train of thought

I love taking the train into the city.  No bumper to bumper traffic, no tolls, no worrying about getting lost, just 2 hours of relaxation while someone else does the driving. 

I used to ride the train every weekend from my college life back to my hometown to be with my then fiancee and back again on Monday.  I sat quietly on the train listening to my portable CD player through my  headphones.  I carried at least 3 CD's with me, usually Madonna, Sting and Peter Gabriel at the time, along with a backpack full of laundry, a book that I'd probably never read because of my motion sickness, and the hope that just once I'd fall asleep during the trip.  Others around me would converse with their friends, read a book, paper or magazine, or slump over in their seats getting in that nap that I so wished for.  The occasional pager would go off, but was quickly hushed.

What a difference a few years makes!  Okay, maybe not a few, when I do the math it's more like 20 years.

I took the train again this past week and noticed a completely different scene.  Though the interior of the train hasn't changed and the smell is still exactly the same, people were busy on their gadgets.  Earbuds were firmly implanted in passengers' ears and attached to iPods and iPhones.  Once they were seated, they'd pull out their laptop or tablet and get to work or hop on Facebook.  And then of course there were the people carrying on phone conversations in tones that were by no means hushed.  The man next to me made a point of being loud and sounding important.  In reality, he reminded me far too much of Christian Bale's character in American Psycho.  He was sure to have the latest technology, calling his co-workers "buddy" and "brother" and in the back of my mind I could see him coveting business card designs, visiting the most popular trendy restaurants, staring at himself in the mirror as he's screwing his latest conquest and maybe even a little screwy murder.  But I digress...

Totally this guy

And there I sat watching it all.  I felt like such an old-fashioned girl sitting there with my backpack, my book, no music, (ok, the occasional check of my smartphone), and the ever-fading hope that just once I'd fall asleep during the trip.  I guess some things never change.

screeeeeeech!

Oh, I think I've found the thing that irritates me as badly as the sound of nails on a chalkboard does for most other people.  (Oddly it never really bugged me that much.) 

I was just sent an email about a Toys for Tots campaign that's going on.  It's a great thing - a way for people to be involved and help others, but there's something I just can't get past...

On the email and the attached document that we're supposed to post everywhere, it's listed as "Toy's for Tot's."  Everywhere.  About 30 times between the two items. 

I believe that both Toys and Tots are plural, correct?  They do not possess anything nor are they contractions of "toy is" or "tot is."   Isn't this something kids learn in grade school?   Is it that easily forgotten?  Ooh - maybe the improper use has become contagious as I've seen it more and more frequently on Facebook.  It's like Outbreak, but with less death.

To help people overcome this problem (and to save my inner grammar nerd), I've decided to post this helpful link to a website full of fun games for kids and adults to help them learn all about possessives and contractions and Mister Apostrophe.  I've always wanted to do some good in the world.  Maybe this will be my legacy.

everybody must get stoned

Am I the only adult in the world who has never smoked pot?  Good lord!  And now all this hullabaloo about Colorado and Washington making recreational use legal and now everybody's coming out of the woodwork saying, "Road trip to Colorado!"  Really?  I mean really?  What's so awesome about it? 

Don't get me wrong.  If states want to legalize it, by all means, let them.  I've read and heard the arguments for it and I get it.  I just personally don't want to do it myself.  I mean, I never tried it because 1) It's illegal and I don't like getting in trouble 2) I don't wanna get paranoid and get the munchies which is not at all conducive to weight loss and 3) I really don't want to inhale smoke - especially that stinky stuff.  Blech! If I went to one of those states where it was legal, it would knock one of the three reasons off of my list, but the other two would remain.  (Oh and for those of you who don't get paranoid but get mellow.  I'm already mellow. If I were to get any more mellow, I'd be asleep.)  It just doesn't appeal to me.

So am I a goodie-goodie for never trying it? I don't think so. (I'm not that wholesome...trust me.)  Sure, being a child of the Just Say No generation, that's how my decision against it started. Now it's just a personal preference.  I don't think I've really missed out on anything by not trying it other than getting the humor in Pineapple Express.  That's not a big loss.  Do you think it's something I should experience some day just to say I did it?  Some twisted bucket list item?   Nah.  I'm content without it, thanks.  If anything I'll just go to a Dave Matthews concert and get a contact high someday.

i'm so happy!

It's finally election day!  No more campaign ads!  No more flyers in the mail!  No more phone calls from strangers at odd hours!  No more "...and I approve this message."  I'm so happy I could cry, but I'm not in a good spot for that so instead I'll go old school here and do the Dance of Joy!!!

how to possibly express...

"So sorry"
"You're in our thoughts"
"If there's anything I can do..." 

The standard words of sympathy and support.  What else is there to say?  They feel so expected, stale, and even if the person means it wholeheartedly, they sound hollow. 

So when a friend loses her 11-year-old daughter completely unexpectedly, where do you find the correct words?  This isn't a pet, a friend or even a parent...this is her child.  Someone she carried inside her for 9 months, she was a part of her.  Someone she raised to be one of the most kind and caring, giving people I've ever known of who had already touched so many around her at such a young age.  How can you express the immense amount of hurt you are feeling for her and her family?  The fact that you can't fathom the deluge of emotions and pain and sorrow and excruciating emptiness that they have to be experiencing and that you truly would do anything for them at the drop of a hat?  How do you tell them that you know that though life will be this roller coaster of extreme pain from loss and elation from memories for a while, probably a long while, and things will be different forever, that they will be okay?  They will carry on and she will be with them always - somehow - depending on their beliefs either watching over them from afar, staying with them, or smiling in their hearts through their memories.  No words can bring her back where they want her, where they can hold her, hear her voice, smell her hair...

How do you possibly say anything that can give them any comfort?  

You say, "I'm so sorry, you're in our thoughts and if there's anything we can do, please let us know."  Then you pray, send wishes for healing and strength, think positive thoughts for them, hold them tight if and when you see them, help them out in any way possible, and hope that in some way it alleviates even the smallest bit of pain.

With love...

Avery

(aka "Dotter")

10/5/01 - 10/24/12

A memorial fund has been set up to help the family pay for expenses:

In Memory of Avery

c/o Walworth State Bank

PO Box 66

Walworth, WI 53184

You can read more about the beautiful, kind, caring, unique, funny, lovely Avery and her amazing family at her mom's blog, Stumbling Towards Perfect.

the rants i never post

There have been so many times on Facebook when I've written out a rant and then decided not to hit "Post" because I figure I'm basically preaching to the choir.  Almost all of my friends are above juvenile behavior and for the most part it's the friends of friends comments that get me riled up - they wouldn't see my rants anyway.  Why bother?  But, because I still need to vent my virtual frustrations, you get to be the lucky folk to read my latest rant. 

Dear apparent 10-year-olds who were actually born before 1985:  The President's name is Barack Obama.  Not O-blame-a, Obummer, Odummy (really?), etc.  Yes, his middle name is Hussein. Is that his fault? Many people are forced to use initials only because of their hatred of the mysteriously picked middle name forced upon them.  Do you think poor Richard Tiffany Gere loved writing out his full name?  Or Kiefer William Frederick Dempsey George Rufus Sutherland?  How did he fit that on a scantron test?  And Mitt Romney - He's not Mittens or R Money or Flip Flopney.  If you're going to post a four paragraph political rant and want to be taken seriously thereby keeping your readers' attention and possibly changing minds (*cough* good luck *cough*) then speak like a freaking adult!

Did you know there are websites that list the candidates nicknames?  No lie!  There's the Pretty Exhaustive Obama Nickname List and this list of 85 Romney nicknames found in internet searches.  Some are pretty creative, some are extremely offensive.  Most are just plain dumb.

Sometimes I wonder what these people teach their kids about bullying and name calling...if anything.  Rant over.  Enjoy your day!! :)

hearts on fire

I know this is about a week late, but it's been rumbling around in my head and I just have to share it. 

The vice-presidential debates were last week.  Biden vs. Ryan.  Not getting into actual politics, who won, who was rude, who drank 5 gallons of water, who actually answered questions and who didn't...  No, this shall focus on the visions I had of the two of them preparing for the debate in two completely different ways. 

Ryan getting up in early the morning, doing his P90X in his workout room / home theater, having a protein shake, running a half marathon on his treadmill, looking at his shirtless self in the mirror over and over again as his wife tells him how awesome he is.  Biden crawling out of bed around 9am, frying up a thick steak in some bacon fat and drinking a raw egg for breakfast, going out into his filthy garage, doing some bicep curls on a rickety old bench set that he's had for 20 years, knocking through 5 sets of fifty push ups on the hood of his Trans Am, and squeezing a couple pull-ups on a bar over the door as his wife looks on and rolls her eyes.  All with cheesy 80's movie montage music playing in the background.

I'm sure it all played out something like this:




Just had to free that image from my brain and put it out there in the universe.  You're welcome.

the woes of a thursday morning

Thursday mornings and I haven't gotten along for quite some time now.  No specific reason, but the day has it out for me.  I usually end up getting to work late(...er than usual) or have wardrobe malfunctions or get behind some extremely slow farm machinery on my way to work.  This morning was no different.  I got up, did my workout, picked out a fun and sassy outfit to wear to work and got ready.  Unfortunately because it's a Thursday, the forces of nature decided to annoy me to no end and I was left dealing with the following:

My skirt keeps riding up.

My awesome knee-high boots have developed a squeak that makes it sound like I'm walking on a creaky wooden peg leg.

I have rug burn on my elbows and knees.

The combination of these minor complaints makes me sound like a lady of ill repute, but I can assure you neither my financial situation nor my sex life have become that desperate to turn me in that direction.  Let me explain...the skirt it about 4 sizes too small and therefore moves upwards so that it fits me without cutting off the circulation to my legs.  The waist is sitting somewhere around my navel...you know, like mom jeans.  The boots are work appropriate but funky.  The rug burn is from my morning workout.  A lot of floor work this morning...and I exercise on carpet.

So I am not a prostitute, but I'm sure we have some of the same Thursday morning problems.  Thankfully these are probably the only problems we share.  Knowing this makes my Thursday morning a little brighter.

demi-gods don't dance

Ummm....  I don't know how I happened upon this, but I don't know that I'm glad that I did.


Though he took Patrick Swayze's role in the remake of Red Dawn, I don't think he'll be taking his role in Dirty Dancing if they ever decide to remake that one.

I wish I could un-see this...

...and how are you?

I've come to hate the fact that "How are you?" has become the standard sentence after "Hello" or "Hi."  In fact, sometimes it replaces the greeting all together.  Nobody really cares.  Nobody sticks around long enough to hear the answer.  I doubt that people who don't know you truly have concern as to the state of your life - how you're feeling, how your Aunt Edna's doing.  I was taking a walk the other morning in a different town and complete strangers were saying, "Hello!  How are ya?"   While I love the friendly atmosphere of this small town rural area, stick with hi and talk about the weather.

I've decided to come up with some creative responses to this mundane question to see just how closely people are listening after they ask the question as they're walking away.

• Sluggish, like a wet sponge.
• The gonorrhea seems to be clearing up, thanks.  You?
• Great! Well, other than the fact that Beelzebub is constantly chattering in my head day in and day out.  It gets kind of old.
• Purple
• Got a really heavy flow going today.  Not sure if these wings are gonna hold up.
• I'm a day closer to complete insanity, my friend.
• I seem to be craving dryer lint today.  Odd. 
• Fit as a flatulent flounder
• I. Am. Job.
• The doc says I'm fine. My pillow doesn't agree with him.
• Oh man, I am so freaking HORNY today!
• Incoherent garbling as if you had no tongue while turning and slowly following them.
• That's an extremely personal question and I am truly offended that you would ask something like that in this setting.  What is your name and phone number?  Expect a call from my lawyer!

Feel free to contribute your own ideas in the comments.  I'm sure there are plenty more out there.