a toast to my health! wait...scratch that

I went to my first old person physical a few weeks ago. You know, the kind where they try to figure out all the different ways you're dying faster than you should be and then prescribe 5 new pills for you to take everyday?

I'm overweight, I have heart disease on both sides of my family that stretches back generations, I don't eat kale and legumes and quinoa at every meal, and I like cheese. I was expecting to be lectured, put on a strict diet, and given at least cholesterol meds.

But I wasn't.

All of my tests came back just fine! That paired with the fact that I exercise at least 5 times a week, cut out alcohol, have never smoked, and drink lots of water, my new doctor a very happy camper! Sure, I need to lose weight, and I'm already working on that (down 10 lbs in the past month), but that's it. I couldn't believe it! I only have a 0.6% chance of having a heart attack or stroke in the next 10 years. Other than the whole cancer thing, I'm a very healthy human being.

So now I just have to keep doing what I've been doing (thank goodness none of it was a New Year's resolution), and I should be immortal.

Well...in theory.