boo to bullies: the next chapter

Some of you may remember the post I wrote last year called boo to bullies where I talked about the bullying I went through as a kid in middle school and the bullying that my own middle school son was enduring.  Well, almost a year has passed and there are changes afoot for both of us.

My son is getting picked on less and less.  I think it has something to do with the fact that he's actually starting to step in when he sees another student being picked on.  He doesn't get violent, he just tells the other kid to knock it off and sometimes physically takes the victim out of the situation.  This has happened three times that I know of this year.  Once with a kid who kept getting picked on in the cafeteria where he called out the kids as being immature for ganging up on this other student, once when he stood up for a girl who kept getting picked on (she had a bit of a hero crush on him after that), and just a couple of days ago he told a kid to stop picking on a smaller kid after he'd been doing it for quite some time and actually moved the kid out of the situation.  I love my son!  Now I'm just afraid that someone's gonna end up getting fed up with him ruining all of their fun and take it out on him.  Man, I wish we had better health insurance...  Anyway, he's really beginning to come into his own with a group of friends and his confidence level is beginning to soar.  (Well, except with his actual schoolwork.  If we could get him just as passionate about that....)

In my story, things have just taken an interesting turn.  The girl who used to pick on me in middle school, who called me names in 6th grade and laughed at me with the basketball coach in 7th grade, who had disappeared from my life after graduation, has just now reappeared in the world of Facebook.  And the irony of it all - She's now a 6th grade teacher.  I don't hold a grudge against her for the way she treated me.  We were all young and I'm sure she's matured since then.  I do wonder a few things though, like does she remember or even realize the way she treated me?  And if so, does she regret what she did?  And if not, does she teach her kids to be accepting and not to judge?  And as a teacher, how does she feel about bullying?  It will be interesting to see if she shows up at our 20 year reunion (gulp) this summer.  But if she does, do I bring any of it up or just pretend it never happened?  I guess we'll just see what happens.

Anyway...it's funny that at the same time we're both coming to new chapters in moving on from the negativity thrown at us when the occurrences were so many years apart.  Hopefully the next chapters will prove to be even more positive.

b-day blues?

I'm having issues with my birthday this year.

Not major issues.  I don't want to crawl in a hole and pretend it's not happening.  I'm still going to be taking the day off tomorrow, having my "me" day and celebrating, but today something hit me and 38 is sounding really freaking old!

In an effort to make myself realize that other people born the same year as I am don't seem old, I hit up my old friend, the Internet.  I found some very interesting things.  Angelina Jolie and I were born the same year.  So were Eva Longoria, Bradley Cooper and Christina Hendricks.  They're not old!  Of course, they're much better looking than I am to start off with, can use the highest priced beauty items, afford gym memberships (or more likely, their own home gyms/personal trainers) and they're not forced by lack of funds to shop at Wal-Mart for food that is far from organic.

I'm not sure if this made me feel better or worse.

looking for a way out

After being completely discouraged at work (yet again) and realizing (yet again) that there's nowhere for me to go here, I started exploring other options. 

I looked at job listings and found nothing.

I looked at education options and found something that I'll think about pursuing.

Not finding what I was really looking for, I decided to go a different direction.

I looked up airfare prices for domestic flights.

I looked up information on how to get a passport.

I looked up airfare prices for international flights.

And then I laughed at myself, opened up a file on my computer and started writing instructions on how to do my job for the next person. One way or another, I'll get out somehow.


 

something harshed my mellow

I have been on the verge of an anxiety attack (or in the midst of a mild one) all day.  Possibly even longer than that - I don't know.  I've never had one before...that I know of.  All I know is that all day today, and for some time last night when I was trying to get to sleep and at the end of last week for a little while, I've been so tense that it feels like my skin is crawling, my heart rate accelerates from time to time, my mind shoots from one thing to another and I can't focus, I've been dizzy and on the verge of a headache and anytime I'm presented with any little bit of tension, my heart feels like it's about to jump right out of my chest until I breathe my way out of it.  What the hell?!

I'm the mellow laid-back one.  I don't stress out.  I don't let things get to me.  I mean, yeah - things have been pretty stressful lately, but they're now starting to turn around.  And I had a couple of little hiccups in my groove today, but nothing that isn't going to be okay soon.  I don't get it.  Why now?  And why ever?!

I looked it up on WebMD (because that's the first thing you should always do), and my symptoms matched perfectly.  I looked up the causes and it said, "Anxiety may be caused by a mental condition, a physical condition, the effects of drugs, or from a combination of these."  Gee, that's helpful. 

Okay, fine.  I know I'm having some sort of attack so what do I do about it?  Ever-knowledgeable WebMD suggests the following:

• Exercise.  I do this every morning.
• Meditation.  Again, every morning - sometimes just a quick one and other times for an hour or so.
• Don't partake in illegal drugs.  Ummmm...duh.
• Stay away from caffeine and chocolate.  I don't think my one cup of coffee routine is making me wacko, nor is the possible one bite of chocolate I take a day.

So, I'm already doing everything I'm supposed to be doing in order to help calm any anxiety, but I'm still sitting here full of anxiety!  So does this mean that I have some sort of a mental problem?  Am I going to have to start taking medication?    Oh great, one of the other symptoms is fear of having more attacks.  Gah!

Okay, okay....I'm going to sit here in my office surrounded by the fragrance of "Sandalwood and Soothe", say some mantras, listen to some 16th century lute music, and sip on some Zen tea.  If that doesn't do the trick, someone better have me committed.

an observation on women's hosiery

A Female Office Worker's Prayer:

Dear Lord, please don't let the cute guy in Cubicle 2A choose today to fall in love with me and take me in the supply closet to have his way with me. I'm wearing knee-highs.

Is it just me, or are these some of the ugliest things ever created for the females of the species to wear?  Now I'm not talking about the cute patterned ones that go with frilly little skirts, I mean the regular old flesh-colored half-stockings that we wear to work,

Sure, they look just fine under a pair of pants, (I refuse to use the term slacks - I'm not 60), but if you make the mistake of taking those pants off before you take off the hose, you're in for a scary sight.  The elastic cuff at the top of the stocking is tight so that it doesn't fall down, which is a good thing, but if you have any body fat (unlike the above mannequin legs or your typical knee-high models) this creates something more like a tourniquet and therefore a bit of a muffin-top and muffin-bottom around said cuff which also helps to accentuate the knobby knee directly above it.. 

Of course, if you do take off the knee highs before the slacks, you're still left with an indentation going around your leg just below your knee that will last for at least 6 hours.  You really have to plan ahead when you wear these things.  No skirts, shorts, hot dates, etc. for the rest of the day. Ick.

That's all.  Just an observation.  Carry on with your day.