When I was a kid, I had aspirations of being a singer, a ballerina, a Playboy Bunny, Wonder Woman and Princess Leia. I'm too old to hit American Idol, and I'm not good at late nights in bars so I won't be a singer, my ballet career ended in 5th grade, and we don't have the Playboy Club in the area anymore. That leaves me with Wonder Woman and Princess Leia.
I suppose this lets the geek side of me out of the closet, doesn't it?
When I was little, I loved watching Wonder Woman on tv. I so wanted her outfit and her Lasso of Truth and the awesome tiara/bracelet combo. I even liked the stupid leotard-type-thing she wore when she went swimming. (Why she actually covered more skin to go underwater, I'll never know) I would try spinning around in circles in my backyard to see if I would change into her. Never seemed to work though. What I could deal with as a substitute though was a set of Wonder Woman Underoos. It was the closest thing I would ever get at the time.
I keep thinking that becoming Wonder Woman is still attainable. Okay, sure, I don't live on some mythological island, but stories change all the time - maybe she could become Wonder Woman by a chemical change fueled by being fed up by her mean bosses at work. "I'm not gonna take it any more!" Yup. That's how I'm gonna become Wonder Woman. Some day I'll be at the end of my rope and I'll stand up in my office and spin around, a flash of light will blind everyone momentarily while my frumpy work clothes magically turn into red, white and blue undergarments, I grow a pair of awesome red boots, and instantly lose 20 pounds. Then I'll use my Lasso of Truth on the powers that be, record what they say, get them fired, and I'll be the hero of the workplace. Then I'll take the show on the road, fighting for people's rights, truth and justice, etc...
Princess Leia - that's my kind of Princess. Not the "waiting around for her prince to come" type, but the "I'm going to help lead a rebellion, do what it takes to get what I need from you and don't fuck with me or I'll blast a hole in your chest" type. (Well, by the second movie anyway.) She could go from almost monk-like robes to outdoor gear to an elegant gown to a metal bikini and her hair - her apparently extremely long hair - was always perfectly styled to go along with it. Did she have some sort of hair attendant with her? Did she take the time to do all of that braiding and twisting herself? She could blast a stormtrooper, steal a speeder bike, woo an ewok, pass herself off as a bounty hunter, and still get the guy. How cool is that?
I could totally do that! Okay, I already have the guy, but gimme a good cause and I can be that kick-ass. Laser blasters look like they'd be pretty easy to use with a lesson. I'd even take up light saber lessons with the right teacher. Gimme some hairstyling lessons and I could get my hair to go with anything. The only thing that concerns me is I can be prone to motion sickness, so I'm not sure how all that hyperspace flying would agree with me. Maybe I'd get used to it in time. I'm certainly willing to try.
I haven't found a profession that really suits me, so I'll go with superhero or princess, thank you. If we can supposedly become anything we put our minds to - who's to say I can't be one of these two women,. Right?
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