Some of you may remember the post I wrote last year called boo to bullies where I talked about the bullying I went through as a kid in middle school and the bullying that my own middle school son was enduring. Well, almost a year has passed and there are changes afoot for both of us.
My son is getting picked on less and less. I think it has something to do with the fact that he's actually starting to step in when he sees another student being picked on. He doesn't get violent, he just tells the other kid to knock it off and sometimes physically takes the victim out of the situation. This has happened three times that I know of this year. Once with a kid who kept getting picked on in the cafeteria where he called out the kids as being immature for ganging up on this other student, once when he stood up for a girl who kept getting picked on (she had a bit of a hero crush on him after that), and just a couple of days ago he told a kid to stop picking on a smaller kid after he'd been doing it for quite some time and actually moved the kid out of the situation. I love my son! Now I'm just afraid that someone's gonna end up getting fed up with him ruining all of their fun and take it out on him. Man, I wish we had better health insurance... Anyway, he's really beginning to come into his own with a group of friends and his confidence level is beginning to soar. (Well, except with his actual schoolwork. If we could get him just as passionate about that....)
In my story, things have just taken an interesting turn. The girl who used to pick on me in middle school, who called me names in 6th grade and laughed at me with the basketball coach in 7th grade, who had disappeared from my life after graduation, has just now reappeared in the world of Facebook. And the irony of it all - She's now a 6th grade teacher. I don't hold a grudge against her for the way she treated me. We were all young and I'm sure she's matured since then. I do wonder a few things though, like does she remember or even realize the way she treated me? And if so, does she regret what she did? And if not, does she teach her kids to be accepting and not to judge? And as a teacher, how does she feel about bullying? It will be interesting to see if she shows up at our 20 year reunion (gulp) this summer. But if she does, do I bring any of it up or just pretend it never happened? I guess we'll just see what happens.
Anyway...it's funny that at the same time we're both coming to new chapters in moving on from the negativity thrown at us when the occurrences were so many years apart. Hopefully the next chapters will prove to be even more positive.
I'm glad your son doesn't get picked on as much anymore. I hope it will stop all together. He's very brave for standing up for other students because he risks getting picked on for doing this.
ReplyDeleteIt seems those who are and were bullied tend to stand up for other people more. Probably because they know what it's like. They seem to have a greater sense of compassion.
I used to get picked on too, but it wasn't just one girl. Pretty much the entire class. I was happy to go to highschool to be rid of them. Anyway, kudos to you for not holding a grudge. I do hold a grudge, but this is probably also because of the fact that she - the "leader" doesn't seem to have changed much. None of them, really. They're still trash. I would never go to a reunion of elementary school (that's where it all happened - here in the Netherlands elementary school stretches from the age of 5 to 12).
Oh and as far as bringing it up goes... I don't know if you should. It kind of depends on the vibe you get from her, I guess.
Hi Rebecca, I have a blog award (yes, another one!) for you if you're interested. Come and take it if you want :)
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