male cooties

Is there a natural phenomenon that prevents men from being anywhere within a foot of each other?  Some sort of polar repulsion or instinctual fear of infection that keeps them apart?  Why can two grown men not sit in seats next to each other and at what age does this begin, because kids have no problem with it.  And are women immune to it?  Men sit next to women all the time - whether it's welcomed or not.

The other day in our employee cafeteria, I noticed two male members of our engineering department enter, grab their food, and sit at one of the large tables.  Two people could very easily sit at a smaller table with two or three chairs, but in order to keep that male force field up, they had to take a big one.  One male sat at one side of the table and the other one, instead of sitting directly across from him, sat one extra chair over on the other side of the table.  This is perplexing to me.  In order to make for easier conversation, wouldn't it be easier to sit across from your friend?  Why one chair over?  Are they afraid that their feet might accidentally touch, thereby creating some sort of electric shock or pass some sort of germ from one person to the other?  This happens quite often in the cafeteria.  Sometimes they sit kitty-corner from each other, sometimes they sit at opposite ends of a large table....just never together.  Unless, of course, they're with a large group and fill the table.  Apparently in that situation, there is no risk of infection....



I think we all know of movie theater seating arrangements.  Two men want to see the latest action flick.  Because they can't talk their significant others into sitting through two hours of explosions and middle-aged men boning hot young chicks, they are forced to go together.  So they drive there in the same car in seats only 3-5 inches apart, go in, buy tickets and concessions separately, enter the theater, pick a row and sit down...leaving at least one seat between them. 

I have asked my husband about this phenomenon.  Why can't men sit in chairs next to each other?  Are you afraid of cooties like little girls are in grade school?  There was no answer.  Instead, he brought up yet another instance that I have not witnessed, but I'll have to take his word for it...the Men's Bathroom. 

If there are three urinals in a bathroom, men will always keep one urinal between them.  I asked him what happens if those are already taken, the one in the middle is open and you have to go.  He said then they go use the stall.  I cocked my head to the side like a puppy not understanding what their human is telling them and asked what happens if one person is in there and uses the middle stall, leaving the other two available.  "Well, it means the guy's a prick and you go use the stall."  Apparently it just isn't done - there's an unwritten rule.  Why they even bother installing that middle urinal is now a mystery to me as well.  If they just put a massive space in-between the two of them, would it be safe or would the fear of...whatever...send the second guy into the stall again?  I doubt they put it there just to be aesthetically pleasing.  Does the poor thing ever get used?

Oh sweet mysteries of life!  I just don't understand it.  Maybe I need to come back in my next life as a man so I can have an "Aha!" moment and be let in on the secrets of the fear of male cooties.  Is there anyone out there who can explain this to me?

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