how does one live off the land when they don't garden or camp?

There have been so many times over the past few years that my hubby and I have said, "Fuck it.  Let's quit our jobs and live off the land."  I'm sure we're not the only ones.  Jobs we hate, not enough money coming in compared to the amount of money we have to spend on food and utilities.  Let's just run away from our problems, start over somewhere else, build a cabin somewhere in a good year-round climate, grow and catch our own food, make our own clothes, not have to pay for anything other than maybe a phone in case of emergency (and for that one of us would have to get a simple part-time job doing something we actually enjoy.)  Ah, that would be the life!

Just a couple...minor... issues with this fantasy though. 

1) I'm not good at growing anything.  Anything I've ever tried, even a simple DIY herb garden, has never fully matured before they wilted and died.  I think the closest my husband's ever come to farming has been FarmVille.  It's hard to have your facebook friends help you out when you're without facebook...or a computer...or electricity.

2) We don't hunt.  Nope, don't like killing animals.  Oh, we can fish.  We're good at fishing.  We have a problem (again) with killing the fish though.  That's why the few times when we do go fishing, we catch and release.  Back into the waters with you, little fishy...I hope you don't find that hole in your lip too annoying. 

3) I've never really roughed it.  To me, camping is a few days in a northwoods cabin complete with indoor plumbing, kitchen facilities, and a somewhat uncomfortable bed.  I have slept in tents, but only in neighbors' backyards as a child.  I really have no desire to sleep in a tent again.  They're uncomfortable and frankly I get a bit claustrophobic in them.  I don't want to dig holes in order for me to poo.  Ick.  I don't even know if my body would let itself do that in a squatting position.  I could probably cook over fire, but what I'd eat (see points 1 & 2) I have no idea.

4) My sewing skills are far from what one would call "good."  I can re-attach any button that's fallen off.  I can hand-stitch a seam that's come undone, but that's it.  I just don't have the patience.  Or the ability to sew straight.  Could make for some really funky clothes.  Remember that shirt that Denise made for Theo in The Cosby Show?

Uh huh...like that.

So, I guess we're just going to have to remain slaves to "the man" and capitalist society and make due with the little that we make, shop at and eat crap from Wal-Mart and go on about our merry way.