retrograde this!

I've only recently become aware of the hell that is Mercury in Retrograde.  I'm sure you've heard of it before, but if you're anything like me, you have no idea what the heck people are talking about.  Apparently it's when everything goes awry - communication, electronics, life in general.  It's a whole pile o' crapola in the span of 3 weeks or so.  Okay, okay, that doesn't explain anything, does it?.  Let's consult About.com, shall we?

"This happens three to four times per year, when the planet Mercury slows down, and appears to stop (station) and move backward (retrograde). It's an optical illusion, since there is forward movement, like speeding by a slow-moving train -- as it recedes, it appears to go backward."

Optical illusion...right.
This makes my head hurt.
http://www.universetoday.com/22135/mercury-retrograde/

Okay, but what does that have to do with everything going on the fritz?  Well Mercury is apparently the god/planet of communications and travel, so if that stalls out or goes backwards, then it toys with our lives as we know it. 

Bastard!

What can we expect from the backward motion of a dinky hot planet named after a guy with tiny wings on his feet?  (I know, it's not the size that matters, right, Twinkle-toes?) 

From Gala Darling:

It’s like everyone you know has suddenly gone mad! You might find yourself getting into bizarre arguments about nothing at all, being unable to finish sentences or barely even able to form a coherent thought. Your computer & other electronic equipment is more likely to go on the fritz. You could experience travel delays, too. Double-check your flights &take a book with you to keep you occupied while you wait for the train! We don’t tend to get all the information we need at this time, so it can be hard to make big decisions & it’s not always the best time to sign a contract, either.

Bizarre arguments about nothing at all? Check!  Unable to form a coherent thought?  Check!  Oh, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! 

I think from now on, I'm going to mark my calendar to warn me about this horrid time of the year.  Or, better yet, I'm bookmarking this site to give me an instant answer.  For now, I'm going to huddle up in a corner, keep to myself, and try not to talk to anyone until it's over.  Then I can go back to thinking of Mercury as a manlier god.

Brendan Fraser - the nakey god

Well, I'll try to anyway.  I just can't get over those little wings...