i *am* ready for some football

The chilly weather this weekend was downright fall-like. (The Weather Channel had deemed "Julytober" Note to TWC - combining words doesn't always work as well as Sharknado.)  The weather was perfect for my twenty-some-odd mile walk on Saturday.  I didn't sweat, didn't want to pass out from the heat, I was thankful!  On Sunday though, I woke up and put on the most comfortable snuggly clothes I could find...my big Packers sweatshirt and capris.  And it was cold and sunny-ish and we went to the store and all I wanted to buy was cheese, sausage and crackers and bugles and chili dip and pretzels and ranch dip...and I WANTED FOOTBALL FOOD!!!  And football! 

And it didn't help that my Twitter and Instagram feeds were full of pictures of Packers training camp. 

Full pads today. QB Aaron Rodgers on the move early in practice. #Packers pic.twitter.com/2d8T3GBmAI
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) July 28, 2013

And to top it all off...Clay's back!  Aren't you as excited as I am?

Their bikes were too small, so Clay just stopped to say hello to these triplets in 52 jerseys. #Packers pic.twitter.com/AunUawidAM
— Green Bay Packers (@packers) July 28, 2013

Gah!  The cuteness!

Okay, I love living in a place with four distinct seasons and I'm not quite ready for summer to be over, but this little taste of fall and football season leaves me wanting more. 

and the geeks shall inherit the earth

SDCC was last weekend, (that's San Diego Comic-Con, for those of you not in the know), and with so much going on in the world of sci-fi and fantasy, the "geek" label is thrown around like a frisbee at
Bonnaroo.  Who's a geek, who's not geeky enough, girls and fake geekery, yadda yadda yadda...

So, now "geek" is something that's exclusive as well?  In that case, I don't know if I'm a geek or not.  I know I'm pretty dang geeky when it comes to some things, but whether or not I fit into the new definition of the "geek" label is beyond me.

I grew up not only playing with Barbies and My Little Ponies, but also with Transformers and Star Wars figures.  When I watched TV, my favorite shows were Wonder Woman, He-Man and Super Friends.  I had a crush on Christopher Reeve as Superman and David Bowie in Labyrinth.  These were in the mainstream, not fringe entertainment.

The same can be said for entertainment today.  We're in the land of 80's remakes like Transformers and GI Joe and not only that, but comic book characters rule the world of movies and cartoons.  Avengers, Superman, Spider-Man, Batman, (Green) Arrow, sadly still no Wonder Woman though...they're everywhere.  It's rare that you find anyone who doesn't watch any of these.

So, I guess where my confusion lies is if all of these characters and story lines are so mainstream, when does a fan cross into the "geek" category?  Are we all geeks or are there certain criteria that need to be adhered to? 

I've read that they now have geek clubs in schools where you have to answer certain questions in order to be accepted.  Seriously?  Geekdom is something you can be excluded from now?  Something you have to study to attain?  I just do not get this.

And there are throngs of women/girls who feel like they're not accepted.  That they're being labeled as "fake geek".  How can you be fake geek?  I just can't wrap my head around this.  This whole issue has been summarized in one music video by The Doubleclicks....



So, here I am...  You know what my interests were when I grew up.  I still love watching the original sci-fi & fantasy movies I watched as a kid, I'm a huge fan of the new Marvel movies, still strive to be Wonder Woman, but I've never owned a comic book (well, until this year), never got into role playing games, Dungeons & Dragons (except for the 80's cartoon), and I don't know the names of the aliens sitting behind Jabba the Hut's throne in Return of the Jedi.  To throw everyone for a loop, let's also throw in the fact that I greatly enjoy watching football as well.  (*gasp*)  Where do I fall on the geek scale?

And does it really matter?

Just be yourself, my friends!  Like what you like, be okay with what you don't like.  Don't feel like you have to conform to standards to be accepted, and most important of all, always follow Wheaton's Law:

Don't be a dick.

no, i'm not on the face book

Today is my first full day off of Facebook - I deactivated my account yesterday evening.  Jaws dropped across the land when I warned them of my impending departure.  You see, I was always on Facebook.  No matter where I was, work, home, car, and it was sucking the life out of me!  Even if I wasn't posting anything, it was on somewhere in the background, frequently refreshed, so I wouldn't miss a minute of what was going on.

And what was going on anyway? 

Not a whole lot.

Most of the people who I really wanted to see updates on fell into two categories: They rarely ever posted or they also posted things via Twitter, Instagram and/or blogs.  And yet I kept hitting refresh.  I'd keep getting frustrated by the things I was seeing from other people- the memes, the reposting without researching, the constant outrage, the incessant need for attention.  And I'd keep refreshing.   I'd go for periods of days without posting anything, but I just. kept. refreshing.

A few months ago, I came to the realization that this wasn't a productive way to spend my time (ya think?) and knew that I wanted to let it go completely, but I couldn't just yet.  I was in the midst of planning a class reunion and that was our main means of communication, so instead of leaving completely, I drastically reduced the number of people on my friends list by about half, only keeping my classmates, close family, and the few closer friends I wanted to try to keep in touch with.  The purge gave me a great feeling.  I wasn't done yet, but at least it was a start.

Once the reunion was over a couple of weeks ago, I was ready to leave completely.  Any responsibilities I had on there, I was sure to give to other completely competent people.  Any pages I was watching on Facebook for news or information I found on Twitter and started following them there instead.  Those friends who fell into the "also posting on Twitter/Instagram/blog" category, I made sure to follow on those other sites.  I started a new blog which I'd actually give my family the link to (as opposed to this one) to keep them up to date on pictures of events and non-events.  I put all of my contact information on my page for a few days so that people would have the time to jot it all down or add me to their bookmarks before anything I posted disappeared.

Last night, when I was sure I had done all I could, I deactivated my account.  This is no simple task.  You have to go through three different security measures and on top of it all, they throw up a page with 5 random friends on it saying how much they are going to miss you when you're gone.  Of the people they listed, I might agree with one, but seriously?  They play the guilt card?  I finally made it through the gauntlet of "are you sure"s and was free.

I'm hoping to stay off forever.  My husband and close friends laugh at me - they're pretty sure I can't do it. 

My friend sent this to me.  I thanked him for his vote of confidence.

Barring any type of emergency where I need to get in touch with two hundred people at once or the need to keep up with something going on that I can only do via that medium, I think I can probably do this.  Sure, it's going to be difficult, but I have other things that can occupy my time and I have pretty good willpower.  And hey, maybe my hubby and I will have actual conversations at night now instead of both of us sitting there, laptops on our laps, hitting refresh every 5 minutes.

THAT will be refreshing.

why i will probably never land another job

I've been employed by the same company for almost eleven years now.  I can't remember the last job interview I had because when I came to this company, I was hired back by someone I had worked for previously.  No need for an interview. 

As any person who is looking to expand their horizons would do, I get job opening emails and tips for getting the perfect new job posted in my facebook feed that I rarely ever look at unless feeling exceptionally bored or inspired (go figure). 

Today I clicked on a link titled "How to Answer the Top 10 Job Interview Questions" and discovered that there is no way I could do this these days.  When I was looking for a job back in the day, I just needed a job.  Entry level.  As long as I could show up on time, speak intelligently and smile, I was in.  Now that I have more experience and would be looking for a position suited to that experience, and adding in the lack of available jobs compared to the number of people looking for those jobs, there are games that need to be played.  There are keywords to be spoken, research to be done.  And that's if you even get to the interview process.  The resume bots are out there scanning for keywords that probably don't even apply to the specific position you're looking for.  Miss one of those words and you're passed over. 

I admire the people who have the ambition to go out there, research every single company they might be interested in, puff themselves up, practice the perfect handshake, rehearse their interview answers in front of a mirror, but it's just not something I can do.  It's just not me.  (Of course, if I were out of a job, I suppose I could do anything out of desperation.)  So with that in mind I just have to say, all of you out there looking for a job and going through this, I truly wish you the best of luck. The world of the job search is just crazy!

Side note: No, if prospective employers are out there googling my name, they will not find this blog.  I'm not completely insane.

did she say what i think she just said?

Oh, all this Paula Deen nonsense.  I really don't care what some butter-lovin', fake-tanned, southern-cookin' TV personality says.  (If y'all don't know what I'm talking about, and I only know about it because of the Daily Show, here's the scoop.)

The whole thing did remind me of one very important life-lesson that I learned...the hard way.

Where to start....  Well, I guess the beginning.  My grandmother was born in 1912 (a week before or after the Titanic went down - I can never remember which) and lived in a farming town in South Dakota.  They were extremely rural (she endured the Dust Bowl), and a little behind the times.  She was raised with certain...stereotypes...and used certain terms that in her mind were perfectly commonplace and not at all taboo.  She was raised with poems and songs from the time that she would recite around the house when she was cooking or cleaning, the same way we would sing along with any song we grew up with.  Here's an example of one of them (if you're offended by n-words, I suggest you don't click the link).  Yeah...  Brazil nuts were called "n----r toes" (sigh), and this was a book that I read quite often when I was at her place:

I remember this cover vividly.
It was much more tame than the original 1900's version.

Don't get me wrong - I'm not accusing her of being blatantly racist.  (Okay, she wasn't the most open-minded of individuals, but she wasn't out to be intentionally derogatory.)  She just didn't understand that the terms and phrases that used to be mainstream (right or not), had become quite offensive and were not to be used  - especially in public.  Especially especially around children.

On one occasion, after she had recited one of her childhood poems and because it was a word I had never heard before (because my parents knew it wasn't very nice), I asked her what that n-word meant.  She stated very simply that it was just another word for a black person.  Oh!  Well, okay then.  I was in grade school, my brain was a sponge, and I loved soaking up new words to impress people with.  Let's add this one to the list!

Flash forward a few months later to one of my parents' popular outdoor parties.  As everyone was on our lawn playing another round of killer croquet while downing sipping on bullfrog punch, my mother had donned some sort of wig stand head of a brownish color and put it on her shoulder to become a two-headed monster.  (Don't ask, I don't remember the details...I attribute it to the copious amounts of bullfrog punch.)
I said, "Wow, Mom!  Now you're a N----r!"

Her eyes widened, I think she actually stopped breathing for a moment.  My uncle, who was standing behind her, did a bullfrog punch spit-take and said, "Oohhhh, I think I'll go this way now..." backed up a few steps and high-tailed it back to the food, trying his hardest not to laugh.  After catching her breath and a bit of stammering, my mother tried keeping her voice at 7 instead of the 11 she really wanted and asked, "Where did you learn that word?"  I was very confused.  It didn't seem like a bad word to me, I mean my grandma said it a lot, so why were people reacting that way?  I told her very innocently and quietly that it was her own mother who gave me that new word.  She was not amused.  In fact, I believe after quickly telling me that that word was never to be used again because it's not a nice word at all, she sought out her mother and gave her a good what-for.  Luckily because of my complete innocence, I was spared from punishment.

It did made for quite a spectacle though, and I don't think I ever heard my grandmother say that word around me again after that.  Oh, there were plenty of other choice words, but that one was not one of them.  (Sometime I'll have to tell you about her hatred of George Michael.)

So, yeah.  There's my random flashback for no good reason.  Thanks a lot, Paula Deen!

lost in translation

Recently we had a very large Japanese group staying in the hotel that I work in.  In fact, they basically took every room in the place.  When I would venture into the lobby area, it would be filled with Japanese men in suits, speaking to each other in a language I did not understand at all.  Other than the few employees who were tucked away in a corner, I felt like I was the odd man out.  It seemed like, even though the surroundings were familiar, I was in a foreign country.  Like I could walk out of those doors and I'd be somewhere completely different.  Or maybe that's just what I was wishing for.



This feeling of disorientation was compounded by the fact that I the one friend that I had at work for the past 6 years had just moved away and I felt like I was stuck there alone.  My sense of normalcy was gone.  My routines blown.  My momentary escapes to his office to chat about upcoming movies or TV shows, or discuss work items that were pissing us off were no more.  He got out - I remained.  

I had my review and though it was a glowing review, my boss told me that she knows I'm not happy there sometimes. Asked if I'm looking for a new job and if so, what I would be looking for in this area. She knows there's not much out there. Another hotel? Another admin job? Something completely different? I had no answers. I don't have a direction. 



She said it's up to me to find my happiness here, which I know is true...if I want to stay.  If I want to cross-train in another department, do it.  If I want to change my job somehow, she's all for it.  She said I need to leave my office more - get out and make more friends in the hotel. The problem is, I've tried.  I have very little in common with the people I work with.  I've written about it before.  We don't have similar interests, they're either younger or older than I am, I don't care about fashion.  Sometimes it's like they're speaking a language just as foreign to me as the Japanese gentleman who were surrounding me in the lobby.

I know I need to make a change.  I need to figure out how.  I need to find a place where I fit, where I'm not walking among people I don't understand. And I'll have to do it on my own.

secrets

One of my Sunday morning routines is checking PostSecret.  When I first started following it, the posts were just the deepest, darkest secrets you could imagine from adults who were finally given an anonymous outlet where they could finally set these thoughts free and not have to worry about something being found in a diary or a friend letting it slip.  Now much of it has become the place for teenagers to share secrets about sex, drugs, cutting, etc.

I think we all have secrets that we keep inside that even our closest friends don't know.  Things we wish we could share with someone but fear the fallout, thoughts that we just can't shake, moments that have defined us that can't be spoken of.  Keeping some secrets inside can really eat away at you, so I suppose it's safer to send a postcard than to open up to someone who might judge you or decide it's okay to tell just one friend or in a moment of anger, use it against you.

I suppose I have a couple of them myself.  Can you guess what they are?

regression

Because I'm extremely frustrated, in need of an escape, have no money with which to do so, need a new job, wish the school year was over so I wouldn't have to force my kid to do homework without feeling the need to tie him to a chair to do so, yadda, yadda, yadda, I've found myself looking for items that I loved as a child.  Here are some that I've found that will hopefully bring a smile to your face as well.

Doesn't this just reek of being a kid - and not a bad reek, more like a bread was baking in the oven, but it's been sitting on the counter for a while kind of reek.

I played with this thing a ton!

And I was a Barbie freak.  I had this one - thought the astronaut by day/party girl by night outfit with shoulder-poufs the size of Alaska were something to aspire to.  "We girls can do anything!"

 

Zug-zug

White Nights - I've watched this movie hundreds of times and never tire of it.

I was also a Michael Jackson fanatic back in the days of Thriller, but looking back, I think my favorite album of his was Off The Wall.  It was him before he started going a little off-kilter.

Yup.  Had it.  Most of my "Ponies" were unicorns and pegasuses (or is it pegasi?)  Hard to stick a sunbonnet  on a unicorn.

And last but certainly not least.....

Our old pal, Grover.  Who didn't love Grover?  He was sweet, friendly, sometimes even Super.  He was the epitome of childhood innocence, 20x better than Elmo,

 and thankfully we never realized how similar his voice was to Yoda's.  

and on another note....

This picture was tweeted last week:

Huzzah! 

Football is coming back soon!

Happy Dance

my dream funeral

What?  Does that sound morbid?  Pick your jaw up off of the floor and let me explain.  I've already been through the wedding part of my life.  It was nice, simple, good enough for us.  We're not going to have another one - don't need a dream wedding, so what's the next major life event that gets a big gathering? (My son's life events don't count - those are for him)  I suppose it would be my funeral, wouldn't it?  Now, now...don't go getting into some sort of a tizzy, I'm in no way making light of loss.  (Of course, if you're sensitive to the topic, I would suggest you stop reading now as I don't want to accidentally offend anyone.)  Death is a part of life - sometimes it comes far too soon, but inevitably, it comes.  I might as well put my preferences out there for everyone to see.  It doesn't have to be uncomfortable - it can actually be quite pleasant.

The service will be pretty small, I'm sure.  We're in a small town, almost all of my friends have moved away, our family is spread out across the nation.  I guess it will just be at one of the local funeral homes since I'm not a church person.  And speaking of the whole not churchy thing...who would officiate?  Hmmm...that's a good question.  I wouldn't want to put any of my friends on the spot.  I'm going to have to put some thought into that.

Okay, during the beginning of the memorial service, as people are walking in, I want Mozart's Requiem to be played.  I guess it's fitting that one of my favorite pieces of music of all time is a death mass.  So beautiful, so dramatic, so powerful.  Just as the service is about to begin, they should be playing Lacrimosa.  This will be where they stop the Requiem.  It's not the official end, but it's where I've always wished it ended.


And right after the dramatic ending, I want everyone to be directed to pick up the hymnals that are inevitably right in front of them, and turn to a tv toward the front of the room, and participate along with the monks in this scene.

You see, though it might be a sad occasion, I still want people to smile and laugh and be thrown off guard in a good way.  I think Monty Python is the right way to go.   

I don't have any bible verses I want read (see reason above), my mind works in lines from movies and song lyrics.  I think people should come up and recite whatever they hear that makes them think of me.  Something that should have been my theme song, a line that is just so me that every time they hear it, I pop up in their mind automatically.  I'd absolutely LOVE that.
 

Throw in whatever else you want after that, but at the end of it all, I want the people there to participate in something I've always wanted to do...a big Hey Jude singalong!  Seriously!  Everybody knows the words...at least the end of the song.  Everybody sings along whether they originally want to or not.  It's like the "Five golden rings" part of the Twelve Days of Christmas.  You just inherently sing along with it - it's somehow crept into our DNA.  And the best part - everybody ends up smiling.  And that's how I want people leaving - SMILING. 

     

So, there you have it.  My dream funeral.  I'm sure it will change a bit as time goes on, but I want to keep the happiness factor the same no matter what.  One of my goals in life is to make as many people smile as I can, even if only for a moment.  I can at least try to do the same after I'm gone as well. 

Oh, and a word of warning - if you do attend and don't sing along, I'll be sure to haunt you for the next 5 years after that.