Rob over at Topless Robot just posted this amazing trailer. What's so amazing about it? Well, it's the Russian trailer for the new Avengers. This means that Chris Hemsworth and Robert Downey Jr. are speaking Russian!
Well, okay, they're not the ones speaking it, but it's the closest I'm gonna get.
I think I might be on to something here...find Italian and Russian dubbed versions of movies that star men I find attractive. Yes! I think this shall be a new hobby of mine.
Okay...carry on.
Thursday, December 29, 2011
2011 in a largish nutshell
Well, we've come to the end of another year. Looking back on it, it was a rather enjoyable twelve months. Sure there were lows, some losses, and a few boring stretches, but overall it was a positive year. Let's do the proper thing and recap, shall we?
January: I turned 36. Yup, that's about all that happened in January.
February: Hmmm...February is cold. Oh, we had a blizzard. Yeah, we had a blizzard and a couple of snow days and that's about all that registers in my memory of February. Oh, and the Packers won the Super Bowl.
March: March was full of fun! I loved March! I started off by spending the weekend with a great group of people including one of my best friends in the whole wide world. The weekend after that, we ended up in the midst of the protests in Madison...completely by accident. And then at the end of the month, we took our first ever family road trip. The whole month was complete bliss!
April: A very dizzying month for me: both because of my vertigo and the fact that my son was learning more and more about S-E-X courtesy of our wonderful public school system.
May: It got warmer, I was able to escape to the great outdoors more and more...and so did the mayflies.
June: Ah, beautiful June. I did a lot of purging of closets and memories. There wasn't much in the way of mind-blowing events, but I remember spending as much time outside as humanly possible. (Hello tan!)
July: A roller coaster ride of a month. It began with our annual trip to the Renaissance Faire, but was quickly turned upside down by the day from hell, the loss of my third grandmother, and the loss of the mother of my best friend. We ended the month back on a high note though with a trip to see our local baseball team win another game.
August: I trudged forward in August (sweating all the way), determined to help those in need and give a few pointers that I've learned along the way.
September: Every September begins with a trip to our county fair. This one was no different. Fried foods on a stick and overpriced rides galore! My family and I also participated in the Walk to End Alzheimer's
and raised $350 toward the cause. That made the whole month.
October: My favoritest month of every year. It's Halloween season, my hubby turned...older, and we celebrated our 15-year wedding anniversary in grand style. I rounded out the month with a field trip to Chicago for no reason other than to play tourist and take a crap-load of pictures.
November: Things got a little cooler, but by no means winterish. (Say goodbye to the tan.) My hubby took a road trip to Minnesota, leaving me to watch football on my own, but when he returned, we celebrated Thanksgiving with family...again and again. I also realized after years and years how I end up with so many mysterious bruises.
December: Here we are. The holiday season, colder temperatures, maybe even a little snow from time to time (unfortunately not for Christmas). We had a wonderful Christmas - calm, not terribly stressful, and really enjoyed being with our families. That's what it's all about.
Looking forward to 2012, I see only positive things. Great changes are on their way - I know it. I feel it! We're going to be happier and healthier than we have been in years. Maybe I'll get a new job, but if not I'll gain another week of vacation time once I hit my anniversary date, so that's...something. I have plans to do wonderful but insane things and I hope you'll stick with me along the way.
All the best to you in the coming year. May it be full of great things!
January: I turned 36. Yup, that's about all that happened in January.
February: Hmmm...February is cold. Oh, we had a blizzard. Yeah, we had a blizzard and a couple of snow days and that's about all that registers in my memory of February. Oh, and the Packers won the Super Bowl.
March: March was full of fun! I loved March! I started off by spending the weekend with a great group of people including one of my best friends in the whole wide world. The weekend after that, we ended up in the midst of the protests in Madison...completely by accident. And then at the end of the month, we took our first ever family road trip. The whole month was complete bliss!
April: A very dizzying month for me: both because of my vertigo and the fact that my son was learning more and more about S-E-X courtesy of our wonderful public school system.
May: It got warmer, I was able to escape to the great outdoors more and more...and so did the mayflies.
June: Ah, beautiful June. I did a lot of purging of closets and memories. There wasn't much in the way of mind-blowing events, but I remember spending as much time outside as humanly possible. (Hello tan!)
July: A roller coaster ride of a month. It began with our annual trip to the Renaissance Faire, but was quickly turned upside down by the day from hell, the loss of my third grandmother, and the loss of the mother of my best friend. We ended the month back on a high note though with a trip to see our local baseball team win another game.
August: I trudged forward in August (sweating all the way), determined to help those in need and give a few pointers that I've learned along the way.
September: Every September begins with a trip to our county fair. This one was no different. Fried foods on a stick and overpriced rides galore! My family and I also participated in the Walk to End Alzheimer's
and raised $350 toward the cause. That made the whole month.
October: My favoritest month of every year. It's Halloween season, my hubby turned...older, and we celebrated our 15-year wedding anniversary in grand style. I rounded out the month with a field trip to Chicago for no reason other than to play tourist and take a crap-load of pictures.
November: Things got a little cooler, but by no means winterish. (Say goodbye to the tan.) My hubby took a road trip to Minnesota, leaving me to watch football on my own, but when he returned, we celebrated Thanksgiving with family...again and again. I also realized after years and years how I end up with so many mysterious bruises.
December: Here we are. The holiday season, colder temperatures, maybe even a little snow from time to time (unfortunately not for Christmas). We had a wonderful Christmas - calm, not terribly stressful, and really enjoyed being with our families. That's what it's all about.
Looking forward to 2012, I see only positive things. Great changes are on their way - I know it. I feel it! We're going to be happier and healthier than we have been in years. Maybe I'll get a new job, but if not I'll gain another week of vacation time once I hit my anniversary date, so that's...something. I have plans to do wonderful but insane things and I hope you'll stick with me along the way.
All the best to you in the coming year. May it be full of great things!
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
simplicity is what makes it all better
I had a rough day today. I admit it - I was grumpy. I didn't want to be back at work, I didn't want to listen to people asking others how their holiday was just so they could turn around and talk about all of the meaningless stuff that they got for Christmas, and I wanted to be alone. Okay, I was probably PMS-ing.
Then as I checked facebook from time to time as I do throughout the day at work when I have nothing going on as seems to be the case more often than not these days, I noticed a friend posted a link to an article from an online Australian newspaper. It was some advice from a very wise teacher (and a man I greatly respect) about how to make a less stressful life through simplicity. It was very short, but many of the points seemed to hit home.
I read it and went on about my day, and then noticed that another friend posted it again. I read it again.
And then another friend posted it later in the evening, and I read it again, and I let the words really soak in instead of just reading them in agreement.
"Whatever beings do, wish them happiness and that all disturbing feelings may disappear,"
"Give constructive advice or be a good example during the day."
It's all so easy...so why is it so hard?
With practice, it becomes easier. And I have been trying to do this for quite some time now, but being just another regular unenlightened human, I get wrapped up in the emotions of the people around me and my own personal likes and dislikes. I need to keep myself in check and be that good example...pausing only to write humorous, if somewhat snarky, blog posts from time to time.
I'll post the link below. Take a moment of your time and read it yourself. It should take you less than two minutes. A little later on, read it again. Try it one more time and see if things really start to sink in - I dare you.
Simple Ways to A Better Life
Herald Sun, Melbourne, Australia
Then as I checked facebook from time to time as I do throughout the day at work when I have nothing going on as seems to be the case more often than not these days, I noticed a friend posted a link to an article from an online Australian newspaper. It was some advice from a very wise teacher (and a man I greatly respect) about how to make a less stressful life through simplicity. It was very short, but many of the points seemed to hit home.
I read it and went on about my day, and then noticed that another friend posted it again. I read it again.
And then another friend posted it later in the evening, and I read it again, and I let the words really soak in instead of just reading them in agreement.
"Whatever beings do, wish them happiness and that all disturbing feelings may disappear,"
"Give constructive advice or be a good example during the day."
With practice, it becomes easier. And I have been trying to do this for quite some time now, but being just another regular unenlightened human, I get wrapped up in the emotions of the people around me and my own personal likes and dislikes. I need to keep myself in check and be that good example...pausing only to write humorous, if somewhat snarky, blog posts from time to time.
I'll post the link below. Take a moment of your time and read it yourself. It should take you less than two minutes. A little later on, read it again. Try it one more time and see if things really start to sink in - I dare you.
Simple Ways to A Better Life
Herald Sun, Melbourne, Australia
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
words i need to incorporate into daily conversation
As I was desperately trying to find something on Netflix last night that I haven't seen 3,892 times, I happened upon the old 1936 full-length PSA Reefer Madness. Woohoo! Something to barely pay any attention to and laugh at. As the introduction rolled (no pun intended), the dramatic message became clear:
"Marihuana is that drug -- a violent narcotic --an unspeakable scourge -- The Real Public Enemy Number One !"
What a great word - scourge. And then they used it again...and again...and again! It was then that I realized that I really need to try to work that word into conversations more often. And then I remembered that there is a whole list of words that I love that don't get the use that they deserve.
Let's start with dear old scourge - shall we?
scourge: noun; a cause of affliction or calamity
"These dirty dishes are a scourge on my feng shui."
onomatopoeia: noun; the formation of a word, as cuckoo, meow, honk, or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent
"There has to be a more descriptive onomatopoeia for the noise that my husband is making while he's sleeping in the recliner."
minion: noun; a servile follower or subordinate of a person in power.
"Dear, as my minion, it's your job to do the dishes - not mine."
superfluous: adjective; being more than is sufficient or required; excessive; unnecessary or needless.
"While I appreciate the fact that you were getting in a good nap and didn't want to wake up, flipping me off while you walk into the kitchen is a bit superfluous, don't you think?"
abdicate: verb; to give up or renounce
"Fine! If you're abdicating your responsibilities, I guess it falls to me...as usual"
disdain: noun; a feeling of contempt for anything regarded as unworthy
"It is with disdain that I grab my sponge and this lasagna-soaked pan..."
swell: adjective; stylish; elegant
"Once upon a time I dreamt of having two homes - one cozy house in the country and one swell apartment in the city...with servants!"
versimilitude: noun; the appearance or semblance of truth; likelihood; probability
"Of course, that dream was completely lacking in versimilitude."
domesticity: noun; the state of being domestic; home life
"Ah, the bliss of domesticity!"
"Marihuana is that drug -- a violent narcotic --an unspeakable scourge -- The Real Public Enemy Number One !"
What a great word - scourge. And then they used it again...and again...and again! It was then that I realized that I really need to try to work that word into conversations more often. And then I remembered that there is a whole list of words that I love that don't get the use that they deserve.
Let's start with dear old scourge - shall we?
scourge: noun; a cause of affliction or calamity
"These dirty dishes are a scourge on my feng shui."
onomatopoeia: noun; the formation of a word, as cuckoo, meow, honk, or boom, by imitation of a sound made by or associated with its referent
"There has to be a more descriptive onomatopoeia for the noise that my husband is making while he's sleeping in the recliner."
minion: noun; a servile follower or subordinate of a person in power.
"Dear, as my minion, it's your job to do the dishes - not mine."
superfluous: adjective; being more than is sufficient or required; excessive; unnecessary or needless.
"While I appreciate the fact that you were getting in a good nap and didn't want to wake up, flipping me off while you walk into the kitchen is a bit superfluous, don't you think?"
abdicate: verb; to give up or renounce
"Fine! If you're abdicating your responsibilities, I guess it falls to me...as usual"
disdain: noun; a feeling of contempt for anything regarded as unworthy
"It is with disdain that I grab my sponge and this lasagna-soaked pan..."
swell: adjective; stylish; elegant
"Once upon a time I dreamt of having two homes - one cozy house in the country and one swell apartment in the city...with servants!"
versimilitude: noun; the appearance or semblance of truth; likelihood; probability
"Of course, that dream was completely lacking in versimilitude."
domesticity: noun; the state of being domestic; home life
"Ah, the bliss of domesticity!"
Friday, December 16, 2011
how do you say "voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir" in italian?
Oh, how I love languages other than English. One of my goals on my bucket list is to learn Latin (and maybe Russian). As a small town girl, I don't get much exposure to other languages. We don't get many people here from other countries. There were the AFS students that we had in high school but they were only speaking English - how boring. We've always had quite a few Mexican immigrants who speak Spanish as a primary language, but um, no. And don't forget the standard staples of French and Spanish throughout middle and high school, but asking questions like "Where is the library?" and "Hello, my name is ____. What is your name?" get old very fast. The only French I really remember is how to say "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun." I don't eat Big Macs - this will not be useful to me. Oh, I remember a few curse words that came in handy when my son was younger and I didn't want to swear around him as well, but that might be 4-5 words max.
Since I can't speak other languages (other than those few choice phrases and the songs that I sing in Latin in choir), I have learned to love listening to other people instead. Namely men. Namely extremely attractive men. Preferably speaking Italian or Russian.
Words like "mozzarella" and "linguine" do not work for me. I need sentences. Poetry. I want to hear the language flow from them like honey, and I want them to woo me with it. Yes - woo. And then they can have their way with me. That's all. It's not so difficult, is it? I would not get as...um...er...frisky as Jaime Lee Curtis did in A Fish Called Wanda, but I would certainly melt and lose any strength to say no. (And let me throw in a disclaimer here - my love of men speaking these languages is not due to this movie at all. In fact, I had completely forgotten about that trait of hers until I watched the movie again last year. My love of listening to the Italian language started in college, and Russian back when White Nights came out - blame Baryshnikov.)
Alas, I don't know any men who fit this bill.. How unfortunate for me (and how fortunate for my husband) that we don't have the money to travel. Maybe I'll have to invest in some Rosetta Stone software for him. I'm sure he's always wanted to know Italian, you know - since he doesn't have a single drop of Italian blood in him.
Merde.
Since I can't speak other languages (other than those few choice phrases and the songs that I sing in Latin in choir), I have learned to love listening to other people instead. Namely men. Namely extremely attractive men. Preferably speaking Italian or Russian.
Words like "mozzarella" and "linguine" do not work for me. I need sentences. Poetry. I want to hear the language flow from them like honey, and I want them to woo me with it. Yes - woo. And then they can have their way with me. That's all. It's not so difficult, is it? I would not get as...um...er...frisky as Jaime Lee Curtis did in A Fish Called Wanda, but I would certainly melt and lose any strength to say no. (And let me throw in a disclaimer here - my love of men speaking these languages is not due to this movie at all. In fact, I had completely forgotten about that trait of hers until I watched the movie again last year. My love of listening to the Italian language started in college, and Russian back when White Nights came out - blame Baryshnikov.)
Alas, I don't know any men who fit this bill.. How unfortunate for me (and how fortunate for my husband) that we don't have the money to travel. Maybe I'll have to invest in some Rosetta Stone software for him. I'm sure he's always wanted to know Italian, you know - since he doesn't have a single drop of Italian blood in him.
Merde.
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
dissecting a christmas "classic"
The year was 1984.
I was 9 and in 4th grade.
There was major famine in Ethiopia. (Coincidentally, I had just been part of a "school Olympics" team and we had picked the country of Ethiopia out of a hat to represent. I never made the connection. My blond hair, blue eyes and extremely pale skin did not really represent Ethiopia well.)
A couple of people had the idea to get a huge group of celebrities together and do a song to help raise money for famine relief.
The group was called Band Aid, and the song - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
A wonderful cause to get behind. All of those famous people. (Um, did anyone tell Bananarama that they were filming a video? Way to dress for the occasion.) Wow!
But let's take a moment and look at those lyrics, shall we?
"We let in light and we banish shade."
Isn't the light and the lack of shade one of the problems? They needed shade...clouds...RAIN! Don't banish the one thing that might help them.
"Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time."
This was 1984...the Reagan era. I think we had plenty of arms around the world...year-round.
Then we get melodramatic:
"...And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."
Clanging chimes of doom? When doom comes, is it accompanied by chimes? Is there a constant clanging going on in the plains of Africa? I get it - it's supposed to be poetic, but it's a stretch. Personally, I'd rather have the Doom Song sung by Gir...
Then enter awesome Bono solo. Everybody sing along....
"Well tonight thank God it's them instead of youuuuuuuu!"
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
Well no shit, Sherlock. First-off, Ethiopia itself lies between latitudes 3° and 15°N. (Okay, I had to look up those actual numbers) This means it's just north of the equator. Its altitudes aren't extremely high, so this means no snow. Secondly, the rest of Africa, which is now being lumped as a whole in the song, is quite large and though they might get some snow in Morocco waaaayyyy up in the mountains around Christmas, the countries south of the equator are just beginning summer in December. If they get snow in South Africa - it will be in August. Didn't you pay attention in school?
"Do they know it's Christmastime at all?"
Actually, they celebrate Christmas in January. And it's not called Christmas, it's called Ganna. And it's not about gift-giving. You can read more about it here.
Ah well, it still raised a whole-lotta money for a good cause. I still listen to it every year...and chuckle...and sing along with Bono.
I was 9 and in 4th grade.
There was major famine in Ethiopia. (Coincidentally, I had just been part of a "school Olympics" team and we had picked the country of Ethiopia out of a hat to represent. I never made the connection. My blond hair, blue eyes and extremely pale skin did not really represent Ethiopia well.)
A couple of people had the idea to get a huge group of celebrities together and do a song to help raise money for famine relief.
The group was called Band Aid, and the song - "Do They Know It's Christmas?"
A wonderful cause to get behind. All of those famous people. (Um, did anyone tell Bananarama that they were filming a video? Way to dress for the occasion.) Wow!
But let's take a moment and look at those lyrics, shall we?
"We let in light and we banish shade."
Isn't the light and the lack of shade one of the problems? They needed shade...clouds...RAIN! Don't banish the one thing that might help them.
"Throw your arms around the world at Christmas time."
This was 1984...the Reagan era. I think we had plenty of arms around the world...year-round.
Then we get melodramatic:
"...And the Christmas bells that ring there are the clanging chimes of doom."
Clanging chimes of doom? When doom comes, is it accompanied by chimes? Is there a constant clanging going on in the plains of Africa? I get it - it's supposed to be poetic, but it's a stretch. Personally, I'd rather have the Doom Song sung by Gir...
Then enter awesome Bono solo. Everybody sing along....
"Well tonight thank God it's them instead of youuuuuuuu!"
"And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime."
Well no shit, Sherlock. First-off, Ethiopia itself lies between latitudes 3° and 15°N. (Okay, I had to look up those actual numbers) This means it's just north of the equator. Its altitudes aren't extremely high, so this means no snow. Secondly, the rest of Africa, which is now being lumped as a whole in the song, is quite large and though they might get some snow in Morocco waaaayyyy up in the mountains around Christmas, the countries south of the equator are just beginning summer in December. If they get snow in South Africa - it will be in August. Didn't you pay attention in school?
"Do they know it's Christmastime at all?"
Actually, they celebrate Christmas in January. And it's not called Christmas, it's called Ganna. And it's not about gift-giving. You can read more about it here.
Ah well, it still raised a whole-lotta money for a good cause. I still listen to it every year...and chuckle...and sing along with Bono.
Monday, December 12, 2011
coldfinger
For some reason I just cannot get warm. I haven't been able to stay warm since the temps went below 50 degrees around here. I feel like I should always be wearing gloves since my fingers are constantly cold and a scarf to warm my large-ish nose.
I used to be a cold weather person. I always said that you can always add layers, but can only take so many off. And while that still holds true, I never used to get cold as easily as I have been this year. I'm not sure what the difference is. As my friend at work has said repeatedly, I'm "getting up there in age" and it's a common problem of the elderly. (This from a man who is a whopping five years younger than I am and hobbles around like an 80-year-old because of his bad back.) Personally, I'd like to think it's because I've lost some of my insulation. Not so much blubber to warm me. Unfortunately, the reason is probably closer to the "good natured" ribbing that my friend gives me.
I enjoy winter and snow. I love the muffled silence when the snow falls and the beauty of the patterns in undisturbed snowdrifts. It's just hard to get out and enjoy it when my teeth are chattering so hard that I get motion sickness when I'm standing still. Once I get inside to warm up, it takes me forever. I keep a chill for hours. I can sit by the fireplace, wrap myself in a blanket, put on my knee socks and a big sweatshirt, and still be shivering on the inside. I just can't seem to shake it.
I think this year I'm going to have to stock up on gear that makes me look like I'm getting ready to climb Mt. Everest. And wear it around the house. I'll have the sexy Sherpa look going on.
Yeah, I'm never going to have sex this winter looking like that, am I?
I used to be a cold weather person. I always said that you can always add layers, but can only take so many off. And while that still holds true, I never used to get cold as easily as I have been this year. I'm not sure what the difference is. As my friend at work has said repeatedly, I'm "getting up there in age" and it's a common problem of the elderly. (This from a man who is a whopping five years younger than I am and hobbles around like an 80-year-old because of his bad back.) Personally, I'd like to think it's because I've lost some of my insulation. Not so much blubber to warm me. Unfortunately, the reason is probably closer to the "good natured" ribbing that my friend gives me.
I enjoy winter and snow. I love the muffled silence when the snow falls and the beauty of the patterns in undisturbed snowdrifts. It's just hard to get out and enjoy it when my teeth are chattering so hard that I get motion sickness when I'm standing still. Once I get inside to warm up, it takes me forever. I keep a chill for hours. I can sit by the fireplace, wrap myself in a blanket, put on my knee socks and a big sweatshirt, and still be shivering on the inside. I just can't seem to shake it.
I think this year I'm going to have to stock up on gear that makes me look like I'm getting ready to climb Mt. Everest. And wear it around the house. I'll have the sexy Sherpa look going on.
Yeah, I'm never going to have sex this winter looking like that, am I?
Wednesday, December 7, 2011
the greatest speech in the world and the worst mother
Last night, we watched a video that's going viral on the geek circuit of the speech from the end of The Great Dictator set to video from Star Wars: The Clone Wars. I'm not a fan of the animated series, but it was pretty well done. Anyway, my son fell in love with the speech and decided he wanted to make a video of it put to scenes from the Halo video games. (My son lives in a world that revolves around video games, but if he uses it in creative ways as well, I don't mind it so much.) I loved the fact that he was inspired by those words written so long ago that still hold true today, so I told him the story behind it - that it was written for a movie that satirized the Nazis back in 1940, before the US even entered the war. That it was ahead of it's time, was sometimes considered the greatest speech ever written, and that it was done by Charlie Chaplin.
"Who's Charlie Chaplin?"
My heart sank. We tried reminding him of the guy with the funny mustache, hat and cane. Nope, wasn't ringing a bell.
In this moment, I knew that I had failed him as a mother.
I will be rectifying this, however, over the weekend when I make him sit and watch at least one Chaplin short. He'll hate it because he dislikes anything "old" and especially black and white (I can't wait to see what he thinks about having to actually READ words on the screen.), but he will watch it and my duty as a mother will be fulfilled.
Who's Charlie Chaplin? Sheesh!
For those of you who don't know what speech I'm talking about, here's a clip from the original movie. I highly recommend that you watch the full movie at some point in your lives...put it on your bucket list.
"Who's Charlie Chaplin?"
My heart sank. We tried reminding him of the guy with the funny mustache, hat and cane. Nope, wasn't ringing a bell.
In this moment, I knew that I had failed him as a mother.
I will be rectifying this, however, over the weekend when I make him sit and watch at least one Chaplin short. He'll hate it because he dislikes anything "old" and especially black and white (I can't wait to see what he thinks about having to actually READ words on the screen.), but he will watch it and my duty as a mother will be fulfilled.
Who's Charlie Chaplin? Sheesh!
For those of you who don't know what speech I'm talking about, here's a clip from the original movie. I highly recommend that you watch the full movie at some point in your lives...put it on your bucket list.
Saturday, December 3, 2011
a heaping pile of holiday cheer
We finally bit the bullet and decided to start decorating our apartment for Christmas today. It's never an easy task. We don't even have that much to display - one box of decorations, one tree and the lights/decorations for that tree. That's it. But getting those few things out are the makings of WWIII in this house.
It starts with the young one. He would rather not be bothered with it. There are video games to be played and movies to watch instead. Decorating is so boring. "Why can't you just do it?"
Then there's the husband who knows that the tree will frustrate him to no end. Undoubtedly, at least one string of lights on the pre-lit tree will be out, then after two hours of changing fuses and wiggling bulbs around and having them miraculously pop on for no reason, the branches will still have to be fluffed creating dust clouds that induce sneezing for another three hours while we try to distribute our ancient ornaments evenly amongst the rayon "needles." "We don't have to worry about Santa anymore. Can't we just get a table-top tree?"
Don't these guys know the way decorating is supposed to go? We're supposed to put on sweaters, drink egg nog, listen to our favorite Christmas carols (while singing along, of course), and hang the stockings by the chimney with care with tons of love in our hearts and big freaking smiles on our faces, dammit!
After opting out of the cable holiday music channel when they started playing cheesy Vanessa Williams versions of songs, we put on A Christmas Story, and brought up the boxes, cracked open the store-bought egg nog and got to work. The hubster commenced assembling the tree while the son and I started unloading the box of assorted wall and shelf decor.
Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la la la la la...
It didn't take long before the kid was sitting on the couch watching the movie. I'd give him something else to put somewhere, he'd do it and then sit right back down again. Soon after that, a deep growling noise came from the tree area. It wasn't either of our dogs, no, it was my husband. He had plugged in the tree and, as expected, half of the lights weren't lit. I tried calming him down with suggestions of simple things like looking for plugs that weren't plugged in or checking for loose bulbs, but he didn't seem to appreciate my help.
I backed away slowly and resumed forcing the kid to help me with the other stuff, but it didn't last long because mere minutes later, dearest hubby was yelling at the lights. His large fingers couldn't grab the tiny fuses that he was trying to take out of the plugs. I helped him with those and got up to find the kid back on the couch. Hubster got up to find more fuses, but couldn't. That went over well. He went across town to buy fuses and/or lights and left us to continue with the rest. Most of my time was spent getting the kid to keep moving, but somehow we got things taken care of before he got back home, fuses in hand, swearing he's never going out there again.
'Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la la la la la...
He replaced the fuses in one string of lights and they popped on. Success! This should work for all of them, right?
Wrong.
After a few more tries and a few more choice words for the lights, he decided to give up before tearing the whole thing apart with his bare hands. "That's it! We're getting a new f---ing tree!" Looking at the kid on the couch, and the steam coming out of hubby's ears, I conceded.
Fa la la la la la la la...oh forget it.
Of course, we can't afford a new tree until next week, so we sit with a big hole in the living room where the tree's supposed to go, and blood pressure levels that have skyrocketed. At least we have one festive and very important area of our home...the "bar"
I have a feeling it's going to get a lot of use this holiday season.
Oh, and next year, I'm just going to handle the decorating on my own. And I'll be wearing a holiday sweater, listening to John Denver & the Muppets sing Christmas songs, and smiling.
Fa la FREAKING la!
It starts with the young one. He would rather not be bothered with it. There are video games to be played and movies to watch instead. Decorating is so boring. "Why can't you just do it?"
Then there's the husband who knows that the tree will frustrate him to no end. Undoubtedly, at least one string of lights on the pre-lit tree will be out, then after two hours of changing fuses and wiggling bulbs around and having them miraculously pop on for no reason, the branches will still have to be fluffed creating dust clouds that induce sneezing for another three hours while we try to distribute our ancient ornaments evenly amongst the rayon "needles." "We don't have to worry about Santa anymore. Can't we just get a table-top tree?"
Don't these guys know the way decorating is supposed to go? We're supposed to put on sweaters, drink egg nog, listen to our favorite Christmas carols (while singing along, of course), and hang the stockings by the chimney with care with tons of love in our hearts and big freaking smiles on our faces, dammit!
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| Do they look happy or what? |
Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Fa la la la la la la la la...
It didn't take long before the kid was sitting on the couch watching the movie. I'd give him something else to put somewhere, he'd do it and then sit right back down again. Soon after that, a deep growling noise came from the tree area. It wasn't either of our dogs, no, it was my husband. He had plugged in the tree and, as expected, half of the lights weren't lit. I tried calming him down with suggestions of simple things like looking for plugs that weren't plugged in or checking for loose bulbs, but he didn't seem to appreciate my help.
I backed away slowly and resumed forcing the kid to help me with the other stuff, but it didn't last long because mere minutes later, dearest hubby was yelling at the lights. His large fingers couldn't grab the tiny fuses that he was trying to take out of the plugs. I helped him with those and got up to find the kid back on the couch. Hubster got up to find more fuses, but couldn't. That went over well. He went across town to buy fuses and/or lights and left us to continue with the rest. Most of my time was spent getting the kid to keep moving, but somehow we got things taken care of before he got back home, fuses in hand, swearing he's never going out there again.
'Tis the season to be jolly. Fa la la la la la la la la...
He replaced the fuses in one string of lights and they popped on. Success! This should work for all of them, right?
Wrong.
After a few more tries and a few more choice words for the lights, he decided to give up before tearing the whole thing apart with his bare hands. "That's it! We're getting a new f---ing tree!" Looking at the kid on the couch, and the steam coming out of hubby's ears, I conceded.
Fa la la la la la la la...oh forget it.
Of course, we can't afford a new tree until next week, so we sit with a big hole in the living room where the tree's supposed to go, and blood pressure levels that have skyrocketed. At least we have one festive and very important area of our home...the "bar"
I have a feeling it's going to get a lot of use this holiday season.
Oh, and next year, I'm just going to handle the decorating on my own. And I'll be wearing a holiday sweater, listening to John Denver & the Muppets sing Christmas songs, and smiling.
Fa la FREAKING la!
Friday, December 2, 2011
sunrise, sunset
You've got the song going through your head now, don't you?
Sorry, I'm referring to actual sunrises and sunsets.
I seem to have this fascination with them - no idea when it started or where it came from, but if I see beautiful colors in the sky, I just have to snap a picture. Therefore, my hard drive is full of pinks, oranges, blues and yellows.
Here...see what I mean?
And it's not only at home that I'm taking pictures. I have them from vacations:
And I have a terrible habit of snapping pictures with my phone while I'm on the road:
Sunrises...
Sorry, I'm referring to actual sunrises and sunsets.
I seem to have this fascination with them - no idea when it started or where it came from, but if I see beautiful colors in the sky, I just have to snap a picture. Therefore, my hard drive is full of pinks, oranges, blues and yellows.
Here...see what I mean?
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| Sunrise from my window |
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| Sunset from a neighborhood walk |
And it's not only at home that I'm taking pictures. I have them from vacations:
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| Sunset in New Mexico |
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| Sunset in South Dakota |
And I have a terrible habit of snapping pictures with my phone while I'm on the road:
Sunrises...
Sunsets:
I think I have some sort of sickness or addiction or something. It could kill me. Do they have twelve-step programs for people like me?
Oh, and so you can take care of that little earworm I planted...
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