The ramblings of a somewhat bawdy, opinionated, pop-culture-loving thirty-some-year-old woman who feels like sharing her random thoughts with the world.
Showing posts with label weight-loss crap. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weight-loss crap. Show all posts
You know how when a group of women get together, you often hear, "I wish they could just take the fat from (insert body part here) and put it in my boobs."
Well, guess what I'm having done this week? That very thing!
This should by my last surgery and then I'll be able to move on. It's for symmetry. They don't just do the one side and say, "Sorry if they don't match. Them's the breaks, kid." They make sure they match, well, as much as possible anyway. Lift, plump, reduce, whatever it takes. How nice of them!
So, on Thursday, I'll be having outpatient surgery once again. They'll suck some fat from my ample belly and inject it into my chest. If I could just get him to take a ton of it and from everywhere...
Speaking of my ample-ness, that is very slowly starting to go away. I've lost a whopping 7 pounds since the beginning of the year. If it wasn't for my old lady metabolism (thanks, meds) I'd have lost at least double that by now, but at least it's progress and it's making me keep going. Of course, I'll have to take a break...again...after this surgery.
I know there are many people out there who hate the fitness and exercise tracking apps that post to Facebook. I'm not sure why they hate them, maybe it makes them feel bad that they're not exercising? I honestly don't know. Personally, I'm all for them! I like cheering my friends on and enjoy the cheering in turn.
Unfortunately, since I've gotten so out of shape during the past year, I feel like these apps aren't really including the little milestones that I make on a daily basis. I'd love to get some "likes" for these:
*Passed up a piece of office birthday cake.
*Somehow made it through 25 mundane minutes on the treadmill. (Can it please warm up outside?)
*Finally had the strength in my arms to do girly pushups.
*Made it up the stairs without getting winded.
*Walked past the scones and muffins in the cafeteria without grabbing a single one.
*Didn't destroy my alarm clock when it went off at the butt-crack of dawn so I could get up and exercise.
*Realized that, though green, pistachio fluff does not count as a vegetable.
Come on, don't you think this would be helpful? I wonder if I know any app developers, I could make millions!
If you've seen me lately, either in person or in pictures, you've probably noticed I'm quite fluffy. Fluffy, you ask? Yes. Fluffy. I'm fluffy in two different ways and you probably noticed one, if not both, of them.
1.) My once completely bald head now has a thick layer of fine peach fuzz covering it. It's very soft & fluffy.
Well, it is if you don't notice the bits of stubble that are just starting to peek out from under it. (Yay!!) If you ask me very nicely, I'll even let you pet my head. This is a rarity since I usually hate it when people do that.
2.) I've gained somewhere between 10-15 pounds since I started the second kind of chemo treatments.
I say somewhere between because I honestly stopped keeping track since there's not a dang thing I can do about it. Even though so many people (including myself) think of a chemo patient as being gaunt and frail, the reality is that the steroids they give along with the chemo like to throw on some more poundage. So combine that with my body craving carbs for energy and the fact that I can't exercise quite the way I used to and it's a recipe for weight gain. It's a great thing - combine being bald, sweating from hot flashes and added weight and I totally feelSeXayyy!
Yeah, okay, not so much. I do know the fluffiness is only temporary though. Like I said, I'm starting to grow hair again, so there's a light at the end of the tunnel there. I've lost a ton of weight before and I know I can do it again. Once I'm done with my chemo (only 3 treatments left, y'all!) and I've recovered from my surgery, I'll be able to start getting everything back on track again. I've been walking and riding my bike throughout this, so I won't be starting from scratch. It's gonna be time to download the Couch to 5K app and start that all over again. I so miss running. And I'll start using the dumbbell set that we got for Christmas - what seems like lifetimes ago - before this whole mess started. And no fad diets, just eating healthy so we can live longer, healthier lives.
When this is all over, I'll be healthier than I've ever been before. How's that for a silver lining?
This little annoying guy was created by Matthew Inman over at The Oatmeal. He stands for everything that I fight with when I know I should make better life choices or pushing myself further, but find myself caving or giving up.
Please, for the love of all that is good and holy, take a look at this and you'll read all about him.
Now, I don't run long distances, but I deal with The Blerch on a daily basis. This panel shows you what he says to me almost every morning:
I started agreeing with him more and more. I used to get up every morning at 5:15am, walk into our spare room (sometimes when the temp was in the 50's in there) and have Shawn T kick my butt either with Insanity or Focus T25, and then meditate for a little while. But it got easier and easier for me to listen to the chubby winged deceiver and I would sleep in more and more. Bed is cozy. I am old. I didn't get as much sleep the night before as I wanted to. You see the pattern.
That ended today. (Well, okay, it would have ended today if I had turned on the proper alarm - but I still ran a mile. That's something, right?) The hubby and I are starting...again. Low carb, no refined white stuff, exercising religiously, and becoming healthier people. Again. We did it once, the Blerch won us over, we can do it again.
I have 20 pounds that I want to melt away. I will not obsess with my weight, but I will obsess about making the right choices. These choices will make the weight go away on its own. Getting up in the morning like I know I should. Not eating that piece of cake in the cafeteria that's probably hard and stale, but still there so I eat it anyway. Staying away from the vending machine and it's never ending supply of Gardettos.
I know I've written posts about this numerous times before, and the fact that I have to continue writing the same thing over and over is very disappointing to me. I've disappointed myself and that just will not do.
I've made The Blerch my profile picture on Facebook, stuck his picture in my fridge and put the panel you see above on my phone so it's the first thing I see in the morning. I will not cave in to this guy any more, dang it.
Ren·ais·sance [ren-uh-sahns, -zahns, -sahns, ren-uh-sahns, -zahns, -sahns] noun (lowercase) a renewal of life, vigor, interest, etc.; rebirth; revival: a moral renaissance. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Remember that funk that I was talking about before? It actually lasted quite some time. It started long before I posted that entry, but I hadn't really realized it. Looking back at some of my posts before that one, I can see it. I let myself go, not caring, no direction, no goal, just getting by. I had stopped exercising, stopped meditating, ate anything and everything without a second thought about carbs or calories or cholesterol, sat around the apartment after work doing nothing. I was becoming a sloth. Then I saw what was going on. I gained 15 pounds from the lowest weight I had been at which was about this same time last year. 15 pounds! I tried running again and where I was once able to run 5 miles, I could barely make it around the block. I wasn't happy. Not with myself, my job, what I was doing (or not doing) with my life so after a short amount of time dwelling in self-pity, I came to a decision: On Tuesday, I will be starting over. My own renaissance. I will be exercising every morning again - I am so looking forward so kicking my own ass once again before heading to the office. I have updated my resume and will actively pursue the search for a new way to spend 8.5 hours per weekday. I will be meditating daily. I will be drastically lowering my carb intake and watching my portion sizes again. I will be cutting way back on my alcohol - limiting it to weekends only. I'm thinking I should be able to lose that 15 pounds again in 2 to 3 months. Thankfully my awesome husband will be doing the same so we'll be able to help each other along the way. Oh - and I had a good length of my hair chopped off. Perhaps symbolic, perhaps just in need of a change. I'm putting this out there so I know that people have seen it and will hold me accountable. I'm pretty good at doing something once I have a goal - I just needed that goal to work towards. Bear with me as I post from time to time on my progress and please...I could use all the encouragement I can get. That self-confidence level is in need of a boost again. :) Here comes Rebecca version 3.0
I apologize in advance for any lack of clarity in my writing as I am coming out of a NyQuil coma and am hopped up on Sudafed. (See NSFW video below.)
I have had a cold for 4.5 days now. I know, colds happen all the time - especially now that the kids are back in school. Here's the thing...I rarely get sick. If I get a cold, my body fights it off and I just get little bits and pieces of symptoms that just kind of say hello, but nothing really ever comes of it. This time, I got knocked on my ass. And the thing is, it's mainly just a minor head cold, but it is so utterly draining that all I've done for the last 2.5 days is lay around or sit on my ass.
It's probably my own fault. I haven't been getting a lot of sleep over the past few weeks because I've been getting up early to work out and going to late-night lectures, so my body was probably too tired to fight it off. So by me trying to become healthier, I caused myself to get sick. Oh life, what a convoluted game you play.
Now add to the sickness and lethargy the constant need to eat. And not just eat anything, but my body is craving carbs. The evil white stuff that I've been limiting in my diet has now become the one thing my body wants to ingest. I've read that this is because my body needs fuel to fight off the virus, but why can't I be craving oranges or tomatoes instead? Pretzels and Bugles and toast and noodles - that's what my body wants. Screw the vitamins, gimme junk!
I have this fear that by the time I'm finally over this thing, I'll have gained 15 pounds and won't be able to do the exercises I've worked my way up to, thereby causing me to say "fuckitall" and go back to my existence of XL clothes, bread dough appetizers and extremely low self-esteem.
Of course, maybe that's just the NyQuil and Sudafed talking.
Why is it that we never crave things like salad or green beans or, hell, even raisins? I've been trying to be so good about what I'm putting in my body (one considers whiskey healthy, right?) but all I can think about right now are chips and dips and breads and sweets and things that I shouldn't be eating.
Before we go any further, I should pause and say no, I am not pregnant. For some reason everyone's mind goes there when a woman is craving anything...or sick, or tired, or dizzy. It's crazy, really.
Moving on...
For months now I've been hungry for Pillsbury Crescent Rolls. Actually, I've been hungry for dinner recipes that I used to make using those tasty things. One is no healthier than the other. One was called Crescent Chicken Squares and made for tasty convenient leftovers for work the next day. The other was more of a comfort food and loaded with cheesy goodness...Cheesy Chicken Rollups. Yum!
Chicken Crescent Squares at Food.com
Now, considering that one of these tasty squares carries over 350 calories (let's not mention the carbs) and I usually eat 2-3 of them as a meal...this is a big DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT on my healthy food meter. But I can't help but think about them. They were so sweet and savory and creamy and flaky... Sigh.
And then there's snacks. I want Bugles, dammit! I want Bugles and chili dip or ranch dip. And I want Pringles and French onion dip. And I want cheddar and sour cream Ruffles. I also want fried mozzarella sticks, french fries, fried cheese curds, a gyro, and cheese, sausage and crackers.
This presentation of Bugles and dip is much fancier than
my normal bag & plastic dairy container
I sound like such a pig, but it's driving me crazy! Don't think I'm not snacking at all or starving myself. I eat my 1200 calories per day. Sometimes I have some Bacon Ranch popcorn from Popcorn, Indiana. Sometimes I even have half a serving of the wonderful bits of heaven on earth: Snyder's Bacon Cheddar Pretzel Pieces. (To DIE for!)
Have you tried this stuff yet?
If not, I highly recommend you do.
I think I'm just getting sick of them and need a week of naughtiness to get the cravings out of my system again. Then when I realize how bloated and crappy I feel, I'll go right back to my old ways again. Right?
Ugh - no. I know that's not good for me either.
Can someone recommend a vegetable that tastes like chips and dip?
At the beginning of the week, the hubby and I started using MyFitnessPal.com to track our calories, what we eat, exercise, yadda, yadda, yadda... It's really a great program. Especially for the price...ahem...FREE. All you do is enter in your current weight, your goal weight, let it know how active of a lifestyle you have, and it calculates how many calories you should take in per day, how much you should exercise, etc.
This is exactly what I did and it told me I should eat 1200 calories per day.
My hubby gets to eat almost 1500, and I'm stuck with the bare minimum that a person should ingest per day? I'm in better shape than he is! How is this fair?
Okay, no problem, I can do this.
So I've been diligently tracking everything I put in my mouth. (Minds out of the gutters for a moment, people.) I create recipes with the proper ingredients, I track every glass of water, I enter every bit of exercise that I do, and all in all, I am usually a little under my 1200 mark per day. That's a good thing, right?
Apparently not.
After closing out my food diary for the day, it tells me that if every day was like today, in 5 days I should be at (insert awesome poundage here). Yay! That's great! But then in fine print it tells me this:
*Based on your total calories consumed for today, you are eating too few calories. Not only is it difficult to receive adequate nutrition at these calorie levels, but you could also be putting your body into starvation mode. Starvation mode lowers your metabolism and makes weight loss more difficult. We suggest increasing your calorie consumption to 1,200 calories per day minimum.
Hold on. You were the ones to tell me that 1200 was my target per day. If I'm only a little under that, and that's going to put me into starvation mode, then why would you give me that number in the first place? What am I supposed to do - find a little chocolate to give me those extra hundred calories to put me just a little over my goal? At the end of the day? I don't think that's such a great idea either.
Oh, the stress! Eat too much and it's bad. Eat too little and it's bad (and trust me, I'm nowhere near starving myself). I swear, I just can't win this one. MyFitnessPal is always judging me!
I guess I'll just have to start eating a Whatchamacallit in the middle of the day to make sure I don't drop too low. When I lose my final 14 pounds and people ask me what my secret was, I'll have to reply, "That Whatchamacallit Diet."
We have a Wii. I forget this. Well, maybe that's the wrong way to put it. The Wii is our way of streaming Netflix right to our TV, so it's kind of like another movie player. I should say I forget that we have Wii games. Fun ones that make you move.
Saturday night I had this incredible urge to start Wii boxing. I have no idea why. I had no aggressions to take out, nobody that I felt like beating up, I just had to box. So I did. And I kicked some major Mii butt. I also threw in a little tennis and bowling. All in all, I played for about 45 minutes...then went back to doing nothing.
Sunday morning, I woke to find a little over an inch of fresh snow on the ground which prevented me from going on the run I had been planning on taking. Then I remembered the Wii again and EA Active2. It's a great exercise program that I use when I remember we have it. I decided that my legs are doing pretty well, but I need more upper body and core work, so I set it up and did a half-hour workout. Lots of strength training, lots of arm work. Felt good!
This morning....not good. My arms are now dead. Lifting them to wash my hair was painful. Straightening them out sends a wave of pain through my body. They just kind of hang to my sides like two limp noodles. Heaven forbid I have to lift anything that weighs over 3 pounds. I'll be crying like the little wuss that I apparently am. Waaahhh!
Of course, that won't stop me from doing it to myself again tomorrow.
See - you know what they are. You've seen plenty of women wearing them. Unfortunately, so did I.
When I lost my weight, the jeans that I had were falling off of me - literally. I was about to go out with friends and wanted to show off the new figure and that just wasn't going to happen in clothes that were two sizes too big for me, so I had to find some new jeans...and fast.
Being in a small town, there's not much to choose from. We've got Wal-Mart, Kohl's and Shopko. Yeah. Cheap and crappy, overpriced and expensive, or jeans for the geriatric set. I figured I just needed something to get me through, so I went to Wal-Mart and tried on about 5 pairs of jeans. The jeans in the juniors section were far too tight and low-cut for any person who's had children to wear. Or any person over the size of 2, for that matter...but don't get me started on that.
I finally found a pair that covered the stuff that needed to be covered and bought them. And wore them out with my friends and other places...in public...for months. Then I had an epiphany....
Holy fuck, these are mom jeans!!!
Thumbs-down for Mom Jeans
I was so embarrassed. They screamed, "I'm not a woman, I'm a mom." Granted, they didn't have pleats or elastic at the back of the waistband, but they did sit somewhat high on the waist and had a special "slimming panel" to help hide that post c-section pudge. I vowed that I would buy a new pair of non-mom jeans as soon as I had the money to do so.
And then I never had the money. Things always came up like...oh...food, utilities, school supplies. And I continued wearing them and putting off my own vanity for the sake of the family. But I couldn't do it forever.
Yesterday, we had a little extra money, so the husband went out to buy himself a Brewers shirt to wear to the playoff game (very important) and came back with that and a new pair of jeans. What the hell? I get new jeans first! I pouted. The hubby thought my pouting was cute, but could feel my pain and told me to go out and buy myself a new pair so I could finally be happy. (Isn't he a great guy?)
I was willing to take my time and spend a little more, so I tried a few different stores. (Good lord, jeans are expensive!) I wasn't finding anything in my price range and was getting completely frustrated, so I decided to try one more store and then give up. I didn't want to stay out too much longer, so I went right to the jeans, grabbed two different pairs in my size and tried them on.
And they were perfect!!!
Thumbs-up for Non-Mom Jeans!
Look, they're real denim - not just the stretchy stuff that's denim-ish. They're low and snug, but not so much that my nether-regions are screaming in pain while any fat from my lower torso is pushed up and over the "waistband." In other words - very little muffin top. I'm a woman again - not just a mom and I no longer feel like I'm in my 50's when I'm wearing jeans.
I'm ready to go out and hit the town. I just need someone to get me out of the house...
I'm stuck on a weight-loss plateau again and I'm losing my motivation to keep going. My exercise has been on a less-than-regular basis and I think I might have gained a little bit again.
This is not good.
I have 10-15 pounds to go to reach my goal and I don't want to give up, but I just don't have the motivation to keep going. I need something to look totally hot for. I need a n event or to see people I haven't seen in a while. Something a few months in the future so I can realistically get there, but have to work to do it. I won't have a class reunion for another couple of years, I don't have any friends getting married, no vacations that I need to fit into a bikini for.
