The ramblings of a somewhat bawdy, opinionated, pop-culture-loving thirty-some-year-old woman who feels like sharing her random thoughts with the world.
Because I'm extremely frustrated, in need of an escape, have no money with which to do so, need a new job, wish the school year was over so I wouldn't have to force my kid to do homework without feeling the need to tie him to a chair to do so, yadda, yadda, yadda, I've found myself looking for items that I loved as a child. Here are some that I've found that will hopefully bring a smile to your face as well.
Doesn't this just reek of being a kid - and not a bad reek, more like a bread was baking in the oven, but it's been sitting on the counter for a while kind of reek.
I played with this thing a ton!
And I was a Barbie freak. I had this one - thought the astronaut by day/party girl by night outfit with shoulder-poufs the size of Alaska were something to aspire to. "We girls can do anything!"
Zug-zug
White Nights - I've watched this movie hundreds of times and never tire of it.
I was also a Michael Jackson fanatic back in the days of Thriller, but looking back, I think my favorite album of his was Off The Wall. It was him before he started going a little off-kilter.
Yup. Had it. Most of my "Ponies" were unicorns and pegasuses (or is it pegasi?) Hard to stick a sunbonnet on a unicorn.
And last but certainly not least.....
Our old pal, Grover. Who didn't love Grover? He was sweet, friendly, sometimes even Super. He was the epitome of childhood innocence, 20x better than Elmo,
and thankfully we never realized how similar his voice was to Yoda's.
What? Does that sound morbid? Pick your jaw up off of the floor and let me explain. I've already been through the wedding part of my life. It was nice, simple, good enough for us. We're not going to have another one - don't need a dream wedding, so what's the next major life event that gets a big gathering? (My son's life events don't count - those are for him) I suppose it would be my funeral, wouldn't it? Now, now...don't go getting into some sort of a tizzy, I'm in no way making light of loss. (Of course, if you're sensitive to the topic, I would suggest you stop reading now as I don't want to accidentally offend anyone.) Death is a part of life - sometimes it comes far too soon, but inevitably, it comes. I might as well put my preferences out there for everyone to see. It doesn't have to be uncomfortable - it can actually be quite pleasant.
The service will be pretty small, I'm sure. We're in a small town, almost all of my friends have moved away, our family is spread out across the nation. I guess it will just be at one of the local funeral homes since I'm not a church person. And speaking of the whole not churchy thing...who would officiate? Hmmm...that's a good question. I wouldn't want to put any of my friends on the spot. I'm going to have to put some thought into that.
Okay, during the beginning of the memorial service, as people are walking in, I want Mozart's Requiem to be played. I guess it's fitting that one of my favorite pieces of music of all time is a death mass. So beautiful, so dramatic, so powerful. Just as the service is about to begin, they should be playing Lacrimosa. This will be where they stop the Requiem. It's not the official end, but it's where I've always wished it ended.
And right after the dramatic ending, I want everyone to be directed to pick up the hymnals that are inevitably right in front of them, and turn to a tv toward the front of the room, and participate along with the monks in this scene.
You see, though it might be a sad occasion, I still want people to smile and laugh and be thrown off guard in a good way. I think Monty Python is the right way to go.
I don't have any bible verses I want read (see reason above), my mind works in lines from movies and song lyrics. I think people should come up and recite whatever they hear that makes them think of me. Something that should have been my theme song, a line that is just so me that every time they hear it, I pop up in their mind automatically. I'd absolutely LOVE that.
Throw in whatever else you want after that, but at the end of it all, I want the people there to participate in something I've always wanted to do...a big Hey Jude singalong! Seriously! Everybody knows the words...at least the end of the song. Everybody sings along whether they originally want to or not. It's like the "Five golden rings" part of the Twelve Days of Christmas. You just inherently sing along with it - it's somehow crept into our DNA. And the best part - everybody ends up smiling. And that's how I want people leaving - SMILING.
So, there you have it. My dream funeral. I'm sure it will change a bit as time goes on, but I want to keep the happiness factor the same no matter what. One of my goals in life is to make as many people smile as I can, even if only for a moment. I can at least try to do the same after I'm gone as well.
Oh, and a word of warning - if you do attend and don't sing along, I'll be sure to haunt you for the next 5 years after that.
(Okay, I started writing this post a looooong time ago and never got around to finishing it. Sue me. No, don't. I have no money.)
In geekdom, this is a sacred holiday. It's Star Wars Day! Why? So all of us can go around posting "May the Fourth be with you" on Facebook, Twitter and every other annoyingly memeful social media outlet imaginable. It was a day to don my Han Solo / James Bond mashup t-shirt (my favoritest shirt) and let my geek flag fly.
I bought this baby on riptapparel.com.
Sorry, it was only available for a day.
This year, the day was doubly exciting for people because it was also Free Comic Book Day. Now, I've never been a comic book person. I mean, I might have had two when I was a kid, but I just never got into it. My son has been into graphic novels ever since he learned how to read, but never really had access to comic books, so he was somewhat interested in going to get a few freebies to find out if it was something he'd like to get into.
Sure, I'm game for new experiences - especially the ones with the word "FREE" in them.
We headed out into the nearest comic store that was listed on the official Free Comic Book Day website and were greeted by two of the most stereotypical comic book "nerds" in the world. They took one look at us, sighed, and said "Free Comic Book Day?" I smiled and nodded. They pointed to the back corner and said "Follow the path to the back corner." Ooookay. Thanks?
Per their directions, we followed the path to the back corner. There we found wall displays of the latest issues of the standards - The Avengers, Superman, Wonder Woman, The Walking Dead, and a few anthologies for $35, and then there was a big bin of back issues that were 50% off. A logical place to start, right? Unfortunately there was no rhyme nor reason that we could see as to how they were arranged. I'm sure there probably was some system, but being new to a store of this type, we couldn't see it. Of course there was nobody there offering to help. In fact it seemed like they hated this day for the very reason that it was created - exposing a new group of people to the immense world of comics.
After digging around for a while, we finally decided on three back issues along with two of the free offerings. The kid was sooo ready to get out of there. Apparently girls in bright pink wigs and men with bad BO who look like they live in basements aren't his cup of tea. And neither are comic book stores.
So, we bought our sampling of comics and went back home where I celebrated Star Wars Day with a movie marathon and he went back to his video games. Geeks we are, but apparently not of the Comic Book Genus.
I wonder how many spiders I'm going to end up swallowing tonight.
I've got a pocket, got a pocketful of sunshine... Oh my god, make it stop!!!
What was that noise? I can't get murdered tonight, I'm wearing my period underwear!
Too hot! Blanket off. Too cold! Blanket back on. Leg out. Ahhhh....just right.
Hello, husband. Thank you for repeatedly putting your elbow into my spine. I do not need to sleep tonight.
So, if a fire broke out in-between my room and my son's room, would I be able to break through the wall to get to him? These apartments were built pretty crappy. Yeah, I could take that wall.
If my husband gave a free pass to be with any of the men that I swoon over (and they had to go along with it) who would I choose? Do I choose by the mood I'm in? Do I choose based on who I think would be the least repulsed by me? Do I have to choose only one? How can I only choose one?!
Oh man, are they fighting downstairs again? What if they own a gun and it accidentally goes off and shoots one of us in our sleep?
This is the song that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was and they'll continue singing it forever just because this is the song that doesn't end. Yes it goes on and on my friend. Some people started singing it not knowing what it was...
Okay, if I fall asleep now, I could probably still get 5 hours and be okay tomorrow, right? Who am I kidding. I'm old. I'll be able to pack for a month-long trip to the Alps in the bags that are going to be under my eyes.
Today is the day that my cohort in admin duties and I take bets as to whether or not the people around the office will remember Administrative Professionals Day (the holiday formerly known as secretary's day) tomorrow.
Once upon a time, we were treated to lunch out, alcohol and gifts. As time went on we had lunch in, then a plant, then it was forgotten altogether and we were given "Oh crap!" gifts in the afternoon when a manager had time to go out and grab something quick from the local grocery store during her hour-and-a-half lunch break. Last year, the two of us took ourselves out to lunch because we had no mention of the day at all...until someone asked us why we went out, word got around to our managers and someone ended up ordering flowers that arrived 2 minutes before we left for the day. Look, it's not the gifts that matter, it's knowing that maybe for one day, for one moment, they'll say, "Hey...you're kind of helpful. You do good work. Thanks!"
If you're reading this and you know anyone who falls under the "Administrative Professional" title whether they're in your office, if you talk to them on the phone, or if they're a friend of yours, please take a moment tomorrow and thank them for what they do. They probably don't hear it nearly as often as they should.
Something I saw on the internet today that I had to share:
David Bowie's Package
This is a group game requiring at least two players, the more the merrier!
Anyone who has watched Labyrinth is aware that David Bowie (playing the Goblin King) is wearing tights that leave nothing to the imagination and frequently juggles crystal balls during this film.
Whenever you see a little too much of what Bowie's packing, shout "David Bowie's Package!" The last one to shout must drink.
Whenever Bowie starts juggling the crystal balls, shout "He's playing with his balls again!" The last one to shout must drink.
If you call "David Bowie's Package!" or "He's playing with his balls again!" incorrectly you must drink instead.
Optional extra rule: whenever a character who is not played by Bowie starts a song, shout "Stop that infernal racket!" The last person to do so must drink. This only counts if the first person to sing is not Bowie.
If you call "Stop that infernal racket!" and Bowie was the first one to start singing, you have displeased the Goblin King: drink until the song ends.
I think this is a great excuse to have a party, don't you?
The husband and I were going through a list of summer movie releases and trying to figure out which ones we were going to shell out $30 to see at the theater. We really only go out to movies when we know that only a big screen will do them justice.
We both said Iron Man 3 immediately and he chimed in with the new Star Trek movie, which I couldn't care less about, but that's him. He also mentioned that he wanted to see the new Superman movie, Man of Steel. I was completely let down by Superman Returns and have been completely leery of this new take on Supe as well.
Until last night.
The new trailer came out and instead of little vignettes, it showed actual action and emotion and, well, I'm a little more hopeful now.
Christopher Reeve will always be Superman to me. It's the era I was raised in. I had a secret crush on him for years when I was a kid. Henry Cavill?
Yeah, I think I can make a little room for him in my vision of the ideal Superman...as long as the rest of the movie doesn't disappoint.
Why do we wait until it's too late to tell someone "Thank you" or compliment them on an admirable trait or apologize for one of those things you did when you were young and foolish but you now look back at and cringe? I've been to far too many memorial services recently where I heard (and sometimes thought), "If I had only told them..." Well, why didn't you?
Why not just do it now?
When you friend that person on facebook or see them at the county fair or even at your next class reunion, say those things that you've always wanted to say but haven't had the opportunity (or nerve) to. Tell them they always had a great smile. Let them know you had the biggest crush on them in high school. Thank them for making you smile during a point in your life when you felt really low.
There's nothing better than hearing something positive from someone. Wouldn't you love to hear something like that? Many people wonder if anyone has ever really noticed them or if they've made a difference to anyone. Let them know. Spread the love.
Because I seem to be having a low day today, (feeling fat, old, stuck, melancholy, ancient, achy, unaccomplished, uninteresting, lethargic, and did I mention old?), I decided to try to enlighten and enrich my day with this Massive Attack song. I'm not sure that it worked, but it still has a good message so I thought I'd share it with you.
