Tuesday, August 6, 2013

ostriches from hell - updated with illustration!

I pass an ostrich farm on my way to work every day.  Considering I've been driving this path for the past nine years, I kind of know how they usually look and act on any normal day.  (Not to mention I've seen them doing things that I really have never had any desire to see.  Ostrich luvin')

Oh!  Did I tell you I hate ostriches?

They peck hard, they kick hard, they're really fast and birds just shouldn't be that big.  At all.  Unless they're a Muppet with a person standing inside them. And even then they're still kind of creepy.

Anyway, as I was getting up to the farm on my drive this morning, I noticed that the ostriches were standing in a group up near the fence line and they were holding their wings down in an odd way that I hadn't seen before.  Hmm, wonder what that's all about?  Then I get to the point where I'm right in front of them and I saw something horrific.  They were all staring in the same direction with almost zombie-like eyes and their mouths (beaks? bills?) were all gaping open like you see in horror movies - think Invasion of the Body Snatchers

Ahhhhhhh!
Okay, the picture above is from wiki commons and is only one bird, but imagine seeing twenty of these things doing exactly the same thing.  I'll have to update this later with my own illustration.

EDIT:  I've done a quick sketch of what I saw.  Well, a smaller number of them anyway...

They don't look happy, do they?

So now I'm convinced that their demon ostrich overlord is sending the message that it's time for them to attack.  The human race will not be wiped out by global warming, disease, zombies or even a Sharknado, it will be taken over by possessed ostriches.

Don't say I didn't warn you.

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