holiday cheer

Hello friends!  Sorry I haven't been posting very much lately.  I actually started quite a few posts, but deleted them once I read how terribly grumpy I sounded.  I sounded a lot like this guy:

I'm also in the process of writing an epic post about something that's been going on with me recently.  It takes away from my posts about fun things, but I think it's kind of important.  You'll be getting that one within the next couple of weeks.

Anyway, I thought I'd take a moment and spread a little holiday cheer - my style.

So I hope your halls are decked, you're making yourself fat with all the cookies you're eating, and you are able to hold everything together for just a couple more days.

The stress will all be over soon.

Fa la la la la....la la la laaaaaa!

wisdom highlights, dammit!

Middle school band concert.

My husband and I sat in the bleachers mentally preparing for the next hour of 6th through 8th graders with loud instruments searching for tempo, correct notes, and some sort of melody, while at the same time restraining ourselves from strapping down the young children who thought stomping up and down the bleachers and making as much noise as possible was a great way to kill time.  

Darling hubby turns to me, under the harsh glow of the florescent lights, smiles lovingly and says, "I love seeing all the grey hairs you have." 

Yes, I know I'm getting older and I've seen a few greys here and there and I don't pull my hair back in public anymore because they tend to stick out like a sore thumb when I do, and I've noticed more and more in my hairbrush, but, but...  I'm blonde and they're like highlights, right?

Right!  Wisdom highlights!  I'm older and getting wiser.  Yes, it says so on Pinterest, so it has to be true.

"I think it's time you bite the bullet and start coloring your hair."*  And with that, the 6th grade band began.  I picked my jaw up from off of the bleacher in front of me and sat there, wide-eyed, trying to look interested in whatever it was supposed to be that they were playing, while obsessing about how many other people were looking at my head, thinking I'm much older than I am, wanting to put my jacket back on and hide my hair in the hood.

Crap.

*Please note my hubby isn't being mean or judgmental.  He knows how I feel about this stuff and knows I've been trying to hold off as long as possible and apparently I can't put it off any longer.

I didn't want to have to start spending money on that.  I mean, I'll have to do it myself so it will be cheaper, but it takes maintenance and upkeep - things I don't like to bother with.  And I'll have to find the right color.  Ugh!  Finding the right color isn't easy.  Do I stick with my natural color?  Do I go a little different and pretend I'm a new person?  I could fail miserably and look like a washed out old starlet or a total goth, depending on the route I took.  Maybe I should just say screw it and color it all grey so I can match my mother and get it over with.

Oh the stress of vanity and ego!  I need a stylist to figure this out for me.  Too many other things to think about right now.  I'll think about it tomorrow.

the blerch

This is the Blerch:

This little annoying guy was created by Matthew Inman over at The Oatmeal.  He stands for everything that I fight with when I know I should make better life choices or pushing myself further, but find myself caving or giving up. 

Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, take a look at this and you'll read all about him.

The Terrible & Wonderful Reasons Why I Run Long Distances

Now, I don't run long distances, but I deal with The Blerch on a daily basis.  This panel shows you what he says to me almost every morning:

 

I started agreeing with him more and more.  I used to get up every morning at 5:15am, walk into our spare room (sometimes when the temp was in the 50's in there) and have Shawn T kick my butt either with Insanity or Focus T25, and then meditate for a little while.  But it got easier and easier for me to listen to the chubby winged deceiver and I would sleep in more and more.  Bed is cozy. I am old. I didn't get as much sleep the night before as I wanted to.  You see the pattern.

That ended today.  (Well, okay, it would have ended today if I had turned on the proper alarm - but I still ran a mile.  That's something, right?)  The hubby and I are starting...again.  Low carb, no refined white stuff, exercising religiously, and becoming healthier people.  Again.  We did it once, the Blerch won us over, we can do it again.

I have 20 pounds that I want to melt away.  I will not obsess with my weight, but I will obsess about making the right choices.  These choices will make the weight go away on its own.  Getting up in the morning like I know I should.  Not eating that piece of cake in the cafeteria that's probably hard and stale, but still there so I eat it anyway.  Staying away from the vending machine and it's never ending supply of Gardettos. 

I know I've written posts about this numerous times before, and the fact that I have to continue writing the same thing over and over is very disappointing to me.  I've disappointed myself and that just will not do. 

I've made The Blerch my profile picture on Facebook, stuck his picture in my fridge and put the panel you see above on my phone so it's the first thing I see in the morning.  I will not cave in to this guy any more, dang it. 

turkey day

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching.  Again.  Already.

Really I've never been the biggest fan of the holiday.  I mean, turkey is okay, rolls and butter and gravy are awesome. Don't really care about cranberry sauce or stuffing, so I don't really eat that much.  We still live in the same town as our families, so it's not like we never see them or have dinner together.  It would be different if it was the one day of the year when family from near and far would get together, but that's just not the case with my us.

When I was younger, I'd wake up, watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade (too young to be put off by the bad lip syncing and sometimes actually excited by the people who were on the floats) we would hope for good TV marathons since our family didn't watch football, and around actual dinner time, the three (or sometimes 4-5) of us would have our turkey dinner, and that would be it.

I got a little older and at least we were given a day of awesome movies to watch.  The family would sit and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000's Turkey Day Marathon on Comedy Central every year.

Awesome side note here:  The Turkey Day Marathon is returning this year!  Granted it's online and not quite as long, but it's back!  Read more about it here.  I was sure to give Joel my suggestion (which he retweeted...geek squee!).  

@JoelGHodgson I think it would be appropriate to watch Giant Spider Invasion after watching the Thanksgiving Packer game, don't you? — Rebecca (@GoddessR_75) November 19, 2013

These days, between running between the two families' turkey dinners, our annual tradition is watching Home for the Holidays and the Thanksgiving program from Addams Family Values.

 

Well, this year we're going to change it up a bit.  We're going to be spending a good part of the day volunteering with one of the local clubs serving Thanksgiving dinner to people who don't have the money to make dinner of their own or don't have anyone to have dinner with.  This is something we've all wanted to do. Something to make the day special for us as a family by making the day more special for other people in the community.

 

And then we'll come home and watch the Turkey Day Marathon.  'Cause that's how we roll. 

 

Mmmm...rolls.

 

 

friday dance party

There are some Fridays where you just have to turn on the disco station on Pandora and shake your booty along with the music.  Join me, won't you?

 

 

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

 

the horror of filing

I have had this stack of files in front of me for two hours.

There are many things that are listed in that "and other tasks as assigned by your supervisor" line of my job description that I don't enjoy, but this has to be my least favorite task of them all. 

Because nobody else wants to touch these things, they pile up on top of a file cabinet that is located just outside my office window and as the pile grows, I find myself glaring at them.  I'll walk past them, thinking I should really do something about them, and then decide against it.

It's a lot like that scene in Pee-Wee's Big Adventure when the pet store is on fire and Pee-Wee runs in to save all of the animals.  They keep showing him going past the aquarium full of snakes and he looks at it like this:

He frees the monkeys, the dogs, the rats, takes the time to put the goldfish in bowls and runs them out...and then eventually those snakes are the only thing left and there's nothing he can do but take care of them.

 

 

Yep.  That's me and filing.

 

 

reason #5431 as to why i love my husband

This morning I got a message from my dear hubby with a link along with the intriguing wording:

With this you can get Matthews :) or Hemsworth for that matter.

And when I clicked the link, this headline popped up:



You need to see this hoodie. Via Topless Robot - no, it's not porn.

Back off ladies, he's all mine.

P.S. If you don't know He-Man, you won't get this at all...

fangirling

For my husband's 40th birthday, the whole family got together and made a dream of his come true - he was going to go see the Green Bay Packers play at Lambeau Field.  He was a kind husband and decided to bring me along to live the dream with him.  What a nice guy.

It was a great experience: the tailgating, the camaraderie, the look on my husband's face when he saw the stadium.  I couldn't stop smiling because I could see just how happy he was.  We entered the stadium and found our seats and were amazed at how close everything was.  When you see a game on TV, it looks like everything is so huge and so far away, but that's not the case at all.  Again - he was in total awe.

The teams warmed up on the field and exited so they could begin the introductions of the players.  It was pretty dang cool.  The bulk of the team ran out at once, and then they started introducing the more well-known members one by one.  It was then that I got kind of bummed because my dear Clay Matthews was out with an injury and may or may not be there to watch from the sidelines.  I hadn't seen him during warm-ups and there was no sign of him yet, so I kind of doubted I'd luck out.  *sigh*

The team takes the field.

But then, somewhere in-between Josh Sitton and not long before Aaron Rodgers, I noticed there was one person walking out onto the field who caught my eye.  He stepped out alone, unnoticed, wearing a blue warm-up suit, hood up over his head, and walked to the sideline.  There was something familiar about him, the broad shoulders, the walk, I knew who it was right away.  It was Clay.

I violently shook nudged my hubby and said, "It's Clay!  I found him!  Look. That guy there - walking onto the field!" and pointed right at him, but he had no clue who I was talking about and looked at me like I was slightly mental.  Frustrated, I completely ignored the odd looks he was giving me and went back to watching the man who I knew was the injured Mr. Matthews.  He walked over to Kevin Greene who just happens to be Clay's coach, who gave him a hearty slap on the shoulder.  Oh yes, this was him.

I had very few doubts about it, but because the rain was falling and it was in the lower 40's, I probably wouldn't have any definitive proof because he would keep that hood up all afternoon and there would be no blond hair to be seen.  But there was one little thing I forgot...The National Anthem.  Everyone please stand and remove your hats for the singing of our National Anthem.  No hats = no hoods.

It's him!  It's him! Ohmygodohmygodohmygod!

Somehow my brain became that of a teenage girl and I could see myself jumping up and down, wanting to leave my husband in the stands, run down onto the sideline which was conveniently right in front of me and make a complete fool out of myself asking for an orgasm autograph or something (because in my alternate reality, I wouldn't be arrested as soon as I stepped foot on the field).  Of course, a more mature, sane head prevailed and I kept it all inside.

Of course, that's not to say that I didn't glance down at the sidelines from time to time to see where he was and what he was doing.  He spent a lot of time looking right at me at the huge scoreboard over our heads, so even though the hood was back up, it was easy to find him...over and over again.

What?  I'm not obsessed.

I think if we were able to get to more games I'd get past the fangirling, right?  Possibly?  Maybe?  I guess we'll never know since the tickets are extremely expensive and the venue is almost 3 hours away.  Unless someone out there is willing to send me to "therapy".  Season tickets and limo service, anyone?  I'll try to get better...really!

send in the clowns

Coulrophobia: The fear of clowns.

I'm trying to figure out why so many people hate clowns these days.  Is it because they weren't brought up on the Bozo Show?  Geez, I'd watch it every single morning before I went to elementary school.  Bozo wasn't creepy - he was a bit of a smart ass.  Cooky wasn't creepy - he was awesome and just as much a smart ass.  The only one who was creepy was Wizzo the Wizard.  Dooo-dee-doo-dee-doo!  Really?  He was the least clown-like of them all and he was just icky.  I always got a "bad touch" vibe from that one.  (Nothing against Marshall Brodien who played Wizzo - I'm sure he's a very nice man.  But just look at this character...)



 

Wizzo's gonna get ya!



Maybe I'm just not that creeped out by them because I happened to grow up in the 19th Century Circus Capital of America. WooHoo!

Oy.

Clowns and circus stuff were everywhere.  It was commonplace.  Our Octoberfest (or was it Oktoberfest?) celebration didn't have a German beer and pretzel theme, it was clown themed.  Admission buttons featured Festy the Clown and on one day after school every year, we would stand in line for hours in our school gym to have our faces painted like the tiny angelic clowns we were and then they'd let us loose on the fest.  People with coulrophobia would not have lasted long in our town.

 

The huge clown-a-palooza came in the late 80's when the International Clown Hall of Fame opened its doors in town.  I shit you not.  In celebration of this, the town went a little more off of its circus rocker.  It erected not one, but two fiberglass statues in a park on the main street downtown.  One of a giraffe and one of an elephant and - you guessed it - a clown.

 

I know I have many pictures of this thing, but of course I can't find them now.
Pic via wikimedia commons

 

The town also replaced all of its downtown garbage cans with huge, large-mouthed clowns.  Because it's more fun to throw away your garbage with the fear of having your arm bitten off. 

This isn't from our town, but it is identical to the ones we had.

I think it was around this same time, or not long after, that Stephen King's IT hit television screens across the nation and gave us Tim Curry's Pennywise.

Ack!  Okay, me no likey.

Honestly, I didn't watch it until I was an adult, but I can see how this changed clowns for.ev.er.

  Well, him and John Wayne Gacy.

Thankfully the Clown Hall of Fame moved away from town (to an even more circus-centric town in the state) and much of the three-ring hooplah went with it.  Of course, our lovely statues still stand for children to have their pictures taken on.  Otherwise we're virtually clown-free!

So that's my history with clowns.  I suppose not many other people would have the same backstory.

As for the state of clowning today, things are looking pretty grim.  Kids now scream and cry when they see them instead of laughing and wanting to play.  NPR actually did a story on it, based on an article in Smithsonian Magazine, that's pretty interesting.  I recommend catching it here.  I think it goes a little too far back into the history that kids have no clue about, but it's still an interesting take.

Just recently, a mysterious clown had been spotted popping up all over Northampton and scaring the begeezus out of people.  He was just unmasked and talked about the death threats he was getting.  A clown.  Getting death threats.  Keep calm, people!

From the Spot the Northampton Clown Facebook page.

All in all, I'm not a fan of clowns, but I'm not creeped out by them either...well, except for Pennywise.  They're silly, not terribly funny, but they're out to make kids laugh and that's not a bad thing, right?  In the long run, I prefer clowns in makeup over the clowns we have running the government.

Ohhhh...did she just go there?  Yes.  Yes she did...

 

 

 

 

guess who's back

Remember a few months ago when I finally deactivated my Facebook account?  Well, I'm back on.  But not because I just couldn't stay away.  In fact, I kind of liked it. 

If you'll remember, at the end of my post I said I'd only end up going back if I had something I had to share with a couple hundred people at once or if I had to keep up with something and that was the only medium in which to do it.  Well, both of those things are happening, so I reactivated my account over the weekend. 

When I logged back in, I went back over the past couple days' news feed and saw that absolutely nothing had changed.  People were still making mountains out of molehills, jumping on bandwagons, and using the newsfeed as a cookbook.  *sigh*  When you've been away from it for a while and go back in, it looks even sillier.  Ah, well.  I guess it was only a couple of months.  What did I expect?

I won't be back on in the same capacity as before.  I only plan on checking the site once or twice a day.  It's basically a means of communication, especially when so many people don't respond to emails.  (What the heck, people?)  I do thank those few friends I did hear from during my time away.  And I do look forward to having contact with more of my friends again.

SO, yeah...

re-entry

Bad morning this morning.  I woke up at 5:30 am and my brain got away from me.  I do my best to keep a positive outlook on things, but sometimes the flames of worst-case scenario scorch me.

It's like...remember the movie SpaceCamp?  You know, the one with Marty McFly's mom, Tish (who I believe was Ke$ha's fashion inspiration), Willie from Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, the gay nerd from Revenge of the Nerds, the guy who was the voice of Hercules, Tom Skerritt (because he was in everything) and Joaquin Phoenix back when he was still little Leaf?  Anyway...remember when they were coming in for a landing and they had to be sure they kept the shuttle at the right angle for re-entry?  30 degrees, to be exact.  If the pilot couldn't keep the nose up, they would burn up as they entered the Earth's atmosphere.

Sometimes I slip and I let my attitude drop a bit and the heat and flames of the atmosphere made of worst-case scenario thoughts eat away at the heat shield that is my normally positive way of looking at things and I break apart.  I try to bring myself out of it, bring myself up, but it slips again.  It's not always as easy as it looks.

Then all of the sudden, I break through the clouds and land safely in the sunlight.  Just like in the movies.  And hopefully that's the way life will always turn out, right?

Don't remember what I'm talking about?  You'll find the video right here.

Max and Jinx...Friends Forever

observations from over the weekend

• Running in late September is like playing hundreds of consecutive games of chicken with the grasshoppers that like to hang out on the sidewalks.
• It is not a good idea to hang out under black walnut trees on windy days.
• When a place you spent a lot of time in as a child becomes neglected and a non-place, it can be a little depressing.

There used to be a nature trail here that went to a boardwalk.
I spent hours upon hours of my childhood here, sometimes alone, sometimes with friends.

• A dog's thoughts about a salamander - "What is this thing?  Do I play with it or do I eat it?"
• Beware of falling branches in cemeteries.
• Oh, to have the life of a katydid.  "I'm just a big green leaf on the sidewalk gently moving in the breeze.  Nothing to see here."

• Time spent with family is always best - money or no money, laughter is priceless.
• When I have to be creative, I have a mental block.  When I have to be logical, I just want to be creative.
• Wow - the last part of the second season of Twin Peaks really went downhill quickly.
• Weekends rule, workdays drool!

 

methinks a vacation is needed

When I logged in to my LinkedIn account this morning, I saw this:

My tired eyes and screwed up brain read it as:

 

"How I Would Like a Blow Job Offer"

 

Wow - now that's a different kind of networking.

Anyone willing to give this girl a vacation getaway?  I've got the vacation time, I just need a place to go and the money to do it with.  I think it's pretty obvious that I could use one. 

 

Maybe I should make a commercial with pictures of me with big puppy dog eyes to the tune of Sarah McLachlan's Angel.   Heck, I'll even give you a tote bag from wherever you send me as a gift for your generosity.

 

 



the jowls are not as they seem

There are many things about my appearance that I don't like.  I freely admit that and am working on improving what I can and dealing with what I cannot.  There was one thing that I found on a photo taken last year that made me take a step back. 

Apparently I have jowls.

Seriously.  Jowls.

 

via Biography.com

I'm not even 40 years old yet and I'm beginning to resemble Churchill?  What the freaking hell?!   

These are not attractive. 

These do not embody femininity. 

I love The Onion.
Serious Man Pleased With How Jowls Are Coming In

Yet there they are, just flapping in the breeze...

So what do I do about them?  Well, according to the almighty Internet and the wisdom that springs forth from it...plastic surgery!  Ugh, no.  That's not gonna happen.  Next best bet...exercises!

No, no, no.  Not like that.

So now on top of the exercising I'm doing in the morning and the running I'm trying to do after work, I have to find time to do these:

The only time I can think of to fit them in would be while I'm sitting at my desk.  You know - in the office with one wall full of windows.  I should get some great looks from people walking by while I'm doing the Lion Face...

random again

This song popped up on my iPod, so I was going to find the video and post it here as a "Yeah, I'm feeling this today" post, but then I found this lovely gem of a performance...


Not only is it the song that I was looking for, but this video oozes so much 80's awesomeness that it could bleed neon pink and aqua blue.  It was Solid Gold!  I freaking loved that show!  I wanted to be a Solid Gold Dancer when I grew up!  Badly lip-synced performances, cheesy dance routines, Marilyn McCoo interrupting the song for no reason whatsoever and lamely swaying to a beat all her own, realizing why some one-hit wonders were limited to one hit since they had faces for radio, crimped hair and headbands!

Ah, the nostalgia. 

And now someone just broke my stride...
*sigh*
Carry on....

hi-dee-ho!

I don't have too much to report, but I thought I'd drop y'all a line and say hello - I'm still here!  I've been doing what I'm supposed to be doing: exercising (Focus T25 every morning), eating better, drinking 8 gallons of water a day (well, kind of), sending out resumes, and all is well.  I think I've only lost about 3-4 pounds so far, but that's because I cheat a little too much on my Sunday cheat days, so I'll have to reel that in a bit.  I'll just have to have fewer crackers on Packer game days. 


Game watching necessities

So for now I'll leave you with this for no reason whatsoever: