blech

I'm having a bad self-image day today.  It all started when I weighed myself this morning, as I do every morning (apparently just to torture myself) and found that I gained a couple of pounds.  Freaking unacceptable!  Of course it is only a couple of pounds, but as soon as I looked at myself in the mirror I saw myself with my original 30 extra pounds of flab.  Man, the brain is a cruel, manipulative organ.  So, I showered and put on clothing that makes me look 10 times worse - a long skirt and an insanely bulky sweater because for some reason the people at work think that even though it's 33 degrees outside, we need the AC on, and I can't bear shivering all day.  I got to the office and realized that because I'm in desperate need of a haircut and this inch-thick sweater is only making my hair tangled and full of static, so I threw my hair up in a dollar-store clip.  Then as I looked in the restroom mirror to make sure that everything was in place, I realized that putting my hair up accentuates the beautiful grey hairs that have sprung up all over the place as they seem to glisten in the oh so flattering, skin-crease-enhancing fluorescent lighting that is blazing from above.  So now I'm fat and old.  Of course, that couldn't be it.  Noooo...  My eyes are tired and strung out from looking at computer monitors day in and day out, so I had to throw on my glasses as well.  Awesome! 

Oh, if only my outfit were red...