and time moves on

When my son got up this morning, he noticed all of the 9/11 memorial stuff on the guide and said, "Oh yeah, it's that day isn't it?"  Finding this to be the perfect opportunity, I asked him if he's learned anything about that day in school yet.  He's 11, in 6th grade - I was curious how they handle the subject in schools.  We hadn't had any major conversations about it before, so I wondered if they were spinning things in an "America - fuck yeah!" way or if they were completely skirting the issue has they had in previous years.

He said that they had actually learned quite a bit, and started rattling off facts like the number of terrorists, where the planes hit, how many terrorists per plane, how many thousands of people died, etc.  I was astonished!  This kid new more of the actual numeric facts than I did and he was only 13 months old when everything happened.  Still curious about any spin being put on it, I started talking about how people became so afraid and so scared when they didn't know what was going on that they started pointing fingers in all directions, and started a witch hunt of sorts...and then he chimed in and said, "Yeah, people became pretty racist for a while."  Oh thank goodness!  They're showing some of our faults as well.  Of course, I reminded him that some people haven't been able to shake that racism yet and keep that anger with them even today, and there are people with extremists in every race, religion, and political viewpoint.  (It's my job as a parent to try to prevent my own child from becoming this way.)

Then I got to thinking, kids of his generation, who didn't have to experience the horror, the confusion, the panic and the fear that we did on that day and the days following, will be looking at it so much differently than we do.  When we think of September 11th, we automatically remember where we were, what we were doing, the eerie silence afterwards, the facts or lack of facts being thrown out there in the 24-hour media stream and most of all our feelings as it was all unfolding in front of our eyes.  It's the emotions that take us back.  These kids luckily didn't have to experience all of that.  To them, learning about what happened that day is the same as learning about WWII.  It's history.  Granted, it's recent history and we're still feeling the effects of it - their parents are serving overseas in the military, transportation security is a true presence and the bad guys in films are usually terrorists instead of communists - but to a kid, it might as well be ancient history.

I think I'm thankful for this.  I hope that my son and all of our children never have to experience the things we did in those days.  I hope that someday our nation won't feel the need to overplay the hell out of every angle of the story over and over on the anniversary, I hope that people will stop using the day as an excuse to wave flags, accuse others of not loving their country, and showing their own extremist views against the "enemy," and I hope that someday soon the country as a whole can move on.  Maybe we'll have to wait until the kids of my son's generation are the ones in charge, though I hope the day comes sooner than that.

'till the po-po shut us down

I had to laugh when "TiK ToK" started playing on my iPod.  You know, the first popular song by the young lush, Ke$ha.  (The dollar sign in the middle of her name lets you know, before you even see her, that she oozes class.)  So why do I have it on my iPod?  Because it's so stupid, of course, same reason I have a few Lady Ga Ga and Britney Spears songs.  They make you bounce, but lack substance and you feel silly dancing to them. 

Anyway, this particular song always brings many questions to my mind as I'm sure it does with other people.  Maybe in the time since it was originally released people have been able to find out the answers and will enlighten me.  This is what I wonder:

"Wake up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy:"  Is this a good thing or a bad thing?  Does he wake up feeling refreshed and like the king of the world, or is he exhausted from the constant partying, name changing, fashion designing and producing, hung over and wondering who's laying next to him? 

"Before I leave, brush my teeth with a bottle of Jack:"  Is this a new dental secret?  See, I would imaging that the sugars in the whiskey would only further eat away at the enamel on your teeth - not clean away the plaque.  Sure, the alcohol might kill off some of the nasty-ass germs partying in that mouth, but I don't think it's really enough to be considered a helpful thing.  Certainly not a breath freshener...well, who knows what was in her mouth the night before.  Personally, I think too much brushing with Jack could lead to teeth looking like Jack - Captain Jack Sparrow.  Maybe that's the mom in me.

"Boys blowing up our phones:"  I would assume being a tad (ahem) younger than myself, she and her friends can't live without their phones, so why would they want boys to blow them up?  Are they those pay-ahead Wal-Mart phones?  Is it a ploy to get a better phone every few weeks?  I'll have to look into that.

"But we kick them to the curb unless they look like Mick Jagger:"  Whoa.  Mick Jagger's like...84 years old!  Is she in line to become the next Anna Nicole?  Or maybe she's talking about Mick from the 60's.  Even so...ew!  I'm sorry, I love the Stones, but some scrawny, big-lipped, skinny jeans-wearing, spastic-dancing guy isn't my cup of tea.  Maybe standards have really changed. 

While I ponder these questions, I'll sit here and oh-so-subtly bounce up and down in my seat while I consider getting a pedicure on my toes, toes.

whose blog is it anyway?

Well, after that downer self-pitying post I thought I'd liven things up a bit with my favoritest clip of hilarity ever shared on YouTube from one of my favoritest shows in the world.  I watched Whose Line for years - both the British and American versions - and laughed at every episode.  This particular game makes me laugh so hard that I cry...every time.  You need to watch all of it and keep it somewhere in your favorites for those times when you need a big pick-me-up.

Ladies and gents, I give you Richard Simmons on Whose Line Is It Anyway

hey there lonely girl

In this age of social media, texting, blogging, emails and instant messaging, we have so many different means of keeping in touch with our friends.  So why is it that I'm feeling so lonely lately?

I have over 200 facebook friends who I see regular updates from on the news feed.  I see pictures from their trips, find out in real time where they are when they "check in" and even know what they're eating for dinner or watching on tv - whether I care or not. 

I email back and forth with my closer friends checking to see how life is and get a little more information about the new happenings in their lives.

When I feel like sending off a quick sentence or two to my closest friends, I shoot them a text (sometimes getting a response and sometimes not).

But the times when I can go out with my friends in person and laugh or cry or really dig deep into what's inside...  Well, those times are extremely few and far between.  I think I've done that once in the last 5 months.  Just once.

These days my life and the lives of my friends are taken up with work, kids, family obligations and trying to fit in some time to do nothing.  It's hard to find a time in our schedules that meshes.  When time does mesh, we usually don't have the money to go out and do anything.  Then there's the issue that a few of my closest friends have moved away and if I'm lucky I see them once a year.

So how do I get un-lonely?

Do I throw a get-together for some of my friends in the area and hope that they can make it, only to be terribly disappointed when nobody shows up?  Do I try to save up money to purchase a plane ticket to visit those far-away friends of mine in the meantime not being able to buy important things like shoes to replace the ones with holes?  Do I suck it up and try not to care, enjoying the little bit of contact I do have?

I'm trying to do that last part, but messages under 140 characters at a time just aren't doing it for me any more.   I need more depth.   Maybe that's it - maybe I feel like my connections are losing depth.  Maybe I'm at a low self-pitying moment in my life, maybe I'm overly-sensitive,or maybe...just maybe it's not just me.  Am I alone in this one?

don't ask - i don't have the answer

There have been so many mornings when I have woken up with a song going through my head.  Sometimes it's a happy, peppy song, other times it's a love song.  This morning's song I have no answer for.  I don't want to know what put it there, nor do I want it there ever again.  Therefore I'm sharing it with the rest of you.  The earworm can go visit someone else's ear for a while.

the crap i keep

I've been purging things lately (unfortunately not poundage) and yesterday's task was cleaning out my personal email inbox.  I was hoping I'd find some more of those great time capsule emails from friends that I had referred to in a previous post, but instead I found a treasure trove of recipes I'll never try, emails from family members complaining about mundane day-to-day events, and newsletters that are completely obsolete. 

Was I just too lazy to delete these emails?  Did I think I'd go back to them again and find some use for them?  And good lord - why did I keep weather alerts from 2008?

And then I looked in a folder I had named "Saved Messages" and I found even more emails in there that I have no clue why I would deem them as something to be saved.  I think I was some sort of email hoarder back in 2007/2008. 

The thing that really pisses me off is that there are emails that I wish I had kept that I apparently deleted. Great conversations that I had with friends, words of wisdom, passwords to sites I rarely go to but are necessary - you know...important stuff.  But no, they're gone. 

Instead I'm left with lists of cleaning tips that I've never looked at and forwarded jokes that weren't even that funny when I originally received them...five years ago.

Sigh

I've whittled down the 45 pages of emails that I had down to 6.  I could probably go even further, but I don't want to look pathetic either.  Can someone please send me some great, meaningful, funny or touching emails that I can keep forever...for a good reason?

more motivation please

Help! 

I'm stuck on a weight-loss plateau again and I'm losing my motivation to keep going.  My exercise has been on a less-than-regular basis and I think I might have gained a little bit again. 

This is not good.

I have 10-15 pounds to go to reach my goal and I don't want to give up, but I just don't have the motivation to keep going.  I need something to look totally hot for.  I need a n event or to see people I haven't seen in a while.  Something a few months in the future so I can realistically get there, but have to work to do it.  I won't have a class reunion for another couple of years, I don't have any friends getting married, no vacations that I need to fit into a bikini for. 

Any ideas??

losing yourself... (sorry, this one's not humorous)

I'm not talking about losing yourself in a good book or some great music.  I mean you - the real you.  Your memories, your habits, your personality -  your you-ness.  Imagine what you would do if those parts of you began slipping away, never to return again.  

Every 69 seconds, someone in America develops Alzheimer's disease. What if it was you?  Once you're diagnosed, you have an average of 8 years to live...sometimes more, sometimes less...but in your remaining time, your identity disappears.  Bran cells are damaged causing memory loss, erratic behavior changes and confusion.  Slowly, you would lose your ability to connect with others, think clearly, walk, talk, eat... Your friends and family would gradually become strangers, your favorite foods begin tasting like paste, the memories you cherish most - your first kiss, wedding, the birth of your children, would just disappear.

And there's nothing you could do about it.  Alzheimer's is the 6th leading cause of death in the country and the only one in that ominous top 10 list that cannot be cured, prevented or even slowed down.  While death rates for other diseases are on the decline, the rate for Alzheimer's is increasing. Increasing!   And with the Baby Boomer generation now beginning to reach the age of 65, that rate is going to jump up even faster unless something changes.

I'm trying to help move that change along.  In order to raise awareness and funds for research and support, my family and I will be participating in the Walk to End Alzheimer's in Lake Geneva on September 17th.  We will be walking in the name of my 3rd grandmother, Rusty, who suffered from the disease and passed away last month.  

Now I'm reaching out to all of my friends (hello friends!) and asking if you could spare a dollar or two this month to donate to our team, "The Rusty Walkers."  All of the funds we raise will go directly to supporting the efforts of the Alzheimer's Association.  I know times are rough right now and we don't have much we can spare, believe me I know, but when you add up all of those spare dollars it could really help.  

 If you're at all interested in donating, you can do so by following this link:

Thanks for taking a moment to read my rambling plea for donations (I've never been good at asking for help), and thanks in advance for any assistance you can give.  

the simple rules i live by

Laugh it off.  Trust me on this one.  When life is throwing crap at you like a room full of monkeys, dodge it with laughter.  Yes, try to fix things that need to be fixed, don't just ignore the problems, but don't let doom and gloom get you down for too long.  Laugh at the ridiculousness of it all and you'll feel much better.

Never spread rumors.  Well, unless it's a test.  (My friend and I tried this once.  We started our own rumor about ourselves and had another friend relay the rumor to us once she heard it.  It was quite humorous - especially when we heard how it had morphed.)

Always smell the milk before pouring it.  I don't care what the expiration date says - expiration dates lie! You don't want your cereal to taste a little "off" or give your child accidentally "extra chunky" mac and cheese.  Take a quick little whiff before you infect the rest of your food with a tainted dairy product.

Don't get jealous of your friends who are constantly travelling to cool places while you're sitting at home snacking on cold turkey cheese hot dogs in your pajamas looking at the pictures they're posting on facebook.  (What, is it only me?) They're probably (hopefully) stressed out about something like transportation, language barriers, gas money, malaria, etc.  Maybe if you're lucky they'll be kind enough to bring you something to add to your collection of souvenirs from places you've never been.

When presented with time alone in your house, go naked!  Seriously.  When we were young and single or in new relationships, we used to do it all the time.  Why not do it now?  Feel the breeze on your other cheeks.  Let it all hang out.  Who's gonna see ya?  Just don't make the mistake of watching the neighbors' kids from your living room window because you've completely forgotten that you are sans-clothing.  That could make for unwelcome visits from people in uniforms.

Eat the crumbs at the bottom of the snack bags.  Don't you know that's where all the flavor goes?  Go ahead!  Forget the nicety of a bowl - just pour them straight into your mouth.  And then brush your teeth.  And vacuum...because you've probably gotten crumbs all over the floor as well.

Let yourself regress.  Don't constantly live in the past, but enjoy those memories and interests from time to time.  Watch hours and hours of He-Man cartoons some rainy Sunday, do the Roger Rabbit to MC Hammer, try picking up a drawing pencil or some watercolors and see what you can do with them, cry to that song that used to remind you of the boy you loved but didn't love you back in junior high, play with your kids' Barbies or Transformers while they're taking a nap.  Just don't give yourself mall hair, put on an acid-washed jean jacket and spritz yourself with Electric Youth perfume before you go to a family function.  That's going a little too far and they might commit you for that.

Everything in moderation.  Naughty food, alcohol, even bad feelings.  A little of these things won't do you in.  Just don't overdo it.  Excess could lead to becoming the large 50-year-old woman in crop tops and spandex at the dark dive bar downtown who gets into fights with anyone who looks at her the "wrong way."  This leads to a life of no friends, probable incarceration and heart disease which will probably result in an early death.  See how it works?  Moderation, my friends.

Enjoy the little things.  Ah, yes, the old cliche line.  I can't help it - it's true.  If you see a butterfly going past, actually watch it.  Soak in the sound of your kid's laugh.  Hug your best friend a little longer.  Savor the flavor of that ice cream you're not supposed to be eating, and don't feel guilty about it.   Watch the clouds, the sunrises and sunsets, and in the words of the Almighty Pee-Wee, "Take a picture, it'll last longer!"

right vs. left

Noooo....I'm not talking the state of our political climate.  I'll leave that to other people who want to spout forth their own opinions on the subject - I'm done.  I'm talking about my brain and the odd way in which it works.

As I've said before, I've gone from being more right-brained to just about 50/50.  It's an odd phenomenon for me.  This morning I realized that the sides of my brain must be taking turns being the dominant side, yet they don't want to work together.  You know how some people do their best thinking on the toilet?  Well, I"m not one of those people.  No, my brain seems to work the best when I'm standing nekkid in the shower.  Go figure.  Yesterday morning I had an epiphany about the best way to do a report at work.  And it was beautiful.  The ol' Left Side was working away while Right Side must have been taking a break, popping a short daydream or memory in from time to time to say, "I'm still here."  This morning, Righty kicked into full gear and came up with some great ideas for blog posts.  (You lucky, lucky people) I think Lefty was still asleep.

The problem that I'm running into now is that I'm having a hard time switching from one side to the other fast enough and I'm starting to feel overwhelmed.  Not enough time to do what I'd like to do because I'm being pulled in two different directions. I want to be doing creative things while I'm being forced to do math or I'd really like to write a story for a great cause, but my left brain is making me write a list instead.   I'd love to be able to run one report, shoot out a somewhat witty email, type up a contract, do a blog entry.  It's not working as fast as I would like it to and I'm getting frustrated.

Maybe I need a brain mediator or something to make them work together in a more civilized fashion.  I could make my projects more of a combination between the two sides of my brain.  I could add some nifty designs to  my reports or organize by photo albums by year.  Oh wait - that sounds far too Martha Stewart-esque.  Scratch that. 

I just want a working, happy, non-cluttered brain again.