giving the gift of compassion

I don't have a lot of money to give gifts this year.  (Heck, I never have money for gift-giving, what am I talking about?) I did come up with the perfect gift for quite a few people though, and I wish it was possible.  I'd love to give them the ability to be compassionate human beings.  I'm encountering into more and more people who seem to be lacking it.

Some of my gifts of compassion would go to the following people:

Our General Manager:  One of my co-workers told him that she hasn't been able to sleep because she's stressed over our the increase in the cost of our health insurance.  She doesn't know if she can continue to pay for the insurance that will now cost her $75 more per paycheck while it covers less, or if she'll have to drop down to the mini-insurance that is more affordable but only somewhat helpful in emergencies, and hope that she and her son stay healthy.  His response was, "Well, you had the chance to voice your opinion when you voted in November."

People Who Turn Any News Story Into An Excuse To Spew Hateful Words To Other People:  Of course, the current point would be the mass-killing in Connecticut.  It didn't even take a full day before all of the political finger pointing and name calling ensued.  Some of the things I read broke my heart apart into even smaller slivers than it already was - especially when it came from people who I at some point considered to be friends. No listening, no reasoning, no solutions, just hate for anyone who doesn't think the same way as they do.  And speaking of...

The Westboro Baptist Church:  I don't think I need to elaborate on that one.

The Mother At The Band Concert:  She had a child who was talking somewhat loudly at the beginning of my son's middle school band concert.  Because the child was wearing a padded helmet, I'm guessing that she probably has special needs of some sort and possibly isn't very good at controlling her volume.  Instead of taking the child out of the room to let off a little steam, she proceeded to swear at her, telling her to "Shut the fuck up" and keep her "goddamn mouth shut because the concert was starting" and we "didn't want to listen to her shit" in a volume that was two times as loud as the child's.  I understand that all of us parents have our moments of weakness, (gods know I have), but sometimes you can just tell when it's a common occurrence.

Myself:  I usually think of myself as a compassionate person, but there are times I know I'm lacking it, especially when dealing with the people I've already listed.  It's not something I'm proud of, but I know it and am working on it. 

Since we can't actually give the ability to be compassionate as a gift, we need to be the compassionate ones and lead by example or fill the gaps left by those who are lacking.  It's the best we can do for everyone.

dissecting a christmas "classic"

The year was 1984.

I was 9 and in 4th grade.

There was major famine in Ethiopia.  (Coincidentally, I had just been part of a "school Olympics" team and we had picked the country of Ethiopia out of a hat to represent.  I never made the connection.  My blond hair, blue eyes and extremely pale skin did not really represent Ethiopia well.)

A couple of people had the idea to get a huge group of celebrities together and do a song to help raise money for famine relief. 

The group was called Band Aid, and the song - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"




A wonderful cause to get behind.  All of those famous people. (Um, did anyone tell Bananarama that they were filming a video? Way to dress for the occasion.)  Wow! 

But let's take a moment and look at those lyrics, shall we?

"We let in light and we banish shade."
Isn't the light and the lack of shade one of the problems?  They needed shade...clouds...RAIN!  Don't banish the one thing that might help them.

"Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time."
This was 1984...the Reagan era.  I think we had plenty of arms around the world...year-round.

Then we get melodramatic:
"...And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."
Clanging chimes of doom?  When doom comes, is it accompanied by chimes?  Is there a constant clanging going on in the plains of Africa?  I get it - it's supposed to be poetic, but it's a stretch.  Personally, I'd rather have the Doom Song sung by Gir...



Then enter awesome Bono solo.  Everybody sing along....
"Well tonight thank God it's them instead of youuuuuuuu!"

"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
Well no shit, Sherlock.  First-off,  Ethiopia itself lies between latitudes 3° and 15°N.  (Okay, I had to look up those actual numbers) This means it's just north of the equator.  Its altitudes aren't extremely high, so this means no snow.  Secondly, the rest of Africa, which is now being lumped as a whole in the song, is quite large and though they might get some snow in Morocco waaaayyyy up in the mountains around Christmas,  the countries south of the equator are just beginning summer in December.  If they get snow in South Africa - it will be in August.  Didn't you pay attention in school?

"Do they know it's Christmastime at all?"
Actually, they celebrate Christmas in January.  And it's not called Christmas, it's called Ganna.  And it's not about gift-giving.  You can read more about it here.

Ah well, it still raised a whole-lotta money for a good cause.  I still listen to it every year...and chuckle...and sing along with Bono.

a heaping pile of holiday cheer

We finally bit the bullet and decided to start decorating our apartment for Christmas today.  It's never an easy task.  We don't even have that much to display - one box of decorations, one tree and the lights/decorations for that tree.  That's it.  But getting those few things out are the makings of WWIII in this house.

It starts with the young one.  He would rather not be bothered with it.  There are video games to be played and movies to watch instead.  Decorating is so boring.  "Why can't you just do it?"

Then there's the husband who knows that the tree will frustrate him to no end.  Undoubtedly, at least one string of lights on the pre-lit tree will be out, then after two hours of changing fuses and wiggling bulbs around and having them miraculously pop on for no reason, the branches will still have to be fluffed creating dust clouds that induce sneezing for another three hours while we try to distribute our ancient ornaments evenly amongst the rayon "needles."  "We don't have to worry about Santa anymore.  Can't we just get a table-top tree?"

Don't these guys know the way decorating is supposed to go?  We're supposed to put on sweaters, drink egg nog, listen to our favorite Christmas carols (while singing along, of course), and hang the stockings by the chimney with care with tons of love in our hearts and big freaking smiles on our faces, dammit!

Do they look happy or what?

After opting out of the cable holiday music channel when they started playing cheesy Vanessa Williams versions of songs, we put on A Christmas Story, and brought up the boxes, cracked open the store-bought egg nog and got to work.  The hubster commenced assembling the tree while the son and I started unloading the box of assorted wall and shelf decor.

Deck the halls with boughs of holly.  Fa la la la la la la la la...

It didn't take long before the kid was sitting on the couch watching the movie.  I'd give him something else to put somewhere, he'd do it and then sit right back down again.  Soon after that, a deep growling noise came from the tree area.  It wasn't either of our dogs, no, it was my husband.  He had plugged in the tree and, as expected, half of the lights weren't lit.  I tried calming him down with suggestions of simple things like looking for plugs that weren't plugged in or checking for loose bulbs, but he didn't seem to appreciate my help.


I backed away slowly and resumed forcing the kid to help me with the other stuff, but it didn't last long because mere minutes later, dearest hubby was yelling at the lights.  His large fingers couldn't grab the tiny fuses that he was trying to take out of the plugs.  I helped him with those and got up to find the kid back on the couch.  Hubster got up to find more fuses, but couldn't.  That went over well.  He went across town to buy fuses and/or lights and left us to continue with the rest.   Most of my time was spent getting the kid to keep moving, but somehow we got things taken care of before he got back home, fuses in hand, swearing he's never going out there again.

'Tis the season to be jolly.  Fa la la la la la la la la...

He replaced the fuses in one string of lights and they popped on.  Success!  This should work for all of them, right?

Wrong.

After a few more tries and a few more choice words for the lights, he decided to give up before tearing the whole thing apart with his bare hands.  "That's it!  We're getting a new f---ing tree!"  Looking at the kid on the couch, and the steam coming out of hubby's ears, I conceded.


Fa la la la la la la la...oh forget it.

Of course, we can't afford a new tree until next week, so we sit with a big hole in the living room where the tree's supposed to go, and blood pressure levels that have skyrocketed.  At least we have one festive and very important area of our home...the "bar"

I have a feeling it's going to get a lot of use this holiday season.

Oh, and next year, I'm just going to handle the decorating on my own.  And I'll be wearing a holiday sweater, listening to John Denver & the Muppets sing Christmas songs, and smiling.

Fa la FREAKING la!

gettin' in the mood

The mood for Christmas, people.  Sheesh!  I'm having a hard time realizing that Christmas is only 12 days away and that I should be singing Christmas songs and chugging egg nog.  I'm just not feelin' it yet.  I thought maybe if I post some of my favorite holiday songs on here, I can start humming along.

"Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas" - the version Judy Garland sings in Meet Me In St. Louis.  The lyrics are just a little bit different because the family is just about to move from their long-time home, but they're better.  "Until then, we'll have to muddle through somehow," makes me cry every time.



"When the River Meets the Sea" is a classic from the Muppets in two different forms.  First, it was on the classic album A Christmas Together - John Denver & The Muppets and then showed up again in Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas.  Both versions are beautiful and need to be played over and over.



"Ave Maria" - Harry Connick Jr's version.  I don't know why I like this version so much better than the other 3 million out there, but I just love it!  (I do have to apologize that this is the only video of the song I've been able to find.  Just close your eyes and listen)



"Little Drummer Boy/Peace on Earth" by David Bowie and Bing Crosby.  This has got to be one of the oddest pairings in music history, but somehow it worked. 



"White Christmas" I have to hear two different versions of this song every year - The original Bing Crosby version and this one by the Drifters.



"Happy Christmas (War Is Over)"  Yes, it's never going to be that easy, and John could be quite idealistic, but it's a great song.  I think listening to Yoko warble in the background with the kids is my favorite part.



"Do They Know It's Christmas" by that one time conglomerate group...Band Aid.  It was a noble idea, but it's also a ridiculous song.  "There won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."  Really?  I think I have to listen to it every year just to chuckle.  And then I have to watch the parade of bad hair in the video.



Okay, that's a start anyway.  I'll have to think on this a little more and maybe add a Part 2 a little later.