Ugh, I just realized something about myself and it makes me ill. For years, I've been the kind of person I can't stand - the "woe is me" attention whore. The only difference is that I didn't put it out there for the masses, it was just in emails or messages to one person at a time. My god, those poor people!
Again, bored out of my mind, I took some time and went through some more old emails and messages and found a pattern in them. They went something like this:
Hello. How are you? Questions regarding the other person's life.
Complain about something in my life (money, health issues, job, money). Remind the other person that in the grand scheme of things, life isn't really so bad. Say something happy and uplifting and disgustingly optimistic. Turn around and complain a little more.
More questions about the other person's life. Subtly hint that I don't hear from him/her enough because I don't have a life and live to hear from other people. Wish them best and love and all that and close.
The thing that really sucks about going back and finding these is that I can't now email those people and apologize because it will seem like I'm drawing even more attention to myself which I'm so totally not doing. I guess the best thing for me to do is say mea culpa, laugh about it (apologetically) in this ever so private blog, and refrain from ever doing that to my besties again. (Blech - the thought of me even saying besties makes me vomit a little.)
So yeah...sorry guys! I promise I'll be a happier emailer from now on. (And why didn't you point it out to me in the first place? Sheesh!)
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