my dream funeral

What?  Does that sound morbid?  Pick your jaw up off of the floor and let me explain.  I've already been through the wedding part of my life.  It was nice, simple, good enough for us.  We're not going to have another one - don't need a dream wedding, so what's the next major life event that gets a big gathering? (My son's life events don't count - those are for him)  I suppose it would be my funeral, wouldn't it?  Now, now...don't go getting into some sort of a tizzy, I'm in no way making light of loss.  (Of course, if you're sensitive to the topic, I would suggest you stop reading now as I don't want to accidentally offend anyone.)  Death is a part of life - sometimes it comes far too soon, but inevitably, it comes.  I might as well put my preferences out there for everyone to see.  It doesn't have to be uncomfortable - it can actually be quite pleasant.

The service will be pretty small, I'm sure.  We're in a small town, almost all of my friends have moved away, our family is spread out across the nation.  I guess it will just be at one of the local funeral homes since I'm not a church person.  And speaking of the whole not churchy thing...who would officiate?  Hmmm...that's a good question.  I wouldn't want to put any of my friends on the spot.  I'm going to have to put some thought into that.

Okay, during the beginning of the memorial service, as people are walking in, I want Mozart's Requiem to be played.  I guess it's fitting that one of my favorite pieces of music of all time is a death mass.  So beautiful, so dramatic, so powerful.  Just as the service is about to begin, they should be playing Lacrimosa.  This will be where they stop the Requiem.  It's not the official end, but it's where I've always wished it ended.


And right after the dramatic ending, I want everyone to be directed to pick up the hymnals that are inevitably right in front of them, and turn to a tv toward the front of the room, and participate along with the monks in this scene.

You see, though it might be a sad occasion, I still want people to smile and laugh and be thrown off guard in a good way.  I think Monty Python is the right way to go.   

I don't have any bible verses I want read (see reason above), my mind works in lines from movies and song lyrics.  I think people should come up and recite whatever they hear that makes them think of me.  Something that should have been my theme song, a line that is just so me that every time they hear it, I pop up in their mind automatically.  I'd absolutely LOVE that.
 

Throw in whatever else you want after that, but at the end of it all, I want the people there to participate in something I've always wanted to do...a big Hey Jude singalong!  Seriously!  Everybody knows the words...at least the end of the song.  Everybody sings along whether they originally want to or not.  It's like the "Five golden rings" part of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  You just inherently sing along with it - it's somehow crept into our DNA.  And the best part - everybody ends up smiling.  And that's how I want people leaving - SMILING. 

     

So, there you have it.  My dream funeral.  I'm sure it will change a bit as time goes on, but I want to keep the happiness factor the same no matter what.  One of my goals in life is to make as many people smile as I can, even if only for a moment.  I can at least try to do the same after I'm gone as well. 

Oh, and a word of warning - if you do attend and don't sing along, I'll be sure to haunt you for the next 5 years after that.