Please tell me you've checked out the Sleep Talkin' Man. There's nothing like a good chuckle in the morning, and this site gives me plenty. A wife blogs about the things that come out of her husband's mouth while he's sleeping. Simple, yet hilarious. There is "controversy" over whether or not this is actual sleep-talk or if the writers of the blog make it all up, but seriously - who cares? These insane random thoughts are merged together so beautifully that it doesn't matter where they come from. I've posted some of my favorite quotes below...
"That's the difference between you and me. Your heart is filled with hate, and mine is filled with kittens. Mmmm, kittens. Meow."
"I think I'll become a decimal point. Cause it's got the power to make things look small or big, all at the same time. I want to have such power. Mmmm, power."
"The world's just not as sparkly as you want it to be. We should all carry some glitter and add a little bit along the way."
"Pay homage to toast. Prostrate yourself in front of it: hot, crunchy bread slice thingy. We shall celebrate with tea! Iguana tea."
"I'm in a totally zen-like state… Can't you tell how fucking zen I am?!"
"No. Don't look up. They're in the trees. Those tree cows. They're a deadly shot. They'll get you in the eyes. Get them down with threats of violence. And a bucket of grass, of course."
"Ghostly froggies. A-hoppin' and a-haunting. Oooooh, ribbit. Oooooh, ribbit."
"(singing) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge. I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be-... You can fuck off to the back and sulk there. (singing again) I'm gonna be the captain, I'm gonna be in charge.... Captain Bollocks! I shall be Captain Bollocks. On the good ship Scrotum. It's a small boat, but it'll pack a punch. We'll be able seamen in our boat, Scrotum."
"Yeah, you can find it on www.uselessfuckingpieceofcockshitesuckingtitfuck.com."
And the best one for us Wisconsinites:
"My badger's gonna unleash hell on your ass. BADGERTASTIC!"
Hope you got a little chuckle out of these. Seriously, follow this blog - it's a little piece of happy insanity every morning.
I LOVE Sleep Talking Man! And I believe it's real because my brother talked in his sleep but we were so busy laughing our asses off no one ever thought to grab a pen and paper and write that shit down. We would've been famous. For sure.
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