time, we decided, "Next year we're going to take our returns and go to Disney World."  A great idea!  One that we had come up with the year before and had to scrap because we had to use the returns for other things.  And yes, this time around the same thing is going to happen.  We still want to have a good trip this year though - something memorable for all of us and less expensive than flying to Orlando, so we've come up with the idea of doing an old-fashioned road trip.

We all love the idea.  The only issue is that we can't figure out where we want to go.  My husband has never been in the ocean, my son has never seen the ocean or mountains, and I'd love to get them there.  That opens up a whole world of possibilities, right?  Now, cross off anything in the Gulf because - well - it's Spring Break.  Not really a family atmosphere, ya know?  Also cross off going anywhere where we would have to drive through the Rocky Mountains because it's the 3rd week in March and the weather is pretty unpredictable up there. Add a few factors in like we want to be sure that there are activities for all of us to enjoy, we don't camp and we're on a limited budget and it makes the decision a little harder.

Some ideas we have come up with are Washington D.C. (tons of free stuff to do and not terribly far from the ocean, but hotels are a little pricey), a tour of BBQ hotspots (pretty easy, but the kid would probably get bored and there would be no ocean and no mountains), Maine (because we want to eat lots of lobster but again, not much fun for the kid), and a little jaunt through the Smoky Mountains to the lower east coast and back, but we wouldn't know exactly where our destination would be.

Who knew this would be so difficult!  Anyone out there have any suggestions?

i have to agree with the sleep talkin' man

Please tell me you've checked out the Sleep Talkin' Man.  There's nothing like a good chuckle in the morning, and this site gives me plenty.  A wife blogs about the things that come out of her husband's mouth while he's sleeping.  Simple, yet hilarious.  There is "controversy" over whether or not this is actual sleep-talk or if the writers of the blog make it all up, but seriously - who cares?  These insane random thoughts are merged together so beautifully that it doesn't matter where they come from.  I've posted some of my favorite quotes below...

"That's the difference between you and me. Your heart is filled with hate, and mine is filled with kittens. Mmmm, kittens. Meow."

"I think I'll become a decimal point. Cause it's got the power to make things look small or big, all at the same time. I want to have such power. Mmmm, power."



"The world's just not as sparkly as you want it to be. We should all carry some glitter and add a little bit along the way."

"Pay homage to toast. Prostrate yourself in front of it: hot, crunchy bread slice thingy. We shall celebrate with tea! Iguana tea."


"I'm in a totally zen-like state… Can't you tell how fucking zen I am?!"


"No. Don't look up. They're in the trees. Those tree cows. They're a deadly shot. They'll get you in the eyes. Get them down with threats of violence. And a bucket of grass, of course."


"Ghostly froggies. A-hoppin' and a-haunting. Oooooh, ribbit. Oooooh, ribbit."


"(singing) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge. I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be-... You can fuck off to the back and sulk there. (singing again) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge.... Captain Bollocks! I shall be Captain Bollocks. On the good ship Scrotum. It's a small boat, but it'll pack a punch. We'll be able seamen in our boat, Scrotum."


"Yeah, you can find it on www.uselessfuckingpieceofcockshitesuckingtitfuck.com."

And the best one for us Wisconsinites:
"My badger's gonna unleash hell on your ass.  BADGERTASTIC!"

Hope you got a little chuckle out of these.  Seriously, follow this blog - it's a little piece of happy insanity every morning.

why is this surprising?

A couple of weeks ago, the media was abuzz with the story of the results of a survey conducted by the Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life.  This 32 question survey on religion was given to 3,412 randomly sampled adults across the country and the results were interesting, but in all honesty I wasn't surprised. 

Disclaimer:  Remember, this is my blog - therefore my opinion, so don't go getting all pissy... ;P

Do you have any interest in trying the quiz yourself?  You can find a shortened version here.  If you do want to try the quiz, I hughly suggest you take it before you continue reading this entry...I don't want to give anything away.

Done?

Good.

I'll continue...

Now the findings showed that in this cross-section of the US, the people who scored the highest were those who consider themselves Athiests/Agnostics with people of Mormon and Jewish faith coming in a close second and third. 

This was absolutely shocking to some people!  I don't really know why.  I have found that a good section of people who I have talkted to who consider themselves Christian (and according to the survey, two-thirds of Christians) - whether they attend church every week or not - have never read the Bible completely, or only read parts of it.  Sure, they know the stories of the Bible, they know the quotable verses, but rely on sermons and their own personal beliefs to keep their faith going.  Many were brought up that way and it's more a family tradition - it's how they were raised.  (Please don't accuse me of lumping all Christians in this group - I know of many who study the Bible intently as well.  I just know there are many who consider themselves Christian without a deep knowledge of the Bible)  That is what they know, what they believe, and they have no need to investigate any further.

Many Athiests and Agnostics were raised Christian, but because they felt they didn't really agree with what they were being told, decided to delve deeper into the religion, usually starting out by reading the Bible.  Honestly, that is where many people decide it's not for them, or that it's the perfect fit.  After many people come to that decision, they search for another religion that fits what they already believe.

The results make perfect sense to me.  Was it just the fact that WASPs weren't deemed the most intelligent about something?  I know that can get them pretty grouchy.  (Oh, simmer down - I joke.)

Here are some findings that I did find interesting as this takes a look at all answers on a whole, not by religious affiliation:

I know religion is a touchy subject, so I'm not going to go on about anything other than saying that the results of this survey make for some interesting reading.  Be you Mormon or Christian, or Buddhist or whatever...knowledge of the things and people around you is always a good thing as well.

Oh, my score on the online quiz?  15 out of 15.  What was yours?

september's educational post (what a pain in the leg)

With the exercise that I've been doing to try to lose weight (though in actuality it's only keeping off the weight that wants to come back), I've ended up hurting myself.  Big surprise - I know.  After a few months of intermittent jogging, I've developed shin splints.  Lucky me!  I can still do my walk, but as soon as I start running, these things flare up and start yelling at me, so I have to stop. 

I ended up doing a little research on the pesky condition and thought I'd share some of my results.

"Shin splints is a general medical term denoting medial tibial stress syndrome, a slow healing and painful condition in the shins, often caused by the stresses of running, jumping, dancing, sprinting, etc."

Symptoms of shin splints:

• Pain over the inside lower half of the shin.
• Pain at the start of exercise which often eases as the session continues
• Pain often returns after activity and may be at its worse the next morning.
• Sometimes some swelling.
• Lumps and bumps may be felt when feeling the inside of the shin bone.
• Pain when the toes or foot are bent downwards.
• A redness over the inside of the shin (not always present).

"Shin splints can be caused by overly tight muscles in the lower leg, including the calf muscles and the shin muscles. Stretching on a daily basis and even receiving sports massage can help improve flexibility."


A possible contributing cause of shin muscle pain is the relative weakness of the muscles on the front of the lower leg (the shin), compared to the relative strength of the calf muscles, at the back of the leg (the calf). Shin-muscle strengthening exercises are usually prescribed to correct for this muscle-strength imbalance. The shin pain caused by medial tibial stress syndrome (shin splints) usually lasts some ten (10) days, the pain slowly diminishing as the muscle-strength imbalance is corrected. The shin pain is attributed to a forced extension of the muscle, by the opposing calf muscles."

"Treatment for shin splints is as simple as reducing pain and inflammation, identifying training and biomechanical problems which may have helped cause the injury initially, restoring muscles to their original condition and gradually returning to training."

What can the athlete do about shin splints?

• Rest to allow the injury to heal.
• Apply ice or cold therapy in the early stages, particularly when it is very painful. Cold therapy reduces pain and inflammation.
• Stretch the muscles of the lower leg. In particular the tibialis posterior which is associated with shin splints.
• Wear shock absorbing insoles in shoes. This helps reduce the shock on the lower leg.
• Maintain fitness with other non weight bearing exercises such as swimming, cycling or running in water.
• Apply heat and use a heat retainer or shin and calf support after the initial acute stage and particularly before training. This can provide support and compression to the lower leg helping to reduce the strain on the muscles. It will also retain the natural heat which causes blood vessels to dilate and increases the flow of blood to the tissues to aid healing.
• Visit a sports injury clinic for treatment and rehabilitation.

"In order to properly treat shin splints and prevent them recurring, the causative factors must be taken into consideration. No matter how much rest, anti-inflammatories and massage are used, without correcting the cause of the injury, the symptoms will continue to return.


Biomechanical problems such as overpronation and supination can be corrected using running shoes or insoles (or orthotics). Ensuring shoes/trainers are suitable your foot type and for the activity in question.

For runners, try to avoid always running on hard pavements as they provide no shock absorption. Try running some of the time on tarmac, grass or even sand to reduce the shock passed through the legs."

Okay, so I completely copied and pasted from Wikipedia and SportsInjuryClinic.net, but I''m not very creative when it comes to explaining medical conditions.


Looks like my crappy shoes from Wal-Mart that are old and falling apart aren't doing me any good.  Unfortunately I don't have the funds to go out and buy myself a good pair of shoes.  At least I walk/run on a gravel trail and not on the sidewalk.  I learned that trick a long time ago.  Guess I'll just have to nurse these babies for a little while, start stretching, get back into it and see what happens. 

what the hell is this?

I was doing an innocent search in YouTube to see if I could find a clip from Willow to send to my friend and I came across this:



The song about Willow doesn't even start until 2 minutes into it.  I think I might have found my Halloween costume for the year!  Then again, maybe I'll pass...

not the "typical" female

I might be a female, but...

I do not enjoy chick flicks.  They're formula, sappy, unrealistic and boring.

I do not attend any book clubs.  I read books of my own choosing - some new, some old, both fiction and non-fiction.  And while we're on the subject,

I also do not read the latest trendy book series, romance novels, young adult books or hottest vampire series.

I do not bake.  I have tried, but I just can't do it if it's not from a box.  I can cook just fine, but don't expect me to mix flour, sugar, butter and a few other things together and come up with anything remotely edible.

I do not watch Lifetime.  I think the only time I ever did was to watch a few episodes of the Golden Girls back before it was on 24/7.

I don't watch Sex & the City, drinking cosmos and dreaming of living that life.  I tried watching the show once, and it was just nothing like me, so that was the one and only shot.  I've never had a cosmo - nor do I care to.  If someone orders one for me, sure, but you'll never hear me say, "Hey girls, let's get together for gossip and cosmos!" 

I don't blow my money on the latest styles, designer labels, latest trends or dozens of shoes.  I am a clearance sale shopper when I finally get the money to spend on myself.  The clothing I do buy is classic so it can last.  Very rarely do I buy something that is trendy - but, I don't look dowdy or frumpy.

I detest Oprah....and her "followers"  I just don't understand why people will buy luxury items, read specific books and behave a certain way because one woman tells them to.  It's scary - a whole subculture of upper-middle class to upper class female drones.

I do not scrapbook.  I do not need to embellish memories of things that happened by adding colorful papers and stickers.  My pictures are either framed on the wall, in full albums or in (somewhat organized) boxes.

I do not go ga-ga over babies.  Don't get me wrong, I don't dislike them, but I don't feel the need to touch, hold, cuddle, smell or talk to every baby around me.  Don't take it as an insult, I'm sure it's very cute, but it's not something I'm compelled to do.

Not that there's anything wrong with females who like the things that I dislike...

Having said all of this, I am by all means a woman.  Curvy in all the right places (and a few extra curves that I'm working on getting rid of), looks damn good in a skirt, devoted mother, wife and daughter, enjoys the company of men, does her best to bring home the bacon and keep her family going, balances work and family with a little time for herself, loves having fun, learning new things, and reminiscing about the past.  I can go from exercising to finding my husband's lost screwdriver to meditating to playing Mortal Kombat with my son to cooking dinner without hesitation.  I won't play games unless we're both playing for fun, I don't enjoy crying, so I won't use it to make you feel sorry for me, and I won't bite unless you want me to.  ;)

I am not the stereotypical female, I am a woman.  And dang happy with it.

when the wall comes down

I am usually a very positive person.  Our circumstances in life aren't always perfectly ideal, we don't have much, but we are happy to have each other and are thankful for the things we do have.  Sometimes, though it just hits me and I get very sad.  The wall that I put up to help block out the negative comes crashing down and my mood goes along with it.  Today was one of those days.  I broke down.  I let the fact that I spent a little more money than I wanted to on groceries get to me and I couldn't control my sobbing.  Whoa.  Thankfully that doesn't happen to me very often.  I just forget that I'm human and have emotions that I may not want to show from time to time.  If I let them build and build like that, they're bound to overflow - for what seems like no reason at all.

I got through it quickly.  Still not happy that I broke, but it happens.  Just have to keep reminding myself that we are still happy, we're okay, we have a great family, and not let the little things get to me.

the dime store

In the days before the Dollar store, we had the Dime Store.  Those who came before us called it the Five and Dime.

The dime store was downtown within walking distance (or even a bike ride) to home and when you had a little extra allowance money, you couldn't wait to get there and choose from the vast array of goodies they had on their two levels of bliss.  Here's a compilation of some of my favorite dime store items:

Smarties Pops ruled!  

If I remember correctly, they were only 10 cents a piece, so I'd stock up.

Big League Chew

I'm sure I wasn't the only one who attempted to fit the whole packet's worth of shredded gum into my mouth...and failed.  Talk about a sugar rush!

Garbage Pail Kids

I spent quite a bit on these things.  Unfortunately, I never found one with my name.  

 Halloween Costumes

When Halloween rolled around, there would be aisles and aisles (okay, maybe it just seemed that way to a kid in grade school) of costumes in boxes.  Plastic masks and smock-type clothes coverings that somehow was both the costume and the answer to the question, "Who are you today?"  (I happened to have that Leia costume on the right)

Chirping Christmas Ornaments

I always felt sorry for the poor employees who had to sit there and listen to 5-10 of these things going off constantly.  Christmas was full of chirping plastic ornaments, silver tinsel, bad artificial trees, lights, and...ugh...all I can hear are those dang ornaments!

Garanimals

You'd never have to worry about mismatching your clothes as long as your animals matched.  How could life be any more simple?

Grandma Clothes

It was a wonderful world of polyester and boy did my grandma love it!

What about you?  Do you have any favorites that I might have missed?