morning music

The three of us like to listen to music in the mornings as we're getting ready for our day.  There's usually one point in the mornings where we're all in separate rooms listening to our own music.  I had to laugh when I realized what different playlists we were listening to.

Bathroom 1:  The hubby.  90's "alternative"

Bathroom 2: The son.  An odd mix of video game soundtracks, eminem, and current rock

Kitchen:  Me. Gypsy jazz manouche with a little Edith Piaf thrown in

 

Now, play all three of these at the same time, and you have a morning in the life of us.  (Our neighbors must love us.)

this is your brain on chemo

Well, chemo brain has kicked in.  It isn't constant, but at the end of the last 2 cycles, I've been hit with it for a couple of days.  (Therefore, if my sentence structure doesn't always make sense here, please don't hold it against me.)



Let me give you a snapshot of how my brain is (not) functioning.



Get to work.

Turn on computer, music, digital photo frame

Open email

Stare blankly at email for 2 minutes

Realize I'm staring blankly at email and begin running Monday morning reports

Pause music to go to printer and get reports

Bring reports back to office

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The internet is boring.

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Ooh - I should read up on Captain America now that I've seen it.

Commence reading

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Remember I'm at work, it's Monday, and I have reports to do.

Commence working on reports

Realize halfway through that I'm entering the wrong numbers

Shit

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Okay, what was I doing?

Redo reports using correct numbers, brain functioning at 100%, all is well.

Finish reports, double-checking information, speedy and efficient as always.

Compose email to boss:

The reports weekly are attached.

no...delete

The resports weekly are attached.

Crap!  No!  delete...

Your weekly reports...

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shit!

...are attached.

Send email without attachment.

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Remember I was listening to music before and start it up again.

Start doing other work. spot on, brain working at full capacity.

Receive email from boss looking for attachment.

Oh, for fuck's sake!

Hit reply

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Attach reports and send.

eight legs o' love - addendum

The only time I ever hit the "Subscribe" button on YouTube was when I found this guy: Ze Frank.  He's just posted his latest True Facts video, and guess what it's about this time?  Yay!

If you've never checked out these videos before, I highly recommend them...just not around your kids.

lost voice

I have always been a notorious car singer.  As long as I've been driving, I've been singing along to just about everything.  Well, that's when I'm alone in the car anyway.  I'm shy.

As I was driving to work this morning, I realized I was sitting there in silence.  I had music blasting as I always do, there were songs that I'd usually sing along with, and I just sat there stone-faced.  And then I realized I couldn't remember the last time I sang anything.

Singing has always been my release, my way of expressing happiness, of getting over anger, of working through my nerves, and the car has always been the one place I can do it in peace.  It's just natural for me.

This lack of singing seems to say quite a bit about how I'm doing.  What it means, I don't know, but it must mean something, right?  Things are awry.  I am not my normal self.

I need to find my voice again.