my christmas list

With everyone strapped for cash this year, I won't be getting any presents.  It's about the giving, not the receiving...I know, I know...and it's true.  I suppose everything I want would be above and beyond what any normal person would be able to afford though anyway.  If I could make a Christmas list for my imaginary millionaire boyfriend, it would go something like this:

1. Clothes.  Please someone buy me clothes that actually fit me.  I'm so tired of looking like I have no ass because my pants are halfway hanging off of me.  I'm sick of pulling my bra straps back up.  I would like to have clothes with no holes, no ripped seams, that I don't swim in and that actually make me look and feel good. (This does include shoes as well.  Mine are starting to go kaput)
2. Vacations.  I want to travel.  I'm feeling trapped right now - I wanna spread my wings and flyyyy.  I want vacations with the family, vacations with the hubby only and vacations by myself.  Where?  Oh, I'm not picky.  At this point, I'll go anywhere.
3. Better Health Insurance.  I'd love it if someone paid for our health insurance so we could get some decent coverage.  The insurance we have right now is crap and barely covers anything, but it's what we can afford to have taken out of my paycheck.  I'd love to actually go to the doctor when I probably should and not put things off until they get really bad.
4. Gift Cards to Restaurants.  When going to Taco Bell for lunch is a big treat, you know you gotta get out more.
5. Quality Cookware.  I'm tired of having to buy new pans every other year.  I didn't know this stuff was supposed to be disposable.
6. A Personal Trainer.  I need someone to whip me into shape.  (Oh, there are so many places I could go with that...)  I need to be told what I need to do and what to eat to get me where I want to be physically.  I'm getting there, but need assistance sil vous plait.
7. A New Car with No Payments.  See.  That's the catch.  We could get another new car, but we just couldn't afford that second payment.  We have one new one, but the other one is getting to be pretty unstable.  Two perfectly working automobiles would be very helpful.
8. A Monthly Allowance.  So I can quit my job of course. 

See - I'm not a materialistic person.  I just need things replaced or things to help maintain sanity.  Wait, maybe if I get the millionaire boyfriend for Christmas, everything else would be taken care of.  Christmas list revised:

1. Millionaire Boyfriend.  Preferably around my age, somewhat attractive, doesn't mind me spending most of my time with my husband and son...

Yup - that's much easier.