renaissance

Ren·ais·sance  [ren-uh-sahns, -zahns, -sahns, ren-uh-sahns, -zahns, -sahns] 
noun 
      (lowercase) a renewal of life, vigor, interest, etc.; rebirth; revival: a moral renaissance.
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Remember that funk that I was talking about before?  It actually lasted quite some time.  It started long before I posted that entry, but I hadn't really realized it.  Looking back at some of my posts before that one, I can see it.  

I let myself go, not caring, no direction, no goal, just getting by.  

I had stopped exercising, stopped meditating, ate anything and everything without a second thought about carbs or calories or cholesterol, sat around the apartment after work doing nothing.  I was becoming a sloth.  
Then I saw what was going on.  I gained 15 pounds from the lowest weight I had been at which was about this same time last year.  15 pounds!  I tried running again and where I was once able to run 5 miles, I could barely make it around the block.  I wasn't happy.  Not with myself, my job, what I was doing (or not doing) with my life so after a short amount of time dwelling in self-pity, I came to a decision:

On Tuesday, I will be starting over.  My own renaissance.  I will be exercising every morning again - I am so looking forward so kicking my own ass once again before heading to the office.  I have updated my resume and will actively pursue the search for a new way to spend 8.5 hours per weekday.  I will be meditating daily.  I will be drastically lowering my carb intake and watching my portion sizes again.  I will be cutting way back on my alcohol - limiting it to weekends only.  I'm thinking I should be able to lose that 15 pounds again in 2 to 3 months.  Thankfully my awesome husband will be doing the same so we'll be able to help each other along the way.  Oh - and I had a good length of my hair chopped off.  Perhaps symbolic, perhaps just in need of a change.

I'm putting this out there so I know that people have seen it and will hold me accountable.  I'm pretty good at doing something once I have a goal - I just needed that goal to work towards.  Bear with me as I post from time to time on my progress and please...I could use all the encouragement I can get. That self-confidence level is in need of a boost again.  :)

Here comes Rebecca version 3.0